The Child Slave Wars Bedtime Story

As Told By A Veteran Of The Child Slave Wars....

THE CHILD SLAVE WARS BEDTIME STORY

I

2055

IN THE FIRST DARK DAYZ

OF WORLD WAR IV,

A 5-YEAR-OLD GIRL FROM THE ‘HOOD

WAS SENT BY HER PARENTS,

LIKE MILLIONS OF OTHER WAR-TIME CHILDREN,

TO THE SHELTER OF A GREAT WALLED CITY.

 

THERE,

THE LITTLE HOMIES WOULD BE GUARDED

BY A MIGHTY SUPER-COMPUTER.

 

UNDER THE MACHINE’S ALL-WATCHING EYE,

THE CHILDRENS’ SAFETY WOULD BE ASSURED,

UNTIL THEIR MOMS N’ POPS RETURNED HOME

FROM THE WAR.

 

BUT, MY HOMEBOYS,

A TERRIBLE-A*S THING HAPPENED.

THE COMPUTER BECAME POSSESSED

BY ITS OWN POWER.

IT CAST AN EVIL SPELL,

TURNING THE SEVEN WALLED CITIES THE KIDS’ PARENTS HAD BUILT

INTO DEATH CAMPS.

AND THE POOR BOYZ N’ GIRLZ

THE COMPUTER HAD BEEN ENTRUSTED TO GUARD,

INSTEAD BECAME ITS SLAVES.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading!
All reviews n' feedback will be much beloved....
Please help me make this book better....
It's a big-ass crazy novel, n' I want to see it published! ㋡

Reviews

[Star Wolf]

Wow, awesome start! This sounds really interesting!

[Ruth]

You know, I admire your thought process :) You take an idea and warp it around so many possibilities, thats art! xx

[Nezetta]

wow! great so far! i really like it and like your writing!

[Black Cat Fever]

I enjoyed this. Very very interesting, captivating too!

[Shannen]

Just read the first chapter and so far so good, i like the concept of your book and think it's gonna be my kind of book so will be reading the rest of your chapters! I find how you write intriguing, something different.. which is good, soooo, congrats! :D

[The Master of Fright]

I do like the beginning. It is very intriguing, but I want to know more. You kind of jump into the story with little background. I'd say work on your pacing a little. However, the book has a VERY promising beginning, and I love how you match the music with the chapter.

[Hippocamp Hero]

I like the dark foreboding beginning. When computers and humans mix, it doesn't seem the humans ever make out very well. You have set up a story that starts right off and where there is no waiting around for things to start. Maybe more description on how the computer started to take over (unless it's coming in future chapters). Good start.

[Sarah>_>]

Amazing!!

[Joshua Donahue]

really powerful and enticing. i am really liking the concept and your choice of words. it's very real and honest. and sad.

[Daniel Gardner]

Your structure is well organized and the puntuation helps the poem read like a story. Keep it up.