Mummy

Rebecca describes her mother.

CHAPTER TWO

MUMMY

I should tell you about my mother. Her name is Jessica. She can be a mean thing to me. She often treats me like a baby, especially when my room is messy. I do love her, but only when she loves me back. Mummy is only fifteen years older than me. She got pregnant with me when she was fourteen and a half. Perhaps in her mind she is still a child. She often tells me that she loves me. I don't believe her because she will end up being mean to me. She never slaps or whips me, I think it's because I'm not a boy. If I were a boy, then she would do it. I never go into her room, except when I'm sick.

Mummy loves to drink coffee. She doesn't like tea, not like granny. Granny loves tea, but that's because she's from England. Mummy loves granny because Mummy is her youngest child. Mummy was angry at granny when I was born because she was too young and granny thought mummy was throwing her life away. She wanted her to have a future. I'm mummy's future. Father doesn't live with us, he's in Bradford; the state capital. He's the senator that represents Cape Cod and the islands. Mummy doesn't like that she has to raise me on her own. I think they may divorce.

The other day, before Emily arrived, mummy asked me a serious question;

“Becky, what do you want to do when you get older?” Now I'm not one for answering questions because I have so many of my own to ask. I avoided it because I don't know. Blanche says that I'll be independent, but mummy doesn't. This hurts mummy. She says my “A word” will challenge me for the rest of my life. I don't believe that. I have dreams. Some day I want to be my own mummy and have children. But not before I see the world. Mummy says I'll need help, but I don't think so. I want to be like my cousin Rose. Rose is smart and she has a lot of friends.

Mummy has been devoting her attention to Emily, calling her Emma. Emily is such a baby. She sleeps with a doll and she's twelve and a half. Mummy said that it was normal for children to be attached to things. I still have my toys which I play with, but I don't sleep with any of them. Emily seems to be obsessed with Angela Brazil's books. I prefer my L.T. Meade. Meade is so much more wholesome than Brazil. Brazil just fills her head with junk. Meade tells me to be good. I am good. Mummy wants me to read Jane Austen because she read her books when she was my age. I think mummy was good like me before she had me.

Mummy took me to the city when I was five. That was in 1901. I met Emily then for the first time. That's when the doctor said I have the “A word.” I remember mummy and father fighting afterwards because he thought I'd be cotton-headed. He was wrong. He doesn't like me much. He never talks to me; he only talks to mummy. This doesn't hurt me much, he's the stupid one. Mummy sometimes doesn't help, but maybe she's on my side. Sometimes Mummy cries because she is angry. She never talks badly about father. She often criticizes me, but she says it's to make me better. I don't believe her.

Now that Emily is here, I can't have time with mummy anymore. This hurts my feelings. Now it's all Emily all the time. Emily has changed mummy. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep because of Emily. Maybe I can get rid of her. If mummy found out I was trying to get rid of Emily, then maybe she'd whip me. So, I'll just sit and wait. Mummy will be nice, I jut know it. I heard her talking the other day that Emily will get to go to school with me. I hope Thelma doesn't get her. I'll have to protect my cousin.

Mummy says that tonight we will eat in the dining room instead of the kitchen. Mrs. Franklin is coming over. She has a son that's my age. Her oldest daughter is sixteen. I like Mrs. Franklin, she is so nice. She diffuses things when things between mummy and I get bad. Mummy will storm off like a child, leaving Mrs. Franklin to look after me for a short time. Mrs. Franklin tells me that it isn't my fault. She hasn't met Emily yet, but I think she will like her. I hope so. I don't know whether to like Emily or not. Maybe she's a monster. Maybe she isn't.

Mummy is a very early riser. She gets up at four in the morning every day. She wears her pink house coat downstairs. She is very low key in the morning, that is until she gets her coffee. After that she is ready to go. Her coffee cup is pink. She wears pink underthings. Mummy loves pink. Unlike me, I like red things; but mummy says I cannot wear red things. Sometimes we have arguments over what I can wear. I do not know what Emily's favorite color is, but I think it is blue. Perhaps when I'm grown I can wear red things. My underthings are white, because mummy says it's for purity and innocence.

When we eat dinner tonight, I will try to talk to mummy. If mummy wants to talk, we will talk. But I don't think she will talk to me, instead she will talk to Emily. I fear mummy will love her more than I and I cannot cope with that. I will become something of an artifact, a thing for museums and historians to talk about. I need to be number one for her. I just think mummy is making a grave mistake, one that will divide us forever. I will persevere through this. I won't let mummy get me down. If she tries, I'll fight back.