Frozen Time Lapse

Another poem that was sawed away from my emotions.

As a young girl, there was a pace within my life that brought several moments,
Many of them I remember, while the rest were blurred as time broke and raced onward.
I recall the days where time seemed as if it stood still, the uncomfortable sensation of
       that slowness
Continuously haunts me with the forward and backward"ticks and tocks"forward and backward.
People moved to the rhythm the clock was playing"tick and tock…tick and tock…
Racing and chasing the inescapable of what their lives will soon become secretly,
Sleeking and sneaking, birds of prey, hunting for the latest snatch of what could be given
       to a thirsty humanoid hawk.
They were all engulfed in whatever was promised without proof of its existence,
       repeatedly,
And I was one of those people, who clung to those promises and drowned in the everlasting
       love,
Which would ultimately lead to the demise of what I would find myself to be.
That’s when everything I so selfishly loved froze the time lapse of my life, everything
       and everyone thereof.
I never aged; I never changed; I was forever to remain the same me.
Within the frozen time lapse, I was alone and never could speak to the ones, who stood
       still.
I felt alive in a dollhouse, where my player forgot about my world, leaving me like this
       forever.
A quick death wasn’t an option"death and life ceased to exist"cursed with the medication
       of the red pill.
Gulp, gulp; drink, drink; ever after of an excruciating endeavor to keep breathing and
       experiencing death…never.
Suffering in a tormenting frozen time lapse, struggling, crying, screaming, breathing,
       wishing, praying; kill me all together.
I cried out for help; I bellowed out for care; I chanted “help me…help me” until it rang
       into a fade, until the echo died out.
I lay still and held my breath, inhaling carefully, preventing my diaphragm from moving;
       I’m the mannequin of terror.
Forget to remember, remembering is only forgetting; tock and tick…tock and tick…
Play life backwards, choose between the game of Death or Life, and see where I begin and
       end.
As an adult, there was a pace within my life that brought several moments.
I remember many of them, while the rest blurred as time replayed, speeding onward.
I recall the days where time seemed as if it stood still, the uncomfortable sensation of
       that slowness
Limitlessly haunting me with the backward and forward"tocks and ticks"backward and
       forward.

Tock and tick…tock and tick… See where I begin and end…

Author's Note

A quick poem written out of depression.