A cow without head

-Finish. Finally anybody’s gone. No, it’s nice, the company, have dinner together, dry up two bottles of Barbera. But a time comes when everyone shall go home and work off the feast in their own way.

For example, Now I’m going to get under the sheets, my wife and my son already did and they’re sleeping peacefully as I will do in a while. Also because, with the load of wine and food I had, I guess there’s nothing else for me to do.

This was Rino’s last thought while he laid beside his wife who was already sleeping. A few seconds late, thank to the Barbera wine, he fell asleep too.

After turning himself twice, he finally found a comfortable position and a deep silence came in the house.

He didn’t know how long it had been when a noise broke his sleep, immediately he thought about his little son that was sleeping in the same room but in his own bed, beside the double bed. He waited for a while and heard again that noise and decided that it could not be nothing concerning the baby. He thought he was still a little sleeping and decided to wait more. He heard it again and tried to focus the room in the street light that seeped in through the shutters.

Than he saw it, that enormous silhouette at the end of the bed seemed alive, seemed like moving.

-It might be the ironing, but why did she put it there?- He thought then closed his eyes and lied down on his left side ready to fall asleep again but immediately a detail of that situation woke up him again.

-Ironing doesn’t make noise. Neither moves.

Frightened held his breath and, slowly, turned and rest his shoulder on the headboard.

-Hey Rino.

That strange, deep and vibrating voice penetrated in Rino’s eardrums with the power of a thunder and let his heart beat fast. Rino, motionless and terrified, kept staring at that strange being that was even more looking like a cow.

-Hey! I’m talking to you. An answer would be kind.

Rino collected all his forces and encouraged himself.

-Hey… how… how are you?

-Can’t you see by yourself?- Answered the strange guest.

-Well, you look… fine.

-Haven’t you noticed that I miss my head?

Rino’s body thrilled of fear, that dark being vaguely resembling a cow, with that deep vibrated voice was speaking even without a head.

-So? Have you become mute? Have you never seen a cow without the head?

-Actually- answered Rino, half comforted by having guessed right about the fact it was a cow -I’ve seen it twice. But I can swear they didn’t speak.

-No? So, why?

-Well, because they were… they were… cows. For God’s sake! Cows don’t speak! What the hell is this, a joke? Who are you? What do you want from me?

The cow answered with a mellow tone -Your head Rino. You and me can be a single thing.

-Are you stupid? You’re right a f*****g cow! Only a beast as you are can have such a f*****g idea!- Shouted Rino now more angry than frightened -What the hell am I doing? I’m talking with a cow! A cow without head!

-So? Is it strange? I’m answering you.

Rino thought he was going crazy. He tried to wake up his wife in order to ask her if she could see what he was seeing and he almost fell down from the bed when he saw a koala head attached to the neck of her.

-What’s up?- Asked the koala.

-Darling, is everything right?- Asked Rino with a trembling voice.

-Yes, all right. Why?

-No, nothing at all. Keep sleeping.- Said Rino who, at this point, was sure he lost his reason.

-Is the little mouse sleeping?- asked the marsupial wife, Rino looked at the little bed where the baby was sleeping but suddenly the nickname he and his wife gave to the child got him frightened of what kind of being was occupying the little bed. He just listened to the child's breath and then reassured the wife.

He turned back to the no head cow which was still there.

-Listen, at this point I can even give you my head; at any rate it doesn’t work well any more. But, you know, I’m… attached to it.- After saying this he sipped the whisky from his glass. Then, as if that was a common conversation, he arose, waved the centaur bartender that was already cleaning up everything before closing and got out of the bar.

When he was on the street he imposed himself not to think he was safe until he was back home and, while he heard the noise of the cow’s hoofs behind him, he asked himself how he could have been so stupid to have a drink with a no head cow.

The steps of the cow got so near that he felt it was behind his shoulders and when it reached for Rino immediately started asking him his head.

