This is a really sweet poem. However, I would be careful about the structure and grammatical mistakes because it can keep a reader from fully enjoying the art. I read that you just started writing so keep up the good work and with practice, I'm sure you can fix the minor issues while still producing great work as this one!
I agree with Brittanie. Though beautiful, the structure and grammar errors interrupt the flow of the written work. But again, beautiful and sweet.
Also, didn't you already add this poem under a different title? Maybe I'm wrong, but it sounds quite similar to the other one you sent me...
I could tell you tried to express a very sweet and personal sentiment and you did. Beyond a few errors it was very heart warming. Keep up the good work!
This is utterly bittersweet, sam... Bringing to mind the images of lovers twined together in bed. Relishing in the little things, those soft, stolen moments shared between two. The glory of those moments. So irreplaceable. Touched with a sense of divinity, with awe and wonder, with simple gratitude and love for another's mere existence. This is romance at its finest.:) When a person can slow down enough, at just the right moment, to be able to measure the distance between bodies in one single desire to close the gap with goodnight kisses. A lovely piece.
This is a really sweet poem. However, I would be careful about the structure and grammatical mistakes because it can keep a reader from fully enjoying the art. I read that you just started writing so keep up the good work and with practice, I'm sure you can fix the minor issues while still producing great work as this one!
This is so sweet, Sam! It's such an adoring and loving poem. Be wary of awkward phrasing and grammar, though. Regardless, I really enjoyed this piece! You're becoming a very talented poet. Thanks for sharing!
I really like your poem.
You did a lovely job expressing deep feelings.
Your poem is sincere, soft, very sweet and romantic.
I have read many of your poems and I can see
the improvement.
Be careful of spelling errors,
leaving small words out or transposing them.
Adding commas and putting periods at the end
of each sentence will help. Example:
I can see you.
how you look so sweet,
we laid by each other's side.
your eye's do smile,
trying to tell me,
the feeling of life.
we do realize the big distance,
between us every time.
This is the reality,
how we both remain
with the truth of life.
When you sleep in full joy of life,
I feel happy beside you in life.
my eyes are in waiting.
I feel you by heart,
in happy moments every time.
Your sleepy eyes
still give me a smile.
How sweet they make you,
I want to thank our God every time.
You are my sweetest,
when you look at me,
It is so nice every time.
Now I am going to sleep,
with you beside my side.
You should promise,
no more than five kisses,
one at a time.
Overall you are doing a great job.
Keep writing.
This is the sweetest and cutest romantic poem...BRAVO Sam...I love it
but i am sure you will receive much more than 5 kisses at one time..
Excellent write..I will favorite it!
I am Chess player, My life always move step with thought of 10 steps ahead every time. Nature is my friend, Keep me smile. I start to write poems without experience of writing, but I can't believe my.. more..