The Choice

On a sunny afternoon day they chose death over life

On April 13, 2005, on a sunny, somewhat cool, windy afternoon an elderly couple in their mid-seventies carried out a murder/suicide pact, a pact that included the elderly couple's dog.

This murder/suicide took place in a park a short distance from the local hospital. The husband shot his wife, then their dog, and then himself. Being so near the hospital help arrived immediately. The wife, and dog, were both dead. The husband, though alive, would die a short time later.

Why would this elderly couple choose death over life? Why so near a hospital? A place where they knew there would be immediate help available. Why include the family pet in their pact with death? Why not carry out this pact in the privacy of their home? Why in broad daylight? Why not carry out this murder/suicide under the cover of darkness?

I see Honor in what these two people chose to do. I can understand why they would choose to end their lives, and that of their pet, together, in broad daylight, under the eyes of God and the world. They were not ashamed of the choice they made. Carrying out their plan so near a hospital makes perfect sense. Their bodies would be found right away. No one who loves them would have to suffer the heartache of being the one who found them.

This was not an irrational act by two elderly senile people. These two people made a conscience choice to cheat old age out of its prize. They would not allow old age to rob them of their memories: Would not allow it to make them helpless and dependent on others for their every need. They would not run the risk of becoming a burden to their families.

Or worse, much, much worse, ending up in a Nursing Home.

Nursing Homes are the end of the road for most elderly people. Every adult knows this to be true. Nine times out of ten when the elderly enter a nursing home alive, they don't leave until they are dead, and that doesn't often take long.

My own experience with nursing homes these last four years has left me praying fervently to God that I do not live long enough to end up in such a sad, lonely place. The place we discard our elderly because they are in our way.

Mama says, "A woman can raise five children on her own, without any help from anyone, and none of these five children, as adults themselves, will have time to care for one old woman."

As I said, I see Honor in what the old couple chose to do. I see no shame on them.

Buddha said, "It is not the action that matters, but the motivation behind the action."

They did not act to harm others. They went out of their way, in fact, to minimize the harm done by their actions.

I know that there are many who will disagree with me. There are many who will say, "Surely there was a better, easier way."

We live in a disposal society. We have shelters for the homeless, many of whom must still live outside, surviving under bridges, in doorways, in dark alleys. We pass laws to prevent them from sleeping in our parks. We have animal shelters, and the pound, to take our unwanted pets. We take children away from abusive homes and place them in abusive homes.

We take our aging parents, people blessed with a wisdom we may never learn, and we abandon them to the care of strangers, people who can never love them because they can never know them.

To know that you will one day become helpless and dependent upon others, again, seems a harsh punishment to some of us, harsher even than the thought of death.

Whatever their reasoning, I am certain that the elderly couple meant no harm, nor disrespect, to the loved ones they left behind. I do not know for certain why they felt it necessary to end their lives, and that of their dog, in a murder/suicide pact. I can only take their actions, and add to it the knowledge I have gained from my life. In doing this I draw this conclusion:

Taking into account what little I know of their actions, and the way in which they carried out this act, I believe that this couple acted out of love for themselves, for their dog, and for their families.

Having said all of this I will now say that the tragedy of this old couple's choice does not escape me. Faced with the possibility of becoming helpless, of losing their memories, of one day possibly ending up in a nursing home, they chose death over life.

They chose to leave rather than face becoming helpless and dependent in a society that is fast becoming a cold, indifferent, and often dangerous place in which to grow old.

The old in our society will outnumber the young within twenty years, if not sooner. The question of what to do with our aging population should be a top priority to us 'Baby-Boomers,' most of us already well into our fifties.

It does not speak well of humankind in the 21st Century that our elderly find murder/suicide to be a better choice than life.

We stand at a crossroads, a place where the elderly will soon be US. We are only now beginning to understand the secret of this life. Looking back we know it really doesn't take much time, and the old folks were right,

"From the cradle to the grave, it's a fast ride."

On April 13, 2005, an elderly couple carried out a murder/suicide pact on a sunny California day. Though the actions of the old couple carried no harmful intent towards others, their act leaves a stain upon all of humankind just the same.

When faced with "The Choice" they chose death over life.

I leave you with this thought:

What we do to our elderly today our children will do to us tomorrow.

I Heard God Whisper My Name

I was a baby yesterday
Nursing at my mother's breast.
Soft and warm
I knew no harm.

I was a child yesterday
I ran. I played.
I laughed. I loved.
I cried.
I fell.
I got back up.

I was a young woman yesterday.
Like most young women
I fell in love.
Got married.
Had a family.
Babies at my breast.

I was middle-aged yesterday.
I had grown children.
Grandchildren, great grandchildren too,
Had come my way.

I was an old woman yesterday.
My health failing.
I am in the way.
A burden to those I raised
I was placed in a 'Care-Home,'
Left to wither and fade away.

I died today.
I heard God whisper my name.
And loneliness finally let go of my hand.

Author's Note

The elderly couple in question left their home neet and tidy. Their bills were all brought up to date. Everything was arranged in an attempt to ease the pain for those they left behind. They saw themselves and their old dog facing a time, which for them was soon approaching, when they would not be able to be together. Still, I am deeply saddened by their choice.