Life

A longer story than I usually write, but I feel really passionate about it. If you find anything that I can fix please tell me in the comments.

I stand in front of the crowd, a deck of cards in hand. I pull a card from the top of the stack and flick it towards the nearby pickup truck. The card sails through the air twisting, turning, swirling gracefully in the air like a  dancer. A second after it leaves my hand it speeds through the slit in the window. My family claps. I throw another, this one catches in the opening of the window. I release a third, it flicks up and lands under the windshield wiper, a perfect throw.

My grandpa steps up next to me, “Good job that was a pretty good showing of skill, you might just win this year.”

“Thanks!” I shake his hand vigorously. “I’ll go pick up my cards.”

I walk over to the truck to gather my cards. I reach for the one on the roof and-

“Bleep! Bleep! Bleep!”

I jump back at the sound of the car alarm. My foot slips on something. I flip around and smash to the ground on my back. The crowd roars in laughter. I stumble to  my feet just to see my grandpa slip his keys into his pocket. I turn and run away into a void, face red, with tears in my eyes.

I sit straight up in bed, cold sweat drenching my clamming figure. I look over at my bedside clock, it reads 5:55 am, time to go to school. I trudge over to my closet to get dressed.

I’ve been having that dream for a while now, it was about my family’s yearly camping talent show. Usually, I’m fine with being laughed at but that time it really got to me, and that's how it had been staying. Anything hurtful someone said to me I would laugh off but now it’s starting to cut deep and I feel like it’s getting worse every day. But who cares I’m sure I feel better today. Though I’m pretty sure I’m wrong.

* * *

I step off the bus bracing myself  for another day in hell. I start walking towards the wall, my overstuffed bag weighing me down. My “friend” Adam walks up next to me.

“Hey, how’s it going.” He lifts his hand. I flinch expecting a slap. “Oh jeez, ya wimp. It was only a high-five.” He pushes me, I stumble forward, my notes fly out of my bag. A few kids snicker as I pick up my papers. Clutching my stuff, I trudge over to the wall.

A few minutes later my favorite person in the world, Julia, gets off her bus, “Hey, how’s it going?” She asks, sitting down next to me.

“Fine,” I mumble.

She touches my hand, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothings wrong, I’m fine,” I straighten myself and fake a smile, “What’s up with you?”

“Oh, come on. I know that look, what happened.”

I slump down, my smile dissipating, “It’s nothing… I don’t really want to talk about it.”

She squeezes my hand, “This is been happening more and more, after school, 5:30 meet me at Gibbous Park.”

“Bong! Bong! Bong!”

She stands up, “Ok, see you later.” She walks briskly to her homeroom.

I sigh and grab my stuff.

Homeroom was pretty uneventful. I sat in the back of the room as usual. Someone threw a crumpled up paper at me, but that's to be expected.

Period 1

Spanish

I walk into Spanish and take my seat next to a boy named Will.

“Hey,” He throws a small bit of paper at me.

I pick up the paper, “Could you stop that?” I mumble.

“Ah, come on I’m just joking,” he throws another.

I sigh staring blankly at the wall, a third paper hits me, I close my eyes and suffer through the class.

Period 2

Gym

I quickly change for gym enduring the people mocking my poor figure. I push past them and into the gym. Today we were running the 220 m. I’m glad for this, I’m actually pretty good at running, well most of the time. I hurry to finish the warm ups.

After the warm ups, we hurry down to the field. I was paired with Justin Hopkins, he’s a huge guy and is a notorious bully, just my luck that I would be running with him.

I walk over to the starting line, Justin next to me. Coach stands 220 meters down the field.

He starts a countdown, “Three… Two… One…” His hand shoots up.

I sprint towards him, I had taken four steps when I felt something hit my leg. I tumble to the ground, Justin next to me writhing in unbelievably fake pain.

Coach dashes down to us, “Are okay Justin?”

He looks up at coach, “No, my leg really hurts bad.” He winces for effect.

Coach calls for another teacher, “You help Justin to the nurse, and I’ll deal with this,” he gestures towards me. “What were you thinking!? How dare you trip another student.”