-Rino, can you realize you’re the only one who still didn’t share his body with an animal?

-What are you talking about? Leave me alone.- Rino started to run again trying to increase the gap with the cow, he ran for a few minutes then another voice kept his attention: someone was calling him.

-Rino! Come on! You’re always late. Searching for you got me started with delay.

-I was at the start as usual, Massi. Why have you come looking for me… Massimo? What’s happened on your face?

-Nothing. What’s wrong with my face?

-You have pointed ears, round face and the nose… Massimo you are… a pig!- Said Rino in panic while behind them the cow was still calling Rino.

-Rino, we know each other since fifteen years ago and since fifteen years ago we do nothing but speaking about women and sex! And now, while we’re running the Marathon you say I’m a pig?

-You have a pig head!- Answered Rino.

-I know, may I choose the head I prefer?

In that moment Rino took a look around and noticed that also the other athletes were half humans and half animals. Exhausted and confused decided to have a break and try to understand what was happening to him. Went to the coffee machine and put a coin in. Stroke the button near the writing “Cappucino” and rested his back on the wall waiting for the beverage to be ready.

Immediately some steps echoed on the near corridor, they sounded like women shoes heels and they seemed to be two women.

-Oh, good. Let’s hope that one of them is that amazon of Luisa; I need to delight my sight.- He thought while his mind was focusing the stunning body of the woman.

Luisa arrived just while Rino was taking his cappuccino from the machine.

-Hi Rino. How are you?

Rino replied before turning to her. -Hi my dear. Well. Thank you. Ant what about you? You are… oh my God.

-What?- Asked Luisa -Don’t you like my dress?

-Oh, no. That… saddle… fits very well on you. It’s very… short.- This was the best reply Rino could give at the moment.

-Sure, it’s an English saddle. They cover much less than western ones.- Commented Luisa shaking maliciously her tail.

-Ehm, yes. I noticed it. Now I have to go, excuse me. -After speaking, Rino ran away along a corridor at the end of which he saw two persons. He couldn't tell who they were but he was sure he didn't want to meet anyone else for that day. He slowed and started to walk in order not to seem frightened by those two figures that seemed to be waiting for him.

While he was walking he passed next to a door, intrigued took a look inside and saw the no head cow and in front of it a tall man with an eagle head. The man with the eagle head reminded to Rino one teacher of the last year at high school and it seemed that the cow was talking with the teacher as parents of students usually do.

He tried to capture something of what the teacher was saying.

-… I know, also when he went to school he was always a typical nonconformist. Anything the other guys did he didn't do for choice.

-It's not true! You f*****g teacher! You're all equal, anyone of you pretends to know anything about us. Not an eagle but a donkey head you should put on!- He noticed he spoke aloud and, to prevent the two occupiers of the room to see him, started to run again.

The two figures at the end of the corridor where still there and were becoming always more distinguishable: they were the two girls he loved when he was younger. He didn't feel surprised by seeing them show two cute peacock ties.

I could swear it!- He said while running towards them without any fear before remembering that peacock show their majestic ties with the intent of threatening who's if front of them. That thought let him stop, he turned around and saw the teacher running after him followed by the cow with no head. He felt persecuted and started to shout. He shouted with all the breath he could untill he felt something hitting repeatedly him on the neck.

-You f*****g idiot! Stop shouting. You'll wake up the baby and frighten him.

Rino recognized immediately the whispered but strong voice of his wife, reprimanding him without making too much noise.

Rino turned to his wife and was delighted to see her face, he touched lightly her cheek with the fear of feeling a koala's hair but instead of it he felt the silky smoothness of the skin he was used to.

-Mmm, what a panderer you are.- Was the reply of the wife who caught that gesture for a caress -Now you cuddle me until I sleep again.

-Darling?

-Yes?

-Before you cling to me like a… koala. I would tell you that we must fix that ornament.

-What ornament?

