The Nose Bleed

Unexpected health problems

December 10, 1988 10:30 am

You really can't know what will happen from day to day. I am sitting here in the dining room of Doctor's Medical Center in Modesto. Richard is in room 68 with an IV in his arm, his nose plugged with gauze, his body pumped full of drugs, one for pain, one for stomach upset, so he will quit throwing up, others for possible infection from his nose being poked around in so many times yesterday.

All of this is happening because of a simple nosebleed, only it wasn't so simple. Richard's nose began to bleed Thursday at about 4:30 pm. I was taking a nap when Richard woke me up, "Mom, my nose is bleeding."

I told him what to do and I went back to sleep. I know that sounds cruel on my part but he is fourteen-years old and nosebleeds are not that uncommon in boys his age, anyway the bleeding stopped.

That night, or rather early the next morning at around 2:30 a.m. Richard woke me up with another nosebleed. Again I told him what to do but this time his nose did not stop bleeding. I got up and did what my mom had done for my brother.

Everyone knows you tilt your head back and keep a cool cloth under your neck. I did that, then he lay back down, twenty minutes later he was up again. His nose was bleeding, again. So it went for the rest of the night and into the morning.

Even though Richard's nose was bleeding a lot I was not worried. I felt certain that I could get it to stop. Richard had the flu a few days ago and as a result he had a bad cough. I felt that if I could get his coughing to slow down then the bleeding might stop. It didn't help. In the morning I knew, finally, that something was very wrong.

Every time it looked like the bleeding had stopped he would start spitting up blood. We must have gone through five big towels and four little ones before I decided it was time to take him to the hospital.

One reason I didn't take Richard to the hospital sooner is because I did not want to take him to Oak Valley hospital, as they do not have a good reputation over there. Truly, from personal experience I know this to be true. I wanted to wait until his regular doctor opened his office at ten. However the doctor was delayed in surgery. I felt that rather than wait another hour I had better take him to the renowned Oak Valley Hospital District Emergency room.

Really I must say that the doctor did try to help. However, after I told the doctor and the nurse how much blood Richard had lost they still did not do a blood count on him. They should have. The doctor packed his nose with gauze, a common practice for nosebleeds, then we went home.

One half hour later we were back at the hospital. The bleeding was worse. The doctor took out the packing he had just put in, cleaned Richard's nose, and repacked both nostrils this time.

We left, again, but this time we were back after only five minutes. The towel he was using to spit his blood in had turned from blue to red.

The doctor saw me, and asked how Richard was. I told him and the doctor said, "Well a little blood will not hurt him. Let him spit it up or swallow it."

I said, "But doc the towel has changed colors."

The doc said, "You will have to wait about half an hour then I will see him again."

I left Richard in the emergency waiting room and took his younger brother home. While I was gone a nurse came by and seeing all the blood Richard was spitting out felt that he should be seen right away.

This time the doctor knew it was no ordinary nosebleed. This was serious. I realize now it was at this point Richard began to go into shock.

This last bout with bleeding left the doctor pretty shook up so he called Dr. Chock and together they set up an appointment with an Ear, Nose, and Throat Specialist in Modesto, so off we went.

On our way Richard continued to spit up blood. He was getting pretty scared and asked me, "I am going to die."

I noticed that he was sweating and his skin was cold. I remember wondering how much blood he might be swallowing.

"Why no, of course you aren't dying."

It took me awhile to find the Doctor's office. When we finally arrived Dr. Yates saw him right away. The doctor and his nurse sat Richard up in a chair, put a big plastic bib on him, and removed the gauze.

While the doctor was attempting to find the cause of the bleeding Richard started having severe pains in his stomach. Shortly thereafter he proceeded to throw up blood with lots of little clots in it.

I'm not talking about a little bit of blood here. I am talking about huge amounts of blood.

Sometimes in those scary movies they have someone throwing up blood. This blood shoots right out of the actor's mouth. This is what Richard was doing. It was eerie.

I remember feeling no panic at all. As a matter of fact I felt nothing. I knew only that I must comfort Richard and assure him that his stomach was not bleeding and that the blood he threw up was from his nose. It was blood that he had swallowed it.

Richard did not panic. He was calm, not at all like himself. As long as I live I am going to remember how that looked, all that blood on the floor and the walls and on my shoes and his shoes, blood coming out of his mouth and his nose at the same time.

After the doctor packed Richard's nose he had us go over to Doctor's Medical Center so they could hook Richard up to an IV and give him some fluids to help build his blood back up faster.

Finally a doctor realized just how much blood he had lost.

They had packed his nose three times yesterday. To my way of thinking they should have known after the first time that it wasn't working to stop the bleeding.

Doctor's don't really work together for the benefit of the patients. Each one feels that his treatment will work. Had Richard not thrown up all that blood on the floor the doctor might not have known that something was really amiss.

I believe Dr. Yates knew his treatment wasn't going to work but he packed Richard's nose anyway. I guess he had to try. The bleeding did stop until we got to the hospital and Richard had to stand up then it started again. After the nurse hooked him up to an IV it stopped again.

They had to take Richard's blood pressure every fifteen minutes and once when he stood up for the nurse the bleeding started again.

Another doctor, one who works with Dr. Yates, came and told me they were going to have to put Richard under and try to find the bleeding and cauterize it if they could, then repack the front, this time packing the back as well.

They couldn't cauterize it though because it was in the back of his nose, so they packed front and back and here we are, Richard sleeping and me writing.

Richard has thrown up twice since the surgery but it was old blood, not fresh, so it looks as if the bleeding has stopped. He is having trouble keeping liquids down.

