For Roy

everyone writes about love, so i thought i would give it a go too.

I sensed him

before I saw him.

And a rush of pleasure swept through my body

tingling every nerve, hairs standing erect on the back of my neck

which remembered those kisses.

And the sounds he made as he inhaled me, enveloped me, guzzled me until

there was nothing left to give

I pictured the curve of his nose and the glint in his eye

knew that he was smiling

he stands straight

his adams apple bobbing

at eye level.

Sizzled into my retinas.

And I am the best of myself with him

I turn with a smile

but his gaze is somewhere else

vacant

I try to reach out to him

but there is an invisible wall between us

and he is in a parallel world

and the realisation shoots a sharp hot pain through my middle

I crumple,

tiny hands try to grab him

tiny hands that will never be mine

I feel the weight of the world as I did before he took it

crush me.

The sunshine fades dimly into autumn

but although inside I am screaming, scratching, gasping

I turn and walk away.