HA HA HA!

What a strange dream I had a couple of days ago

No, not a dream

A Nightmare

A girl of 16 having a nightmare about a clown 

Now take into granted I have never had a phobia of clowns, never

But that clown was a monster.

A two-headed centipede

Both heads looking identical 

Solid black eyes with white pupils

Smiles covered in blood

Lips cracked from needle like teeth

Rows upon rows of teeth

Powdered smudged white faces

I woke up but my eyes were still closed

Too scared to open them

Just in case my nightmare was real

Hopeful not 

because....

My eyes are still closed 

Reviews

[Mel Jayne]

Very in depth look into the fears of a teenage girl. Even though it is a story you might want to consider classing this as a poem as it does not follow the usual or grammatical rules when it comes to story telling. I, personally, would try adding a tad more detail into the description.
I think that the end sentence is a powerful way of ending the story but I think that the because... takes away a lot of that power. I also think that there might be a better suspenseful way of ending this piece. I just think it took me out of the realism as it seemed like one of those found documents that could be a way of telling a horror story but it's just not realistic for a person to write with their eyes closed. A way in which you could end this piece could be something like "I haven't closed my eyes since" as this implies that they would recall the image every time that they close their eyes which is much more alike instances of actual trauma.

[Manasa.L]

Very well written about the nightmares of a teenage girl. This was really frightening and a very good story you had there.

[Sammie Sanchez]

thanks, true story though. i had that nightmare about a week ago

[Manasa.L]

Oh is it? you must be very frightened then

[Sammie Sanchez]

i was for like two days XD but im chill now

[Manasa.L]

Good to know

[apennylate]

Scary stuff... Amazing image painted in terrible ways... Ha...Ha....Ha... Frighteningly penned......

[CMC]

I think this was a very in depth look at fear and nightmares through something as simple as a clown, and I definitely like how you finished it with something so open ended that leaves it to the reader to imagine.

[Jeremiah]

That's absolutely terrifying, because the thing that tears me apart is not knowing if something is there. When I was 9 I used to wait for long amounts of times just until my parents were around to make me feel safe. It was an extreme phobia of mine to have something there when I couldn't see it. And I think you accomplished what you wanted to with the amount you wrote. I liked it.

[Cœur]

Very good story. You see, my mom loves clowns, absolutely adores them, and she thinks I'm weird for not liking them. This is something I need to have her read. Nicely done, very good details and descriptive wording.