I raise my hand sheepishly, “But coach I think he tried to tr-”

“Are you saying  that I’m wrong!?” A vein bulges on his neck.

“No sir I just think that-”

“Okay, that's it go to Ms. Yemima!”

I gasp, “You’re giving me I.S.S?”

“Yeah your right now get your a*s down there before I get mad.”

I walk to Ms. Yemima’s room where I sit for second and third period.

Period 4

ElA

I rush to Mrs. Nermin’s room hopefully Ms. Yemima told her that I got a share but since she spent both periods asleep she probably didn’t even know I was there. I step into the room right as the bell rings.

I feel a tap on my shoulder, I turn around and come face to face with Mrs. Nermin, “And where exactly were you.” she queries.

“I was in I.S.S.”

“Oh yeah, and why was I not informed of this.”

“I don’t know, I think Ms. Yemima was asleep.”

“Oh yes sure so convenient, and if I call her she’ll tell me that she was asleep.”

“Probably.”

She walks over to the phone, and after a brief conversation she turns back to me, “She said that she was awake the whole day and that she didn’t see you there. I’m reporting this.”

I trudge to my desk, sometimes I feel like the teachers actually plan to harass me.

About 40 minutes later I was working with my partner Jane when she turned to me and out of the blue said, “You know your face kind of reminds me of a pile of dog s**t.”

I stare at her bewildered, “Um… what?”

“Your face looks like a pile of crap.” She says matter-of-factly.

“Oh…” I choke up. “Okay.”

Period 5

Pre-Algebra

Pre-Algebra is nothing special. I got pushed around a bit by Randall and Grey, the two smartest kids in class. Not only that but they’re good looking and they both play lacrosse really well. (I might be a bit envious, but not that much.)

Lunch

At lunch I trudge over to my lunch table, I’m the only one there… no one else would sit with me.

After I got my lunch, I was walking to my table when suddenly I’m flat on the ground, lunch on the floor.

I hear a voice behind me, “Oh jeez man, I’m so sorry.” It was Adam, he had stuck his foot out into my path.

I stand up, “It’s fine,” I say, as I go and get a second lunch.

“You don’t have enough money in your account,” a raspy-voiced lunch lady says to me.

I look at her blankly, “It’s fine, I don’t need food.”

I walk away, the lunch lady looks up at me, “Hey, kid you can have a sandwich if you…”

But I was already gone.

Period 6

Social Studies

I shuffle into the room and take my seat.

Mr. Milburn strides into the room to start the lesson. He turns on the projector and starts, “By every known law of aviation, the bee should not be able to fly. Its tiny wings are in fact too small to lift it’s massive butt off the ground. But the bee, of course, flies anyway, because the tiny bee just doesn’t care what humans think is possible or impossible, so it flies. And this is exactly what happened to the American…”

His voice fades into the background, I stare out the window. I think of all the things that happened to me today… “Why would they do that to me? I didn’t do anything… did I?” I rack my brain, trying to think of what I could have done, it hits me, “The only thing I could have done was exist.” I choke on my own heart, as it bursts out of my throat. I cover my mouth, my hand shoots into the air.

Mr. Milburn points to me, “Yes?”

“Mr. Milburn, can I go to the bathroom?”

Seeing nausea on my face he quickly agrees.

“Thanks.” I manage before bolting out of the room. I get to the toilet just in time. I throw up into the porcelain bowl, I wait a few seconds and again another pile of vomit appears in the john. Then the tears come, they pour out of my eyes wetting the floor. I try to stop myself, but the emotions were overwhelming.

“Why do they hate me for being me, it’s not like I asked to be this way, my journey through space on this rocky planet wasn’t my choice, my parents signed me up without asking. I’ve heard people say that you only have a limited time on this Earth, so try to enjoy it, but… but how can I enjoy something this messed up, this present that was rigged to explode in my face, this act, this hell. Sometimes it’s better not to wait for your time to come but to hurry it along, for if no one cares about me… why would anyone miss me”

I sit there shaking for what seemed like hours lamenting, when I hear a knock on my stall door, “Hey are you in there? Mr. Milburn is getting worried.” A moment of silence. “Are you okay?” It was Grey.

