Depression

 

I sit here and figure out

What life is all about,

 

I wonder if there will be

Any answer

To the crazy things

That goes on in this life

 

I wish upon shooting stars

I wish upon founded pennies

I wish upon birthday candles

To hope it all gets better

 

Is sit here and figure out

What life is all about

 

The struggles we try to overcome

The wars we have failed

Just put us all down

Into a depression

 

Fighting back tears

Wondering when its

All gonna end

 

All I just do is try

 

The trying goes unnoticed

The effort is just an act

My light has burned out

 

Sitting in a depression

Sitting back in the corner

Wearing nothing but black

The smooth cut of the razor

The cold trickle of the crimson color

Drips down to the floor

 

Splat splat

 

Depression is what got me here,

 In the first place.

Author's Note

This is just a random thought that i had. I started out with the first line, and then went with it.
NO! I am not at this state, in my life and thanks for the kind concerns.

Reviews

[Travis Lawrence]

I like it. I too sometimes write depressing stuff even if I'm not in that state, just to get it off my chest sometimes before it's too overwhelming. One thing I would cut, and no pun intended :-) ...

"The smooth cut of the razor
The cold trickle of the crimson color
Drips down to the floor

Splat splat"

Yes, yes, cutting yourself and whatnot, but I take one glance and roll my eyes when I read something like this, because I've seen it SOOOO many times before. If you get rid of it I think the poem is stronger and retains its message. Overall a solid piece, though. Oh, and I love the random colored lines :-)

-Travis

[An Ordinary Woman]

This is a poignant write but very well penned and so creative. I enjoyed the added visual with the colors.

Sitting in a depression
Sitting back in the corner
Wearing nothing but black
The smooth cut of the razor
The cold trickle of the crimson color
Drips down to the floor

Splat splat ... This stanza is very powerful and even worries me because it is written so profoundly it concerns me for your welfare. It makes me want to chk in on you and make sure your alright.

[PhoeniX]

good write. life can get someone to the breaking point all too easily. but if i may say just one small thing, when you wrote:
'Is sit here and figure out
What life is all about'

its somewhat broken. maybe adding a question mark to the end of this verse could help it. but with that it still sounds sorta off. maybe you could also add an 'it' between 'figure' and 'out'.

'is 'sit here and figure it out'
what life is all about?'

this flows better. but altogether, its up to you to change.

[-Adam-]

Very deep, and the way it make me think is just crazy. I've where this poem tells about, and it was not the best of times. I just wish I wrote more then so I could have portrayed it like you have done here. Well done Sandra!

-Adam-

[Legion]

Do not let life take Life away from you. Keep trying one moment at a time. As long as one single soul notices, it will be worth the weight of the world in everything held sacred to you. Sad write. Wish you better moments ahead.

[justjenn_2u]

I liked the concept of this poem. If you want me to give you a little more detailed opinion on it, just email me. Believe me, I am not the greatest poet but I always welcome any critique. Let me know if you would like more detail of how I feel about this one.