It's Me, Daddy

Looking at an alcoholic father through the eyes of his child

It's me, daddy as I hide behind the door

Don't you see me hunkered down here

as the lamp hits the floor?

It's me ,daddy, don't you see me crying there?

I'm small and frail and so afraid

I love you and I don't want to be scared.

It's me, daddy, as you take another sip

I want to run and grab that bottle and take it from your lips.

It's me, daddy as the yelling bout begins

I wonder in my small young mind, when will the turmoil end.

It's me daddy, it's Christmas time

I'm waiting by the door

We can't open present till you get here

But you've been late before

It's me, daddy, don't you see me, as you stumble up the drive?

I don't want my presents anymore, just want to run and hide.

It's me, daddy, at my grade school patriotic play

I know that you won't be here cause it's just another day.

You're drunk and tired and out of touch with what time it even is

I play my part, the people clap, it goes off without a hitch.

I'm the only child without a dad to cheer and be so proud

If you only knew that's all I want, to see your face in the crowd.

It's me, daddy, graduation day and I know you won't be here

you're too busy soaking up self pitty with your beer.

You finally stumble up the isle after the ceremony starts

you missed me getting my diploma, the most important part.

It's me daddy, my wedding day is here

can't wait till you walk me down the isle but the alcohol is near.

It's on your breath as you kiss the bride to give your girl away

Oh how I wish we just could do this on another day.

It's me daddy, my son is being born today

I wish that you would be here but I know that you're on your way

To some bar close by cause you can't take the pain

I can see it in your face, all the torment and the shame.

It's me daddy, as I stand beside your grave

I wish you could have been sober to know the love I gave.

It's me daddy, I want to take your hands

to look you in the face and tell you I understand.

It wasn't something that you chose or that you could control

The addiction overtook us all and then it took it's toll.

It's me daddy, your little girl is here

after all the hurt and all the pain, lovin you after all these years.

 

 

Reviews

[Stephanie]

Oh man, I was so close to tears. To grow up like that must be horrible.
Those who spend their lives drunk miss all the good things in life.
Amazing perspective and touching message. Thanks for sharing :)

[Rhine Wolf]

ok you seriously have me in tears here! thank the Gods i am not like that to my boys. but there are somany home that this is an every day reality and all i want to do is rush in and save them, every last one but i cant, you cant help thoes that dont want help, and if this was you, my hat off to you!

thank you for sharing

Blessed be!
Fallon

[QuietPoet]

There is so much pain and hurt in this. This was so sad, I had tears. I bet he is in heaven begging to have another chance.. Thank you for your request.

[Jarrett]

Yes I see your pain, Ma'am, for mine was a similar upbringing.
The depth of emotion expressed in this work took my breath away as I read it, and I felt as though I was there.
The tragedy of nonfiction is sometimes the cruelest of all.
I had quite a connection to this work, wonderful job.

[closed account]

So much emotion, pain, agony for your fathers love and sobriety. I can relate to this poem very much, you brought tears to my eyes. Wow, it's crazy how this poem broght back so much that I have tucked away. I am fortunate to have a sober father TODAY!!