I blush as I jump to my feet, wiping away tears, “Oh, I'm fine… How are you?” I say this in a casual, laid-back voice, but there was still a slight tremble to my words.

“Oh… I’m doing fine, but you should probably get back to class. The periods about to end.”

“Okay.”

I unlock the stall and rush past him, still blushing a bit, but I was still worried, worried that someone could tell I was crying.

Period 7

Science

I shuffle into science, trying not to get noticed, and take a seat next my only friend (except for Julia of course, but I think that she’s in another category) Emery Hughes. We met in the fifth grade and we have been friends ever since. She can be pretty nice, but every so often you’ll get her on a bad day, which happens quite often, you better hope she’s not mad at you or you might not be too happy. Unlucky for me this was one of her bad days and it turned out she was mad at me.

She turns to look at me, “So yesterday you didn’t answer my Facetime.”

I put down my pencil, “Yeah, sorry I was out of the house.”

“Ok, then explain why you were texting Julia at the around the same time that I tried calling you.”

I start to sweat, “Um, well I wasn’t having the best day so… I didn’t really want to talk to you.”

“Oh, okay that makes sense, but if you didn’t want to talk to anyone then why were you talking with Julia.”

My stomach tightens, “Ok well you see, in my eyes Julia is… I don’t know she’s just, well she just seems to care about me a bit more than you. You just don’t seem as understanding.”

Her eyes catch fire, “So you’re saying that I’m not as important as her!”

This comment catches me off guard, “well, no... I mean you’re just not as… how do I put this, you’re still my friend but I think she holds a bit over you.”

And with that, she explodes, “Oh ok if you don’t care about me then consider this friendship over.”  

I stare at her bewildered, “No wait, Emery don’t…” I hold out my hand towards her but quickly draw it back as I notice several eyes trailing Emery and me. I stiffly turn back to my work, tears at the brink of my lids.

After School

Theater Rehearsal

I sigh in relief as soon as I step into the auditorium. Theater is my favorite thing, of course, I don’t have enough skill to be an actor, I’m just a humble light guy. It might sound pretty boring but it’s actually quite fun, I get to hold the spotlight and shine it at people. Well, that’s depressing.

“Hey, how’s it going.” My head shoots up, expecting that they’re talking to me but of course they’re not. It’s just Emery and my ex-girlfriend, Wendy Attwater. I don’t mean to but I listen in on their conversation.

Emery walks up to Wendy, “Oh my god, do you know what he said to me in seventh period?” she points to me.

Wendy clasps her hands together, “No, What?”

“He said,” Emery whispers something into her ear.

Wendy gasps, hand over her mouth, taken aback, “No, way, he did not say that.”

“Yeah, he did.” Emery nods, arms crossed.

“Oh, he needs to pay.” Wendy walks towards me.

I quickly act like I’m doing something, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I look up, pain explodes on the side of my head. Wendy’s hand strikes again this time on the other side. Another wave of pain, this one closer to my ear. I stagger backwards, clutching my ear, I feel a warm liquid on my hand.

“You dick.” And with that, she turns and walks away.

I dizzily walk towards and hear Emery say, “I bet he’s going to cry, Grey told me he was crying in sixth period.” They both giggle as I push through the door.

* * *

I fall against a sink, blood dripping from my ear. I get a nauseous feeling but I quickly swallow it down. Luckily the cut in my ear had been a shallow one so I could get back to class and receive the bad news.

“We just don’t need you until November, you’re just kind of useless right now.” Ms. Chancellor informs me, “So tomorrow, please don’t come.”

“Ok, that's fine.” I say blankly, “I have other things to do.”

She smiles and gives a small clap, “Well I’m glad you understand, you should get to the bus.”

I walk to the bus my much to stuffed bag weighing me down, but today it was different, because at 5:30 I was going to hang out with Julia.

Gibbous Park

5:30

I was sitting in the park with Julia when she suddenly asked me the question I had been fearing all day.

