Was Jesus Heterosexual?

I cannot wait for the blanket
To be pulled up over my face,
Those coins placed over my eyes
I will need the money.
I possess neither the virtue
Nor the energy to talk my way in.

 

Whoever heard of buying a place in Heaven?
Though I heard Islamic stocks are high.
Anyway I don't buy into religion,
I much prefer to believe my own hype,
Much the way Jesus did.
Maybe I am the Second Coming
Ha, that would just be too funny.
Jesus, The C**k Sucker, I wonder
Was Jesus heterosexual?

 

I'll turn your daughter to wine 
That's for sure,
And I hope God, or
Should that be my absent Father?
Doesn't mind that I customised my toga,
Less was never more.

So God,
If you're not the biggest fraud
Please stop telling people
The best things in life are free,
Because it doesn't take a genious to see
Everything and everyone has its' price.

Reviews

[PianoandPage]

i'm all for sacreligious writing and this was right up my alley. i love your cynical tone and your clever sharp lines.

i agree with "spoken"'s review... that stanza was amazing.

i think art should always be a little disturbing or offensive. it gets people to think.

still you were able to throw out the "c**k sucker" line without making the poem crass or ignoble which shows your talent.

i am a fan.

[Emily B]

You are always willing to lay it on the line. Excellent write.

[KUFU]

Jesus was omnisexual (A sacred mental sexuality). Sex is not the physical friction between two animals. This is where sociologist get it wrong and religion screws up the minds of men. Sex has nothing to do with putting a "pecker" in your mouth or sticking a c**k in a shuttle. Sex/sexuality occurs always in the mind. Jesus tried to explain this to the idiots when he said, "it is not what goes into a man that defileth him, rather what comes out, and THAT goes into the drought". A man may choose to impregnate a woman for his and her legacy; this is how we populate the earth, God said, "go forth and multiply", not, "go forth and have sex". So the question of whether or not Jesus was heterosexual is mute. Sex is not gender. Sex is the act of fornicating with another, or multiple partners just for the sake of it. Did Jesus procreate? This is debatable. Did Jesus have sex? Yes. Was he heterosexual? This is semantics and has nothing to do with sexuality or procreation. Heterosexual, bi-sexual, homosexual, transgendered, tri-sexual and on and on and on are just words created to define a particular fornicating act...these definitions have nothing to do with a human's, or Jesus' for that matter, ability to "GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY", all the above definitions are composed of both men and women who are perfectly capable of doing so if they so chose.
I like this poem. Provocative and contemplative.

[Legion]

You're assuming that God is what we make Him. We try to define Him so that we may understand Him a bit more than our feeble human minds can comprehend. It is like trying to understand infinity or eternity. We can label it, but we can not truly fathom it since we can not achieve it. It is because of our futile attempts at this that we (humanity) have developed all these different religions and factions within those religions. Our arrogance to think that we alone know and that we alone are right has led us down the path of damnation. A good write, but don't let humanity's views cloud your toughts of what God is or is not. I am not a deeply religious person, but I do understand humanity and know we (as a whole) or wrong.

[Don]

This is quite the interesting read and thought provoking to some degree....unfortunately I do not agree with all of it. Yes, there are some who believe they can buy into religion, but 2 counts where you went astray(although you are entitled to your opinion) 1) Jesus and God are and were heterosexual(read the bible)
2) Not all people can be swayed for a price...some people are all about the point and will not be moved by greed
Now I'm not trying to lecture here nor do I profess to be the most religious person in the world, however, when I was younger there was a time when I did not want to believe in God either, and felt the same as you on some issues. However, as I got older and matured enough to view life through an open mind, I realized that a lot of things happened in my life that were just impossible to be all chance. I believe there is a more superior being out there(I choose to call Him God) that guides those of us that will listen.
I mean if you really think about it, what are the odds that the Bible with all its stories would remain around for as long as it has if there was nothing supernatural about it? I'm sure if everyone felt as strong as you do, there would not be a Bible in existence today.I do not think God tells us the best things in life are free. Some things we may need to work hard at to achieve.Sorry for rambling on here, but you did put my mind in overdrive...lol Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us and keep on writing.
hugs
Don