Accepting silence

About a person who needs constant music to drown out his thoughts

He can't accept the silence
It unearths monstrous emotional titans

He can hear them jeering,threatening to loom
Their only part of his mind but they fill the whole room

Ghastly and huge, dripping with debris
Long buried thoughts never meant to be released
Held captive by loudness, drowned and sunk deep

You can almost hear them moaning
As He rearranges His features

If you only conversed with them,
you would know they are your creatures

But where he goes noise follows
Electrics blaring on
And the titans of his mind
That he believes hidden and difficult to rise
Grow steadily strong

Unchecked they will break their vessel
And burst free from his eyes

Reviews

[Mariya]

"If you only conversed with them,
you would know they are your creatures"

Akh, personal monsters, they follow you like flies buzzing around a gangrene. Silence can be an ally or a foe, so does noise. An music? Well it's just a cover up so why not face "your creatures" and enjoy life.

[Samuel Jack]

Exactly! Oo Maganda, lol worst Filipino ever. I'll try some more on each review.

[Mariya]

Kudos for the effort. :) Nice choice of words btw.

[Zahra]

This is really good, nice style. Silence makes us close to our inner reality and when some people can't make peace with it, they try to escape in noise. very well written.

[Samuel Jack]

Thank you, I would love for you to take a look at some of my other stuff, only because I feel we have similar observations on our species

[Zahra]

I'll definitely view more of your work, send read requests if you want me to read some particular piece.

[chicagogirlonce]

Long buried thoughts--can totally relate to that line as I do not remember traumatic years of my life-thank you for this sharing--love that phrase:dripping with debris---makes me see the septic thought and memory trapped inside----magnifico,Samuel

[JenniferMarie]

I know the feeling of trying forget, supress thoughts. I like this poem.

They are only part of his mind but they fill the whole room.

I'd say this was the line I really hung onto.

You ended with a cool image.

Well done.

[Samuel Jack]

Thank you, it seems everyone has their favourite lines, it's interesting how people can see vastly different things in poems or pick a certain line out. It's quite psychological really, like the Rorschach test or something.

[JenniferMarie]

right? I agree. It's interesting. You had wonderful lines, lines that were more descriptive even, but this one was powerful to me. I guess I related.

[JenniferMarie]

i meant that one was ..

[Traci]

This was beautifully written, and brought forth so many different images to find. I know many who cannot be surrounded by silence, a radio, tv, etc. must be on at all times. Makes me wonder if they are trying to ignore their own thoughts or just like noise in general. Also made me think about those with medical conditions. These lines stood out to me the most....

You can almost hear them moaning
As He rearranges His features

If you only conversed with them,
you would know they are your creatures

Well done.

[Samuel Jack]

Thank you very much, great review!

[Traci]

My pleasure. Definitely looking forward to reading more of your work :)

[Rita L. Sev]

Silence is an enemy to those who wish to ignore their thoughts - this is a thoughtful piece, good rhyme, well done!

[Samuel Jack]

Thanks Rita, I was worried that the meter was off in sections, but if it passes your test it must be ok.
Domo arigoto Sensei des

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Splendid read and write. Have met few who do not enjoy silence.

[Samuel Jack]

Thank you

[Sirius King]

this is powerful,
the thought of not being able to control
or turn down
whats going on in your head
is a scary one

you've captured that perfectly with this write

[Samuel Jack]

Gracias!

[DCT ponderings]

This brought so many different images to mind. The voices that travel in a schizophrenic's head, the communication from one's subconscious, my own father's discomfort (social anxiety) in the silent pauses of conversation, and finally a friend I know who always has the radio on in every room in her house never wanting to fee alone.

[Samuel Jack]

Djen Koya!

[DCT ponderings]

??? do tell.....

[Samuel Jack]

Thank you in polish, I had to say thanks to three people in a row, so I thought each person deserved a different slice of Earth

[DCT ponderings]

j'adore mon ami

[Aethereal]

This is a psychological poem. It inspired me to write this tiny poem for you which you may keep as your own: Each line is in seven syllables all in meter with mono-rhyme:

Monsters

All the monsters we ignore
bang upon our brain's back door
turning us to mush and gore
with their claws, their teeth, their roar.

[Samuel Jack]

Awesome thanks, that's better than my poem!

[Aethereal]

If your knew more about rhyme and meter, and used an online rhyming dictionary it's quite possible that you could have done as well. Start with small poems, and then build into larger more complex ones. Describe complex things in simple terms. This small poem is the same as an entire book on psychology.

[Samuel Jack]

Will do!

[Aethereal]

Always try to use exact rhymes, and never force a rhyme. Try to develop a cadence that runs through your entire poem. Good luck!

[Samuel Jack]

Domo arigoto Sensei

[Aethereal]

I'm happy to see that you're catching on to my methodology, my poetic modus operandi.

[Bare trees]

The subconscious is always there to remind, to nag, and to nudge with reminders. Well done.

[Samuel Jack]

Thank you. It's about my brother in law, the guy has always got sone electronic device blasting tunes, usually his phone, but as you see in the poem I see through his actions to the real meat of the matter :) you got any more works planned?

[Bare trees]

You're welcome. I never know when my next poem will arise. They just happen.

[Samuel Jack]

YES, that's how it happens, they just jump me now, sometimes mid conversation, and I've gotta scribble it or put it on the iPad, about 90% of my poems were written in 10 minutes, cause when you gotta flow, you gotta flow! Take a thought and stretch it out

[Bare trees]

It usually takes me longer than 10 minutes these days.

[Samuel Jack]

I'm slowing down now people keep giving me all these techniques like meter. I'm loving it though, it's all making me a greater poet

[Bare trees]

I've studied the techniques and elements of poetry but they didn't always help me and most people never noticed or cared. I could have been at fault though.

BTW, if you sent me a friends request I can't accept them, the icon doesn't work.

[Samuel Jack]

I'll just subscribe to your stuff dude

[Bare trees]

My thanks.