180 degrees of awakening

we learn to live months like this

rooms kept/ unkempt & unused.

hot & cold, luke warm & cool

like a tapeworm. in the morning

I wake up almost violently, a headache

the remnants of an unfinished argument.

but you wake up peacefully   warm

with sex; always gently waking me up -

your grumpy bum

with a hard on.

 

                                    accepting that the day

will stay incomprehensible for

another fifteen minutes, I find

myself learning that

I am so many different types of nakedness

in front of you, even when

just staring at the ceiling.

      about the ceiling, if I stared at it any more

I would be a prostitute-

carefully dodging morning light, which strikes

the k-mart dishes I still haven’t done,

glazing the room like olive oil.

tasting movement around me

i almost look for you   but you are

a shadow/ a second too late

& i am left with the taste of

your breasts in my mouth,

like ripened mangoes

peeling at the lightest touch.

Reviews

[DevilsNeedLove2]

The brilliance of this poem intimidates me almost as much as it moves me. I've had this in my library for days and days, waiting until I had the perfect thing to say. I've come to the conclusion that's never going to happen. I cannot express how amazing I think this is; the only thing I can manage to come up with is: wow.

[Samith Pich]

Thank you for all your wonderful reviews :)

[Elaine]

Hmm.Not sure about the ending.

[Mark]

The concept of so many types of nakedness is really important and I'm glad you introduced it. The whole thing reminds me of my very early twenties and learning about nakedness.

[Tony]

Familiarity, does indeed carry the capacity for contempt.
Excellent poem.

[Raef C. Boylan]

Yikes, I'd forgotten how good at this you are.

"glazing the room like olive oil" - brilliant, I've been searching years for good ways to describe the way light filters through in the morning. Nice one.

I like the murmuring, reflective voice used for this.
Sorry, I'm so f*****g rusty at reviewing, I'm slowly wringing each sentence out of my withered brain haha.

You can tell it's good, because other good poets have reviewed it in envious tones :-D Erm...so there.

Do tapeworms change temperature a lot then? Curious, thanks.

[Emily B]

wondering how you are and what you're up to . . . missing you around here

[Jim W White]

Oh, quality language that drips sensation. It's good: "morning light, which strikes [...] glazing the room like olive oil." Great quality to your description.. "like ripened mangoes/ peeling at the lightest touch".. this writing is so candid and crude it communicates lilted lust & awkward self-awareness very well indeed. There's a longing in there, but the observed scenario & sentiment are narrated in an objective, funny, most human way.. existential. Best line for me: "I am so many different types of nakedness/ in front of you". I like your style Samith.

[Iota]

such a surreal piece of writing. Is it joy or pain waking up like this, but yes it does represent real life. This is an awesome write many parts that I enjoyed but over all the whole surreal awakening was a gem.

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

There are so many phrases here,which are but so innovative and delicious if words could be that.You are so very original in the theme and words that one could almost envy you for it..
& i am left with the taste of

your breasts in my mouth,

like ripened mangoes

peeling at the lightest touch...
this stanza was so good!!!..so not gentle yet so sharp that it is etched on your memory long after you read it..but you wake up peacefully warm

with sex; always gently waking me up -

your grumpy bum

with a hard on....that phrase too..i liked it..

[Jibey]

The images in this piece capture so well the tawdry nature of a relationship somehow epitomised by the k'mart dishes undone... and the fragile skin of the ripe mangoes. A hard on and a grumpy bum... C'est la vie.