It is a relief when he throws up to see that there is no more blood in it. He must stay in the hospital for about five days. I pray that he doesn't get an infection in his sinuses.

The doctor feels that packing the back of Richard's nose will work. I hope he is right. I told the doctor, "One time another doctor told me my son's hip wouldn't pop out of its joint again, but it did, many times."

I still feel surprisingly calm, but I know me. When this is all over and Richard is better then I will fall apart, then I will cry. As it stands right now I feel numb. It is a strange feeling. Perhaps it is only that after four kids I have lots of practice in staying calm for their sake.

The little boy in the room with Richard has a pin in his elbow. He fell out of a tree and broke his arm. There is a baby across the hall. He is three weeks old. There is a little girl in the room. She is mentally challenged, blind, and fifteen years old, but she is very small and frail. Apparently she had a twin sister who was the same health-wise. This sister died last week

It somehow doesn't seem right that children should suffer. They are young and innocent, but fate is not choosy who it visits suffering on. The girl who is mentally challenged, her parents haven't come to see her. I guess she doesn't know them anyway. Still she is their child and while she is on this earth they should love her and stand by her.

I hope the doctor is right about Richard. I hope the bleeding stops and will not come back. Richard is pretty foggy right now and doesn't seem to care if I am here or not, oh not really. It is just that there is little for me to do except wait and be here when he wakes up. God is watchful and I'm sure he will watch out for Richard.

1:50 pm

When Richard threw up all that blood in the doctor's office I remember everything I said to him. I remember the way he looked. His skin felt clammy. He was sweating, and his skin was cool to the touch.

All Richard could say was, "I threw up blood." A few minutes later he said, "I'm scared."

The doctor kept working on Richard's nose. I stood there helping him by talking calmly to Richard and rubbing his shoulders and arms, keeping one hand on his head to keep it tilted right for the doctor. I was, all the while, very conscience of the blood on the floor sticking to my shoes.

December 11, 1988

Richard is much better today. It is Monday and we have been here since late Friday. There hasn't been any more bleeding since Saturday.

I don't trust doctors. I used to but not anymore. Nurses too have become very unfriendly over the years, very professional, very unfeeling.

You think I am being unfair, too harsh on the nurses. Perhaps I am, perhaps they are like they are today because they are so short-handed.

I get the feeling the hospital staff doesn't like my staying here at night. The doctors and nurses were happy enough to have me stay when we first came in, now I am not so sure. It doesn't really matter. I'm here and here I will stay until it is time for Richard to go home.

They took out Richard's IV today, and he gets to take a bath. He was upset that the nurse saw him in the nude. I weighed him. He weighs 183 pounds. That is a lot of weight for a kid his age to pack around.

I am getting kind of buggy hanging around this hospital all the time.

I walk and observe what is happening around me. You can see new and strange faces at all hours of the night, haggard, worried, tired faces with sad eyes. Confused faces wondering what is being done to their loved ones behind closed doors, knowing that their loved one's well being and sometimes their lives are in the hands of strangers.

You have to trust these strangers to know what they are doing, you have no other choice.

The hospital is a last resort for most people. They go there only if they have to, and stay only as long as necessary. Sometimes you can catch a glimpse of their eyes and see their pain. They get medical help, they get tests done, they get things explained to them, but they don't get a kind word or a gentle caring hand, they only get professional care.

The loneliest kind of care in the world I think is professional care.

I have observed that very few people make direct eye contact in a hospital. Doctors and nurses seem to look through the patients and see only the symptoms. Family members are confused and tired and seem to avoid eye contact with everyone except the doctor, and the doctor will not meet their gaze directly, only indirectly.

I have a terrible habit of looking right into a person's eyes no matter where I may be. I notice here at the hospital that most people look away. Most people everywhere look away no matter whom it is I may be talking with. I wonder if that is how I scare people. I wonder if that is how I intimidate people.

The nurses will not let me pick up the baby in the room across the hall. Poor little thing cries for half an hour before the nurses come and check on him.

The nurses are busy and short-handed so I offered to help with the baby. However, the baby's mother was upset when she came in and saw me feeding and rocking her baby yesterday. I think she resented it, but also she was worried he might catch something.

I understand the mother's fear. Still, I was being careful not to breathe on the baby. I put a blanket on my shoulder in case my clothes had germs on them. The mother didn't see this though, all she saw was that I was holding her baby. I could see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice.

I was thinking, you go to a hospital to get cured but the hospital is the most likely of places to pick up some unwanted disease.

Think about that.

 

 

Author's Note

Richard and I went home after five days in the hospital. The doctor was right, he has never had another nose bleed.

However, one year later Richard began having seizures, which he suffers from to this day. His entire brain is involved in this seizure disorder. As a result it is difficult, if not impossible, for the doctors to find a clear reason for his current trouble with Epilepsy.

Reviews

[Here's What I Say]

When it's a job, it's just a job; you just do what you're supposed to do for a mindless eight hours, and then when you're clocked out, you can be human. Even working at a grocery store, that's how I feel like. I try not to talk to the customers too much so they can leave and I can have time to clean up and do what I have to do before the next customer arrives. If I have that time, that is.

So to those doctors and nurses, it's just a job. There's reason for them not to get emotionally involved with their patients because some of them will surely die or live with health consequences for the rest of their lives, but being in contact with people who are afraid for their lives deserve some compassion. I have three aunts and a cousin who work at a hospital. And I wonder if they treat their patients the way I, sadly, have come to treat my customers. All the best for you and your son.

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My very best to you and your son Richard. I pray his condition improves completely and he is able to lead a healthy and active life.