Mirrors in mirrors

A human spies its own reflection, it's lying right there in the mirror. Behind those doe eyes moves a cold slither,Innocence painted over a complex moving mass.

Perhaps the seeing of oneself is too much a mock meeting, pushing more out then you ever would normally, excessive tenderness and an eye for conformity. But keep walking.

Stand close to the seeing of the breath, where worlds solid, shiney are melded and well met. You control all the levers, switches. But behind those doe eyes moves a cold slither, innocence or strength painted on a moving mass thick,by years growing
bigger, not richer.
All to often perfection smiles down from every angle, only anger is recycled from it,flame like passion from the ancient dark lit.

Deep in the valleys and crags now, closer, two oceans,planets, galaxy's ,one abyss. Your inside but, only pull the switches, there's another present, it's elusive and delicate, it's ancient and from a place before fear, before fate claimed its half of the plate.

Organic communication has lost it's place at the table true, but even now a text based berate is preferable to an avalanche of angered Iris's. a laugh out loud's likeness is not computable nor comparable, to rising chests and slapped backs.

Perhaps this human is not designed to see itself, these reactions were built on a pack mentality. Social survival within its causality.

Author's Note

Tried my hand at prose poetry, was it a success? I keep changing it so probably not :).
Come all you experts! Give us a tip!

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Hi Samuel,

This is an interesting poem with the poet examining the many layers of one's reflection, and the reflection looking back--mirrors within mirrors. And it is a study of how difficult it is to really know ones' self and how we have further distanced ourselves from each other with our growing, non-personal way of communicating with each other. All-in-all, it is a very nice piece.

But in short, do you succeed with this piece? Yes, basically, I think you do.

Best regards, and I greatly enjoyed this piece.

Rick

[Samuel Jack]

An excellant review thank you, all your points are spot on.

[Vria P Crow]

Hello there again, Sam!

OH NO PROSE POETRY! To be honest, I a bit biased against it. However, that is a bit hypocritical of me because I write them myself.

UNDER THE MAGNIFYING GLASS

"A human spies its own reflection"

Humans are the mutations of God. We are closet Narcissists. We stare into our

r e f l e c t i o n of p e r f e c t i o n.
m
p
e
r
f
e
c
t
i
o
n

"Behind those doe eyes"

This is an emergence of the h o r r o r of the "Black Swan." If you stare into the mirror for a long period of time, you will begin to pinpoint what you believe to be flaws.

"mock meeting"

I am a Raven mock her

i
n
g

you like mocking bird.

"conformity"

= control

converged into nonconformity = freedom

"human is not designed to see itself"

Damn right! Therefore, a blind man s e e s more.

THE GENTLE CRITIC

I was found and not found of the Biological references to c r e a t i o n and e v o l u t i o n. However, I can understand where you were going with that. This reminds me of my poem, "Our Lost Eden," that I will be posting tonight.

Nice work, my friend!

You have a talent of a w o r d s m i t h.

signed,
the mad Benthil,
Mistress Ayra Luccan



SUGGESTIONS

1. Put it into a Poem rather then prose since it breaks it up where you want the emphasis.
2. Organize it into a short story.
3. Keep it how it is.

[DCT ponderings]

This poem made me think of a hall of mirrors, the myriad of ever changing reflections. Catching glimpses of what defines us binds us and curses us, our light and our dark shadows. Like a Kaleidoscope being turned. The more and more we seek to know our inner workings the further we have to delve to see who we are. I believe the process of growth and evolution is constant.

I loved how you used repetition in the poem but with each return you expanded the theme a little more. I think you could have put in even a few more of these. Great write!

[Samuel Jack]

Thank you, i was worried the repitition would look lazy. Im still lookin at some big changes to this poem, but im very happy with it.

[DCT ponderings]

I liked the repetition but I'm only one writer. It increased the sense of shifting reflections for me.

[Rita L. Sev]

There's a lot going on in this piece, Samuel. I think you are implying the "other self", the soul that we may see in the mirror, if we are willing to see.

Some wording here is wonderful: Stand close to the seeing of the breath, where worlds solid, shiney are melded and well met; Deep in the valleys and crags now, closer, two oceans,planets, galaxy's, one abyss; Organic communication has lost it's place at the table true...

Phrases like these are truly poetic.

[Samuel Jack]

Thank you, it's a lot of my funny little notions on the subconscious.
Oh wow, truly poetic, thank you.

[Aethereal]

You seem to be talking about non-verbal cues here. More and more we tend to ignore natural hints given out through body language as we depend much more on words when communicating with each other. Books have been written on body language. Bees communicate with a sun dance, birds communicate with a dance too. Dogs know our body language better than we do.

[Samuel Jack]

That's a big part of it, but I'm also hinting at some of my beliefs, that in fact there are other things living in our skulls, not completely under our control. Our mindscapes are so huge, almost galaxy's within us, I believe we are gestalt organisms, if you think of a cell as a single organism then we are made of millions of creatures. They speak through one conciseness but maybe there s more than one voice within.

[Aethereal]

Yes, our subconscious mind pulls all the strings on our conscious mind. Very few people understand how they are at the mercy of that puppeteer, the subconscious mind.

[Leslie Philibert]

a rich, enigmatic write, full of energy from a poet I will certainly look at in the future..

[Samuel Jack]

Thank you very much! I'll check out your stuff now.

[ANTO]

Ive never heard of prose poetry so I can't say much about the form and that but there are some gems in there defo:
"..moves a cold slither,Innocence painted over a complex moving mass.." - this is amazing Samuel... and this -
"Organic communication has lost it's place at the table true, but even now a text based berate is preferable to an avalanche of angered Iris's. a laugh out loud's likeness is not computable nor comparable, to rising chests and slapped backs." - It does seem that humankind is doomed to move backwards communication-wise, I agree but this is very well put.

Keep on coming on mate.

[Samuel Jack]

Prose poetry from wat I can't tell s just a longer rambling form. There's got to be better definition but I just think of it as the opposite to the Japanese forms. You should try one. I'm not even sure if this is prose poetry, I just tried to stretch out the sentiment, if you know what I mean?
Cheers for the review

[ANTO]

lol - if theres one thing I can do its ramble. Love the way you always try new things Samuel.

[Samuel Jack]

It's all just poetry. Maybe it's my Bruce lee mentality coming through. Sifting through till I find what works for me, perhaps a different form for different situations (subject matter). I'll settle eventually, but in the mean time it's good to push and pull my thoughts in different directions, my own reactions to things surprise me sometimes. A bit like what I'm talking about in this prose poem, you never fully know what's goin on in your own head.

[ANTO]

Now thats weird. I was channeling Bruce Lee this morning in response to a problem my brother is having and Lee's words came to mind (paraphrasing) "use karate on the boxer and boxing on the judo guy" - well you know what I mean - same vein, using different things for different situations to surprise the opponent and that.
Great minds eh Samuel

[Samuel Jack]

It all sounds very Belfast! Blood feuds and what have you lol
I've found from studying street fights and from my training that simple works best every time. You should be able to get out of any scenario with a simple toolset.

[ANTO]

Yes well for me I honed my running skills to avoid all that when i was his age - couldn't run much now though - be too much like Simon Pegg in "Run fat Boy, Run!" ;)