My First Letter

Dear Mother,

I have felt often that I should write all of my feelings down, but I am not comfortable with diary keeping. I always feel self-conscious, as if what I am writing down is not real. It feels as though I am making up a story about another person.

But then I thought about letter writing. I have often found myself to be a dutiful correspondent, always feeling guilty if I never reply in a suitable amount of time.

You see, Mother, even though you are dead I still feel your presence close to me in whatever I do. I see you wherever I go. You are in the flowers, the leaves, the face of my little sister, my dear Elizabeth. I remember racing inside when I was younger to help you with dinner, though you never did let me touch the knives. I would sit on the stool and peel the onions while you taught me how to be a proper lady.

You taught me everything, Mother. And, for that, I am eternally grateful.

You were my mentor until you were ripped so cruelly away from me when I was fifteen. I am nineteen now, nearly a proper woman of marrying age. Your teachings were not lost on me.

I am teaching Elizabeth the same. When to speak, when to curtsy. I am teaching her how to cook and how to sew. And, most of all, I am teaching her about you.

You know what I mean, dearest Mother. You know that everything you said and everything you did was a lesson in itself. You were just and kind and good. Thank you.

Mother I was lost without you. When both you and Father left I was at a loss. I feared that Elizabeth and I would have to go to the workhouse, sewing clothes and getting little pay with poor living conditions. I was terrified of that fate and I am so glad we never met it.

I see the women there are missing the light from their eyes, as though happiness had deserted them completely. Beautiful, broken women, hardened from the years of work they had done and looking upon future years with no joy at all. I could never subject Elizabeth to that.

But we managed. We hid our poverty behind our smiles, and we disguised our hunger with our laughter. I am so glad that I was old enough to take care of my baby sister and myself at the same time. She is ten now, Mother, and so beautiful- far more beautiful than any ten year old I have ever met. I wish you could see her. She looks just like you.

Mother, I love you. But for now I must go and sleep, for tomorrow I have clothes to wash and food to cook. I will write again in the evening, I promise. And every evening after that. Forever.

Your loving daughter,
Jane

Reviews

[Astrid]

This is a lovely letter. I often find myself thinking to my mum (who has also moved on) or even talking aloud to her about how much I love her and what I wish I did differently. Everyone has their way of coping and methinks writing letters is a wonderful way to do so.

A few suggestions:
"[...]were just and kind and good." Too many "and"s in one area is repetitive, maybe use commas?"[...]were just, kind, and good."

"Mother I was lost without you. " Add a comma after "Mother".

[Valkyrie Warrior]

You is really good I like it a lot!

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful letter and thoughts. Letters have great value. Can be kept for lifetimes. I like the internal thoughts and memories of mother. Thank you for sharing the excellent opening chapter.
Coyote

[Sanguine]

Thank you for reviewing. I've nearly finished the second letter and already have thoughts for the third.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome. A well written letter. I hope to read more. Please send the read request.

[Sanguine]

I will. It should be sometime within the next hour or two.

[Sanguine]

I sent the request though I am not entirely sure whether or not it went through. I'm new to the site- only joined yesterday- so I'm still trying to find my way around it :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Easy to figure out. If your read. People will return the favor. Send read requests. Good to meet you.