Heart/Heart

Two hearts inside me,

One made of feathers and one made of steel,

Both wander free,

One of them is fake and one of them is real.

 

Why can’t I feel your touch?

Is it because my heart is moonstruck?

Why do I feel too much?

Perhaps I’m simply thunderstruck.

 

One heart says go,

The other says stay.

Why can’t they both just go away?

It would be so perfect,

It would be unfair.

Why must I always be so aware?

 

I wish I knew,

Which one was true.

Reviews

[KTizzle]

The second stanza seems a bit forced and I didn't really like this line, "Is it because my heart is moonstruck?" I'm not understanding why you wouldn't be able to feel a touch if you're so moonstruck. Maybe I am misunderstanding. I can sort of accept the thunderstruck line because it goes with the previous line.

Otherwise, I am in love with the first stanza and the third and fourth stanza. Okay, I'm in love with the rest of it basically. One heart is flighty and whimsical and optimistic while the other is realistic and stubborn. It's a lot like the battle between the heart and the mind. The mind is like steel while the heart is like feathers.

Good job.

Thanks for posting!

[PortraitsOfTheHeart]

So in regards to the second stanza; a lot of this poem is about depression. The first line in that stanza is referring to the one part of me which feels numb to the world around me. The next half of the stanza is referring to the other part of me which feels to much and can't stop. Its a contradiction in myself which I struggle with a lot. Hope that helps!

[KTizzle]

Ohhh whoops! I did misunderstand! Now it makes sense.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

This is cool work here! The dilemma you present is too relatable.. Good job!

[Cerebriation]

Is your line spacing deliberate? Either way the flow and rhyme is pretty flawless. There's something satisfying about reading lines in perfect meter. It makes an idea easier to focus on. Awesome work!!!

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Loved this! Each stanza has it's uniqueness to it. Great imagery as well as feeling. Really great write, keep it up!