Flying Away...

Love's in the air...

The first time when I saw you,

my life was black and white...
When you smiled at me for the first time,
I knew everything's gonna be alright...

 

You came in like a breeze,

blowing my heart apart.
Like the first drop of the rain,

you gave my life a brand new start.
Your smile's my only hope,

the only thing I have in life.
Wish to be with you forever,
I wanna love you all my life...

 

My heart is flying away,

following you everywhere...

I'm going crazy for you,

don't know it's night or the day...
Yeah, my heart is beating so loud,
I can hear it loud in the crowd...
Your love is all over my mind,

and I'm in heaven on a cloud...

 

Your smile is my sunshine,

your hair is dark as night...

I'm falling for you every time,

and it seems to be so right...

 

Your love is everything,

that's keeping me alive...
I wanna feel you by my side,

wanna be with you all my life...
Every time I see you smile,

it makes my heart fly so high...
I'll die for you baby,
Would never ever let you cry...
Yeah, would never let you cry...

 
My heart is flying away,

following you everywhere...

I'm going crazy for you,

don't know it's night or the day...

And I know I'm trying so hard,

you are my life's missing part,

I'm sure that someday you'll see,

and we will never be apart...

 

Author's Note

Kindly provide your views..

Reviews

[icomeanon_13]

This is a very sweet poem which highlights the initial emotions of new love. As Pushkar said in the review below, it is innocent. I would go so far as to say a little naive. The poem is reminiscent of a dozen red roses: beautiful and thoughtful but also a little predictable.

From a technical standpoint, watch out for tense confusion. The first stanza is a good example of going from past tense to present in a jarring manner:
"When you smiled at me for the first time, (past tense)
I knew everything's gonna be alright." (present tense)

"Yeah, my heart is beating so loud,
I can hear it loud in the crowd..." this feels a little awkward. Too many rhyming words in these two lines. Consider revision.

"You are all over on my mind" This is also an awkward line. "all over" would not be used to describe how often you think of somone. Consider revision.

On the whole, it is a fun poem. I think what I'd like to see is a series as the relationship progresses. Because the truth is love is painful and it's a full time job. We're going to cry, be hurt, and hopefully forgive. The evolution of a first crush to the last fight would be something I'd like to see on paper.

[Sanjh]

Thank you for reading and providing so many helpful inputs. I'll try my best to improve it and other writings...

Thank you so much...:)

[icomeanon_13]

Keep writing! You're well on your way.

[Lola_Bee]

Definitely a love song! I picture you standing outside the window with a banjo or guitar and serenading your love :-)

[Sanjh]

Thanks for reading...:)

[blackfairy3]

Awww this is so sweet I loved the way the emotion love is described in this poem.

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much...:)

[R Smith]

its a love song, you should put it to music my friend, very well written :)

[Sanjh]

Thank you sir, and am already working on music...:)

[MomzillaNC]

Aww… very sweet, over the top love poem. It's rather like a lyric

[Sanjh]

Yep it is lyric. And just waiting to get sung with music...:)

Thanks for appreciating...:)

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome.

[Gurleen Saluja]

A very descriptive piece of love I should say. Displaying the sentiments wholly. Thanks for sharing :)

[Sanjh]

Thanks for reading...:)

[Gurleen Saluja]

you are very welcome :)

[Aparna]

Can feel the intensity of your love through the words. Nice poem :) Cheers!

[Sanjh]

Thanks for appreciating...:)