Bleeding Scarlet Begonias 1.9.

1.9.

I lied
about you
to live in
a lie that
was made
by you

You helped
convince me
you said it
was the truth

They said I
manipulated
ways to change
versions
Possible fate
with you

Now your eyes
my tears
You made me
need you
Said you didn't
know how
you could cry
for you

I saw the anger
taking you
anger that made
me hate you
For not loving
myself
I didn't know how
I couldn't
I won't
I refuse
to love
without you

It showed me ways
through you
to become you

My red painted
lips
Your lips
I gave to you
Made a language
for us
Interpreted rough
kisses
In ways it made
definition afraid
to define us

Silently I
translate
ways of what
it was

The feeling of
how it felt
to belong
to be your
someone
Is it selfish
to say
to wish
I took away
your feeling
the knowledge
of belonging
Watch how
I begin to
dissipate




1.10.

Black streaks
down my cheeks
Tears that once
masked
Tears trying
to make up
For not running
For falling

You said
to stay away
with you
I made you
you take me
Planned our
getaway
high speed chase
Repairing our
collision
We raced
Robbing empty
banks
No time
to refuel
You let me
crash
couldn't look
back
You killed me
backing up
into you

Kiss my red lips
your favourite
Your shade of
lipstick
Do you remember
the love
The taste of
my lips
on your lips?

Every day to you
I prayed
I begged
to stay down
with you
Your favourite
shade
our grave
Don't you remember?

I do

That was
the first lie
you made a
promise too
You said I
could go
everywhere
with you
Don’t you remember?

I do

I lost that
stick
It’s just f*****g
lipstick
You told me it was
your favourite
It was my only
thing left
of you

No shades
to see
Colours left
of me
I lost me
that night too

My red lips
still red
not because
your heart
has bled

Because mine bleeds
red shades of you