Repeat, Repeat, Repeat

Repeat, Repeat, Repeat

A Poem by Sam

Selfish, lonely, fucked up little boy,
Miraculous makeup provides a stunning decoy,
Washes away my unhealthy palour,
I have a taste for all that's sour,
Why must they have all the power?

 

I am circular, repeat, repeat, repeat
A purple circle, I want to weep
But cannot find the tears.
I lie here full, so very full.
Alone with my thoughts,
They are ugly comfort.


I think about you
Not so often, but no less intense,
I can't keep up the pretence,
I love you, you and your nonsense.
Can't shake my convict's conscience.

 

Their hands are rough,
Their touch false,
Yours was soft and true,
Now its vacant, the sentiment gone.

 

Will anyone ever love this
Tiny fucked up little soul again?
Perhaps it was beginner's luck
Finding you so quick?
I feel sick.
Repeat, repeat, repeat.

© 2008 Sam


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Featured Review

This is a very nice little concept, and the use of repetition is judicious and nicely done. I'm not sure the rhyme scheme is really helping the piece at all--if anything, it seems to be boxing you in a bit and not giving the ideas free rein; I think if you re-worked the piece and junked the rhyme you might have a bit more elbow room for your thoughts. It's a fairly solid piece as is, and it has the potential to be quite good indeed.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is a very nice little concept, and the use of repetition is judicious and nicely done. I'm not sure the rhyme scheme is really helping the piece at all--if anything, it seems to be boxing you in a bit and not giving the ideas free rein; I think if you re-worked the piece and junked the rhyme you might have a bit more elbow room for your thoughts. It's a fairly solid piece as is, and it has the potential to be quite good indeed.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 12, 2008

Author

Sam
Sam

UK, United Kingdom



About
My writing says more about me than I could ever type here. more..

Writing
How It Feels. How It Feels.

A Poem by Sam


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A Poem by Sam