“So what’s wrong?”

I look at her and as truthfully as I can I say, “Nothing, I’m fine.” That was a mistake.

She looked at me, baffled, “Do you think I’m an idiot.”

My heart lurches, “What?! No, it really is nothing.” I reach for her hand, but she pulls it away from me, a disgusted look on her face.

“You know I’m trying to keep this relationship together, but you just constantly throw curveballs at me, and as much as I hate to say it I think that if you don’t care enough about me to tell me the truth then I don’t think we should be together at all. So as of now, you can consider this relationship over.” She stands up and leaves in a huff.

I stand up and wander into the forest my mind reeling. I walk down the dirt path, the one I have walked so many times before. This path would bring me happiness, I would listen to the birds singing and smell the aromatic flora. I would wonder at the sweeping willows and the mighty oaks, I would run my hands through the streams. I would lie down in the soft grass of a nearby clearing, staring at the sky wishing that one day I would grow wings and fly through the air, enjoying the freedom.

But that was years ago, now I feel burdened with all of the sorrows of life. I raise my head and look to the heavens wishing again I could reach them. But I know I never could, not while I was shackled to the miserable, watery rock. But I do know one way.

I stumble down the path, thoughts rushing through my head. I continued to replay the breakup in my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about Julia snapping her hand away from me as if I was a snake. And the look on her face shocked me, “I just can’t understand why she hates me, the only person that ever truly cared about me hates me,” My eyes well up, “She thinks I’m repulsive,” Tears stream down my cheeks, “She would have me put to death. She hates me, but I love her. I would do anything for her.”

My foot slips on something and I trip off the trail. Tumbling down a hill to the empty riverbed. I groggily pick myself up just to see some vines hanging off a tree. I remember my thoughts, “...I love her. I would do anything for her… She would have me put to death… anything for her… death.”

I climb up the hill and reach for a nearby branch. “This is crazy.”  I thought, “I couldn’t actually go through with this.”

But despite my awareness, I continue to climb, higher and higher, until I’m standing next to a vine hanging like a swing ten feet above the ground.

I look to the sky, tears falling from my face, “I’m sorry everyone… I’m sorry for existing.” I start to twist the vine, so there’s a small hole at the bottom, “I’m sorry for that… but now I’m going to repay you, after this, you won’t have to deal with this abomination anymore.” I tighten the knot and stuck my head through the hole, “And most of all, I’m sorry Julia, for I couldn’t keep you content. What I’m doing right now is a punishment and a relief for me, and for you... well, I’m doing this because this is what you want.” I shed a single tear, before falling backwards, to my freedom.

I only fell about a foot. And while I was hanging there my vision slowly fading, I wasn’t afraid, I didn’t immediately regret my actions and try to climb back up. No, I sat there patiently, waiting. I could feel myself dying and it hurt so, so much. But the knowledge that in only a few short minutes, I would be free, and I would finally sprout wings and fly into the heavens, that knowledge kept me hanging. I could barely see anything, only a pin prick of light in a sea of darkness, a small, lonely boat getting pounded by the ocean. And after a few seconds, even that boat sank. And I smile as I drift off into eternal slumber.

The vine leaves my neck and I fall to the ground. A pair of hands grip my shoulders, shaking me awake. A familiar voice calls to me, from what seem like miles away, “Come on wake up, oh for god’s sake please wake up.”

My vision starts to come back, slowly. I get a glance at my savior, someone who must truly care for. Yes, I can see them yeah it’s…

THE END

Author's Note

Disclaimer:
Warning: Slight Use of Inappropriate Language!
This story is a work of realistic fiction, though it isn’t real, many of the events in this story did at one point or another happen to me. Though in this story it’s exaggerated to an unbelievable extent, so don’t flip out thinking this was me. Any characters in this story will have ties to people in real life I have changed the names for privacy, but just know that any relation to a person, living or dead is not purely a coincidence, I very much meant it to relate to a person, but there may have been tweaked or outright changed to fit the story. I thank you and enjoy the read.