Beautiful Eyes

Romantic...may be...

Those sparkling blue eyes,
intoxicating like wine.
I can stare at them all day,
they are my holy shrine...
Every time I see you around,
my fate starts to shine.
I'm not joking my dear,
I want to make you mine...

Eyes blue as an ocean,
so beautiful and so deep.
let me be lost forever in it,
I'd never ever let you weep...
I'll take care of everything,
even when life gets steep.
Every night I will kiss your lips,
before you go to sleep...
 
Your eyes are so deceptive,
they trick me every time.
I wanna be with you forever,
but maybe it's just not my time...
Falling for your eyes,
was my only crime.
How naive of me?
You will never be mine...

Author's Note

Your opinion please, help me improve it...:)

Reviews

[Penny]

The beauty of eyes lies in the emotion they reflect, very beautiful and heart touching piece. The story you described here is indeed very common and infact a part of everyone's life, which brings us closer to our hearts on a different level. The treatement, again of this poem's subject is perfect.. starting from the rhyming scheme to the length and language. Very well done.

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much Penny...:)

[Penny]

My pleasure as always.

[Ally]

You did a great job and I love it! Awesome job!

[Sanjh]

I'm glad you liked it Ally, thank you. :)

[anne]

beautiful...the eyes are beautiful and such is your poem..:))

[Sanjh]

Thanks Shivedita...:)

[Natalie]

This is really nice! I really liked the rhymes within your poem, and each line flowed perfectly. As the saying goes, "the eyes are the windows to the soul", I think this poem perfectly reflects that. My interpretation would be that the person in the poem is falling for the owner of the blue eyes' soul, yet also knowing at the same time the deceptive nature within their personality. Loved this!

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much Natalie, I'm glad you liked it...:)

[Erika]

Captivating. Enjoyed the read and how it flows smoothly. Talent :)

[Sanjh]

Thank you Erika, I'm glad you liked it...:)

[Moonlight]

It is indeed true that eyes are one of the most striking features of a face. The beauty of the eyes of the girl in the poem is very beautifully described. I love it a lot. Eyes are a reflection of the heart. I mean I am I finding it really hard to put what i want to say in words. The poem is very deep and the last stanza is what is really piercing! I guess I'll just say that I liked this one a lot! :)

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much for the kind words Shivangi...:)

[LadyNaida]

They say the eyes are the mirrors to our soul. Yes, sometimes they can be deceptive. Enjoyed my read.

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much...:)

[Misha]

Beginning is beautiful but the end brings out the ugly realities....

[Sanjh]

Thank you for reading Misha...:)

[Misha]

Ur most welcome...:)

[Misha]

Ur most welcome...:)

[Onyia-Ali, Kingsley Chu..]

Romance. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Well done.

[Sanjh]

Thank you Onyia...:)

[The Black Warrior]

Those sparkling blue eyes,
intoxicating like wine.
I can stare at them all day,
they are my holy shrine...
Every time I see you around,
my fate starts to shine.
I'm not joking my dear,
I want to make you mine...
^ I LOVE THIS STANZA! it made me giggle specially this line>"I want to make you mine... "

OMG!

This is beautiful. I loved it! This poem stole a smile from me which is both good and bad. Bad because everybody at work were just staring at me.

I love it...it is well written, so elegant, soft and gentle. Amazing, Stunning!

What else can I say?

OH, I fell in love with this poem.

[Sanjh]

Lol, I'm glad you liked it so much. And it made you smile, it's a big complement to me...thank you...:)

[The Black Warrior]

You are very welcome! It is indeed, beautiful! ;)