-The cow, the one I let fall on the floor that got the head broken.

-Yes, we'll do it. Now sleep. And cuddle me.

Reviews

[Tabby Mac]

This was a bit long for me, but the ending made up for it! Clever story! You have a way with words, definitely dream like...I was wondering where it was going half way through and hung in there to see where it would go.
I'd trim it up a little bit in the middle. You would have to be the one to chose which to keep and which to trim since it is your piece, but an example would be to trim out the school part leave the race and the peacocks. It's all good I'm just suggesting to tighten it up a bit and shorten the middle as not to lose the reader. Love the ending! Very creative!
Tabby

[Salvatore]

Hi Tabby,
thanks a lot for reviewing my story. Yes I'm a little long at telling stories and this may be a long one but I have to tell you that it was made for a contest on a forum where I'm registered.
One of the rules was the limit of 10000 characters (spaces included). I worked a little hard to cut the length of the text.
Anyway I'm so glad you like it. I have some other stories to post here, hope to find the time to translate them soon and post them.
Bye.

[pia]

loved this story !!!! smartly written
this is real talent. cleverly written!! kept me interested the whole time

[Salvatore]

Thank you so much pia. Glad you like it.

[apennylate]

The dreams one has of things done bad... Breaking an ornament incited THAT...?!?!?! As this was done as a translation... Absolutely amazing... I tried to skim at points, but kept getting anchored by the utter absurdity... Little mouse, my marsupial wife says... Aha... A crazy read, and def' worth the RR from EJ... Good eye, she has... Well done, friend... I am fully saturated in giggles... But serious giggles... I swear I will fix the cow when we awake...

[Tony Jordan]

I laughed out loud a couple of times. Especially at the eagle - should be a donkey - line.
The end was a bit of a groan but an enjoyable one.
Thanks EmmaJoy for RR'ing this one (EmmaJoy...Em...where are you?)

[Salvatore]

Thanks a lot for reviewing. I'm so glad you laughed. For an Italian as me means I did a good translation either than a nice story (at least I hope so).
Thanks again.
Regards.
Salvatore

[emmajoy]

This is such a fine story, it has all the right ingredients, should be read and reviewed very keenly.

But for me, the lay-out doesn't lure the reader to continue after a few lines (I was determined so, worked on the reading.. Eyes ache now!) When initially here, all the reader sees is a long, long block of writing that's rather daunting. Please, please take time to give the story thorough spacing - as you would see in a book. Perhaps?

Many thanks for sharing.

(Review now much shorter. )

[Salvatore]

Thank you for reviewing. Your suggestions are very precious. I'll do what you suggested me.

[emmajoy]

Thank YOU for accepting my suggestion.. and, when done, please invite me to re-read and review in fuller detail. Your story deserves far more than I've given.

[Salvatore]

Here I am, I tried to let i t be more readable. I thought that I may divide it in at least two parts, what do you think?

[emmajoy]

Strangely, was going to suggest similar but didn't want to appear horribly negative. So, yes, that's a great idea, again will make it easier for readers to pause for a while and savour the tale part by part. Much success. :)

[emmajoy]

Do you think smaller font would help at this stage?

[Salvatore]

Well, i tried to increse the spacing between the rows but it meant that I had to push the Enter button at the end of any row and I didn't like it, actually.
So the only way I found to let the text more comfortable was to increase the font size. Now I try to resize it

[emmajoy]

You can ignore my suggestions.. am not an expert, anything but. Trying to think who might be able to advise you re. the above ... there must be someone in the Cafe who could help you. Your unusual story really does need to be read.. it really does. Will think who might help and get back to you when i can.

[emmajoy]

You could of course, print off your story as it is. Then re.write it with smaller font but with the helpful spacing? Would take time but...

[Salvatore]

I already tried it but it didn't work.

[emmajoy]

Your story's wearing a completely new coat now.. looks so neat and more. Congratulations!