My Guru

When I first acquired Shiv, or she acquired me, who can tell? She would persistently run away from me. She even once jumped out of the car window when I was driving. It was like she had no trust in me and did not want to be around me. She ran constantly and I would run after her yelling "shiv, come here!!!" until I finally caught up with her, put her on the leash and made her come with me, but she would always end up excaping down the line and I would have to chase her again. One day, I took some shrooms and I was holed up in my room at the farmhouse going crazy within side myself, the trip started to ease up off of its crazy, and I felt bad for shiv so I took her outside and she escaped and started running off into the plowed corn fields. She was not moving to fast, so I just decided to follow her quietly for a while. We got pretty deep into the field, so then I stopped. I said to shiv "ok, now you follow me..." I silently turned around and started walking the other way, shiv turned around and started to follow. Ever since we have been best buds.

I only now, after 10 years started to understamd her teaching. She would constantly run from me because I had no direction, no scope, I was just mindlessly self indulging in the nonsense of the universe with no clear vision, she was showing me this by running away, saying, "see, if you are not focusing on your actions right now your mind or your dog will run away with you leading its own adventure taking you along for the ride, until you focus and start leading your path deliberately, and then she will start following you." To this day, if I am not keeping my focus, leading a life deliberately and honestly, my dog will remind me and take me for a ride. She is one of my best and favorite teachers.