Faith and it's Falsities

An extremely lyrical poem about faith. She thought everyone was gone, until she felt even God left her side. Hypocrites come to convert her, offering no help. Enjoy<3

Leave me be

For I am but a child

A mere ribbon in the curls

An abandon spire

 Alone in its base

No mouth, but a face

That excels to hide

The dungeon room behind

The door you solicit 

Where a devil resides.

You hand me your papers 

Why not come inside?   

You call

You knock

You swear you can save...

Morose lingers

Destiny's slave 

You promote your religion 

But not live its name

 

Let me alone

I be purged of family

Pled from home

May the songs of worship

Match my moans

My harmonic

My life’s eternal tone

As I waste

Like an angel descended

In this grey, despondent cove.

Let the water play

As it laps at my bod

Eroding the trove

Of vitality-"save"-

Me by proceeding on.

All these atrocities

Pray tell,

Where be your God? 

Author's Note

Gimme whatcha got, and be honest. I'm extremely Christian to answer that now, but everybody struggles with their beliefs.

Reviews

[quinfinn]

i make no secret of the fact that i am pagan and i am loathe to embrace any form of organized religion simply because of the judgment and hypocrisy that it exudes. i love this write for its honesty and gritty appeal. in my mind there is nothing so stupid as blind faith in an unproven dogma.....excellent piece.

[Gianna Dale]

I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I'm Christian, as stated earlier, but I'm most definitely not one to lie and say that to be religious is to be good. The hypocrisy is a major part of what drove this piece, and how faith is used to manipulate the innocent by the sicker people in this world. It's counterproductive, not to mention painful. I love the infinite ways people are finding to relate to this, and I'm thrilled by it. Just because yours is more extreme doesn't mean I'm not incredibly glad that you could. Thank you for your kind review.

[quinfinn]

you are indeed welcome

[David Wesley]

Yes I will not take a stance on religion.. so I read your piece more in the light of spirituality. I think it lends to just about anyone regardless of their viewpoint. Enjoyed your rhymes. ^_^

[unsavable_soul]

Excellent,
First off I read this line and it stuck with me through the whole piece. It is very eloquent in it's design and message which are so gracefully portrayed. This is my favorite line.

"An abandon spire
Alone in its base
No mouth, but a face
That excels to hide"

I have heard "spire" day and night in poetry, however your accompanying lines gave it such depth and charm in it's dark and monotone conveyance of existence. The whole of this piece is haunting and echoes a disturbing reality of emptiness. I find your meters excellent, though I wonder how much more this piece could have said in a more spoken word fashion. No meters or rhyme scheme. Simple and pure thought put into poetic form. You amaze me ever so often Gianna, truly.
Sincerely
Christopher
100/100

[Gianna Dale]

Holy Roman Empire, what an excellent review. Wow, thank you so much Christopher. I'm so glad you could connect. Thank you for the perfect score, my heart jumps miles at it.
Always,
Gianna

[unsavable_soul]

Earned from my perspective is all.
You create such interesting tales within the bodies of your work. Such interesting material. I will be reading more soon if you don't mind?
Chris

[Gianna Dale]

Don't mind a bit(; So kind, thank you again.

[unsavable_soul]

See you soon talented Gianna.
Chris

[Sami Khalil]

"My life’s eternal tone
As I waste
Like an angel descended
In this grey, despondent cove."
I like your style a lot for its uniqueness and broad imagery...Well penned and executed...

[Gianna Dale]

Thank you so much. I know, I have a different way about me and my writing.... Hopefully we will see if that way is generally appreciated some day soon.

[Sami Khalil]

That is what sets you apart . That is good...:)

[Luke L]

whoa I'll try to be honest, but I don't know about coming at you bro :p. Lovely stuff I can really feel you in this piece :)

[Gianna Dale]

Haha you don't have to (: Thank you!

[Luke L]

you look pretty tough I don't want to start a fight with you :p

[Maria Linden]

Well, Ms Dale, it would seem as though you're a doubter. This is poignant and YAY MEASURE!! Found it!
This is a super-good representation of how people feel when they think about their faiths in depth, whether it be an atheist or a catholic monk. Well done;)

[Gianna Dale]

Thank you(:

[Gianna Dale]

And Ms Linden, I'll have you know that I am very strong in my faith in God. But as you said, we all have struggle when we consider our faith depth sometimes. I am no doubter. I'm human (: So there's no 'score one for the atheist' here (;

[Dreamer]

Wow, I like this piece. Wow, it's very lyrical indeed and it flows so wonderfully. I wish I could go into more detail but I promise I will revisit this review soon.

[Gianna Dale]

Thank you(:

[Just Kim]

WOW, very powerful strong read.
Enjoyed this alot...

[Gianna Dale]

Thanks so much(: