Goodbye My Hopless Dream

I wrote this the other day.. i really lyk a guy at school but he is (lyk my title suggests) my hopless dream...

Tears are roling down my checks

As i listen with ears so sad

To every word he speaks

Its my turn to tell

The story behind my many scars

Two hearts broken by love

Hoping to land among the stars

People think we're just outcasts

But they dont now

The hurt we've felt in the past

They think its time we jump

But every road we ride

Will have a simple speedbump

And as i lay here in the darkness

Surrounded by sadness and forgotten love

Its time to say goodbye

Goodbye shadows and scars

Goodbye hope and lovley stars

Goodbye tears and bloody stream

Goodbye my love

Goodbye my hopless dream

 

Reviews

[Patrick Henry]

Cute title. You threw me off with the word "hopless". In the end where you say goodbye, if it never WAS, then there is no need to say goodbye, except for the very thought of this guy. Thoughts come and go. 1,000's do on a daily basis. When you are married or dating in the future and you realize that these are human emotions, wondering if your partner is thinking of another from time to time in certain situations.... that's life. It is life for you now to build up fantasy and actuality as if they were one in the same. YOU seem to have it together in a safe degree, just by writing about it and getting feedback, as if to be coached by those who side with you. That's excellent! You are a beautiful girl with talent. Screw the beauty. Society will mess with that perspective as years roll on. Your talent and heart is what will carry you to your future, and why SOME hearts won't make it!! : ) It's a beautiful and sad poem at the same time. If this boy, who may also do the same self destructive things that YOU might do, sees that you are hurting yourself, he might not feel that his emotions are kept safe with you. It's the same as a mother figure when a guy is small. If the mother beats him, then when he grows to be an older version of himself, he will find it difficult to understand that a lady/girl will have his back and treat HIM as front and center with all those emotions he has. If he thought for a moment that the other girl has no space or time for him in her head for any reason, that wall is built on the wrists of the one who displays it, openly.... Beautiful, Sami.... xoxo -Mark

[xSamilynnx]

thank you so much!!! I don't really know what else to say besides thank you!!!

[Patrick Henry]

Logging back onto this site after some time away was worth it to see that you enjoyed what I wrote for you. : ) I don't edit anything I write, so it is written as it was thought out. You're beautiful and your poem is of perfect consequence to that heart you allowed for me to read inside your lovely poem. xoxox -Mark

[Hiddenfire]

The flow of the poem was nice and I know what it feels like to love someone so much but know that it's gone and done with, and those emotions you go through right then translates clearly through this from start to finish.

[DarkShines]

Lovely piece. Truly heartfelt and strong. Well done