Shiromani

Shiromani is an ichhadari nagin, meaning she has the rare ability to change her shape.

Being an ichhadari nagin, Shiromani's true form is a snake. She has the rare ability to take the shape of any living being she wishes to. Normally she likes to be a girl with olive skin, green eyes and black hair made up in a plate. The only thing is every 24 hours she will have to transform back into her original form, which is a black cobra  approximately 5 feet in length.
Ichhadari nagins are known to be vicious creatures, bringing carnage wherever they go and are feared by all. However, Shiromani is normally very gentle and does not try to hurt anyone, thus going against her true nature. She resents the fact that she is an ichhadari nagin because of the way she is viewed by people. She tries to hide the truth from everyone, even her best friends. However, as time passes and people discover her secret and she learns the true extent of her powers and starts resenting them less and takes it more as an advantage she has over others.
She generally tries to rely on her wits to get out of tricky situations. She loves learning about elixirs and potions which she can use to make subtle changes in the environment.
She also can be quite seductive if she wishes to be so.

Reviews

[Zoe]

I quite like this character! Very interesting, I'd like to read a fiction with her in it.

[Sanhorsey]

Thanks. I am not currently writing fiction about her, but I plan to do so.

[creative Marie]

I find this character real interesting, I like how you added at the end that she dabbles in elixirs. not sure why that caught my attention, but it did. Also I am curious why you chose a snake to be the true form of this shape shiftier over any other potential creatures. is there something special or symbolic, or was did you just randomly come up with it?

[John McDonald]

For Shiromani, I think that the word that you were thinking for her hair is a plait, not a plate. I've got a great picture of her in my mind, well done on describing her. I had never heard of a ichhadari agin - looked it up and was surprised to see that this creature exists in Indian folklore. Not sure where the story is going. Is it complete?

Keep up the good work!

[Sanhorsey]

Thanks! I have actually been working on other stories recently.

[Coyote Song]

This is very interesting. I enjoyed learning about this shape shifting character. She sounds kind but has to fight her not so kind nature. This has the potential for an exciting character in a will written story.

[Sanhorsey]

Thanks a lot!

[Coyote Song]

You're welcome.

[barleygirl]

I am an old person, stuck in my ways, so I'm not very good at reading things that are new & imaginary, such as this beginning to a story. I'm also not a fan of violence, our world has too much of that already, so I don't want to read about it for pleasure. Please excuse me for my personal preferences, but I have confidence you will find many younger readers who enjoy your fantasy warrior style.

I understand from one of your comments that you wrote this as a character profile, which is a good exercise to practice on, becuz developing characters is one of the most important parts of writing. I would suggest that you take this exercise to the next step . . . instead of TELLING us about your Shiromani, maybe you could write a companion piece where you SHOW instead of tell (which is the best part of good writing).

Here's an example, altho I know you would do it in your own style, with your own imagination . . . instead of saying "Shiromani's true form is a snake" . . . another way to SHOW that is to describe her slithering along, showing us what her scales look like, for example, then showing us that she is changing into a different form. That way, we SEE this about her, instead of being told this is the way she is.

Most importantly, have fun! Thanks for sharing.

[Sanhorsey]

Thanks a lot for reviewing and for your advice.... I agree that showing is most often better than telling. Or perhaps, thinking of it another good way could have been to bring the fact that she is a snake out in a conversation. Thanks a lot for reviewing again.

[barleygirl]

Exactly! . . . about the "conversation" idea . . . many ways to do it!

[iamshadowine]

interesting plot, I've heard a lot about ichhadari nagins. their stories are quite famous in india, i guess.
I'd like to read more of it!
keep writing :D

[David Jae]

An interesting character. Reminds me of Ananszi. Not sure that this is a story, though. A little heavy on exposition.

[Sanhorsey]

To be honest I made this for one of the contests 'of create a character,' and then got mixed up in the settings and so I guess it ended up in the stories. So I'll try and remove it, sorry! But thanks for review.

[David Jae]

Don't worry. As a character, there is a lot of potential.