The pain in my heart,
Was not in my destiny...
The tears in my eyes,
Were not meant for me...
This life of sadness,
Is not what i asked for....
Yeah you sold out your heart,
And it was never me...
I took the pain of your
share,
and every last one of your tears...
I took the darkness away,
But it's all my cries that now I hear...
And you were never mine,
But yet you always kept on lying...
Yeah this pain was meant for you,
And now you've left me here for dying...
And now you've left me here for dying...
This fear in my soul,
I never felt it before...
Always thinking of you,
Is burning me more...
There's storm in my head,
n all the pain in the store...
It cries out your name ,
But there are so many doors...
I gave you that smile
on your face,
And took your pain with all the grace...
And I let you fly like a kite,
And you left me in this place...
But then you went away too far,
N I was waiting for all the night...
I kept on trying to bring you back,
With all the heart n all my might...
I kept on praying to the divine,
Hoping all the wrongs would change to right...
And you were never ever mine,
But yet you always kept on lying...
Yeah this pain was meant for you,
And now you've left me here for dying...
And now you've left me here for dying...
Sometimes selfless love is not returned as selflessly as it deserves to be. And that brings on pain and a lasting sadness. You have done wonders with the expression of that pain here Sanjh. Life is not fair but it is all we have. Thanks for sharing your feelings.
Posted 10 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you so much Divya...:)
10 Years Ago
My pleasure Sanjh. Let's keep writing and sharing. :)
I think a good song is something that a lot of people can relate to, and I can definitely understand the narrator's feelings in this - I can relate to it so much
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you so much for reading, I'm glad you liked it...:)
you must be a songwriter Sanjh, each time i read your work you have all the elements for music, this is sad and melancholy you must have suffered a similar fate at some time but then that's the writers main tool, to suffer is to write, write on Sanjh :)
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
I try writing songs at times sir, thanks for appreciating. And we are all here giving a glimpse of o.. read moreI try writing songs at times sir, thanks for appreciating. And we are all here giving a glimpse of our lives and our past in the form of poetry and stories.
I love your works seriously :) I'd surely read all of your work when am not o busy with things :)
10 Years Ago
Sure, you are welcome to read, review and suggest any ideas for improving the note anytime...:) read moreSure, you are welcome to read, review and suggest any ideas for improving the note anytime...:)
I knew I had read this - it was in read requests, but I read it again and still love it. Oh, the st.. read moreI knew I had read this - it was in read requests, but I read it again and still love it. Oh, the sting of betrayal, love lost, but every experience changes us and we learn. thanks again.
10 Years Ago
Sanjay, putting this in my library-re-read again. It is poetry, but it is also a beautiful song wit.. read moreSanjay, putting this in my library-re-read again. It is poetry, but it is also a beautiful song with a chorus, love it. Thank you.
Thank you so much for reviewing it again Dale. I'm glad you liked it so much. Thanks...:)
10 Years Ago
Enjoyed it Sanjay. Dale...........................................................................
10 Years Ago
Looking again over your songs. This quite beautiful too. DO NOT READ LYRICS AEROSMITH, CRYIN...I r.. read moreLooking again over your songs. This quite beautiful too. DO NOT READ LYRICS AEROSMITH, CRYIN...I really had no idea, how fowl the language is. Anyway...embarressed, let us please forget it!
beautifully expressed! and with putting emotion to pen its easy to let the pen lead and miss grammatical errors however whats important is that you were able to get all the emotion out and expressed. keep writing
This a deep piece, sometimes I had to re-read to try and grasp your meaning, personally I agree about the short-hand writing but in this world of writing you can't please everyone brother, keep it up
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Yeah it's true, we can't please everyone. We can just try our best...
Thanks for apprec.. read moreYeah it's true, we can't please everyone. We can just try our best...
Great lyric… full of passion and loss and feelings of betrayal.
NOTES: I think you've over used the word "and" in this piece. In most cases, it looks superfluous to the lines and actually hinders the meter. I know this doesn't have a strictly defined meter, nor do I think it needs it. But, a balanced meter always helps the flow of a lyric; I think the excessive use of "and" cripples that balance and also gives each otherwise unique line a feeling of over repetitiveness.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Glad that you liked it and thank you for the advice. It's very helpful...:)
Well well well.. stop using N instead of and. You aint short messaging here.dont use short hand
I am not a great fan of pessimistic poems..but the way you wrote this piece it is totally from heart. Thats a good thing
keep writing
In simple language, you have said genuine story of a broken heart. The pain, the cries, chaos on your mind and hope in spite of betrayal, everything is narrated beautifully with sadness.
I liked it a lot. Thank you for sharing.
The most geniune feelings expressed in a lively manner. There so many instances that show the real pangs of hreatfelt velediction. The poem is simply express the deep discontentment of lover's faithless who leaves her beloved crying ....I really enjoy the content and simple diction....
Keep writing...
Have a nice time!
So I'm back after a small gap of 5 months. I have more than 1200 RRs, sorry I won't be able to read them all, only the latest. Thank you for reading and reviewing my writings. :)
I am a part time w.. more..