The seeds were set

The seeds were set

A Poem by Samuel Jack

The seeds were set.
Put a-shaking in the ground

Success was not certain
an effect often found

Many different outcomes
Stunted or full growth

transferring will power
amounts to sullen hope

The wanting is what drives it
But doesn't make it so

Up your tools
Ignore the fools
Carve a path right true

The wanting is what drives it

But it comes down to what you do

© 2013 Samuel Jack


Author's Note

Samuel Jack
Any improvements welcome

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Reviews

It's a multifaceted poem.....simplistic & Charming...
"Many different outcomes
Stunted or full growth

transferring will power
amounts to sullen hope "
this was the turning point for me...I could have given a different ending though yours is admirable too..


Posted 11 Years Ago


Samuel Jack

11 Years Ago

Thank you, it was fun to write.
This piece allows me to visualize the whole actions surrounding the sowing of seed.
I quickly remembered the old saying,"As you sow,so you will reap".
Love the whole piece with its wonderful message.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Samuel Jack

11 Years Ago

Thank you Zainul, thats what I wanted to convey, great review.
zainul

11 Years Ago

You are most welcome,Samuel.:)
I feel very glad to know your intention.:)
I liked it, it flows really good. Nicely done.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Samuel Jack

11 Years Ago

Thanks, I tried to use meter for this one, I don't always and I know it doesn't make a poem alone, b.. read more
Zahra

11 Years Ago

You did it really well.
I really like this - the sense of wanting; while there are no guarantees, nothing will grow without that initial desire. Well penned!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Samuel Jack

11 Years Ago

Thank you Rita! I'm always double glad when you're happy with a piece, it's like an A+ from a teache.. read more
Rita L. Sev

11 Years Ago

:)
I quite enjoyed this piece. You have a distinct idea/concept and you followed that throughout the entire piece; ending with a stellar message.

The wanting is what drives it
But it comes down to what you do --My favorite lines--though from a technical standpoint, I would group them into a couplet instead of individual lines to keep the flow a little more structured.

Overall, the imagery was great, the metaphor was strong and the concept was fantastic. I truly enjoyed this read!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Samuel Jack

11 Years Ago

Gracias! I think I will take your advice on the last line, it does slow that last bit down. Your a t.. read more

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191 Views
5 Reviews
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on June 10, 2013
Last Updated on June 10, 2013

Author

Samuel Jack
Samuel Jack

Birmingham, West Midlands, United Kingdom



About
I'm from the industrial wasteland that is England, I'm very passionate about poetry, while not being very educated on the subject. So constructive criticism is more than welcome. I like poetry, for.. more..

Writing