Beautiful Eyes

Romantic...may be...

Those sparkling blue eyes,
intoxicating like wine.
I can stare at them all day,
they are my holy shrine...
Every time I see you around,
my fate starts to shine.
I'm not joking my dear,
I want to make you mine...

Eyes blue as an ocean,
so beautiful and so deep.
let me be lost forever in it,
I'd never ever let you weep...
I'll take care of everything,
even when life gets steep.
Every night I will kiss your lips,
before you go to sleep...
 
Your eyes are so deceptive,
they trick me every time.
I wanna be with you forever,
but maybe it's just not my time...
Falling for your eyes,
was my only crime.
How naive of me?
You will never be mine...

Author's Note

Your opinion please, help me improve it...:)

Reviews

[Penny]

The beauty of eyes lies in the emotion they reflect, very beautiful and heart touching piece. The story you described here is indeed very common and infact a part of everyone's life, which brings us closer to our hearts on a different level. The treatement, again of this poem's subject is perfect.. starting from the rhyming scheme to the length and language. Very well done.

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much Penny...:)

[Penny]

My pleasure as always.

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

oooh, I love this one. Beautiful blue eyes, so mesmerizing and tantalizing. Great word play.

[Ankita]

Eyes, the organ that never lies and falling for someone's eyes is like falling for the soul of that person.
:)
beautifully written :)

[Sanjh]

Thanks Ankita...:)

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

I think you don't need opinion to improve but just write beautiful poems all time. Love is all over you I see...

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much for appreciating. And there was a time when love was all over me but now I doubt it. :):p

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Don't doubt love simply find a true one....its there just wanna make a move!

[Sanjh]

Definitely, someone somewhere must be waiting for me too. hahaha, thanks. :)

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Welcome!!!

[Lyndy]

Nice and beautiful poem, I love it! :D

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much for reading Lyndy. :)

[NicholeHemstock]

I rather like the bold sadness that shows itself at the end, and I think you can make it much more detailed with more time and thought!

[Sanjh]

Thanks for the advice Nichole, apologies for replying after 4 months. I'll try my best to improve it. :)

[Saddam]

Your eyes are too beautiful,
It is brilliant.

[Sanjh]

Thank you. :)

[Hailey noice]

Beautiful don't change anything.

[Sanjh]

Thanks Hailey. :)

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Very romentic really ..but it looks like a letter to a heart that never reached as the pain remained locked in the heart of speaker ,gorgeous !

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much Red, you got it right, almost ...:)

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Very romentic really ..but it looks like a letter to a heart that never reached as the pain remained locked in the heart of speaker ,gorgeous !

[Ana B.]

agh, mesmerizing work S, loved every line :)

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much Ana...:)