I'm Trying.

A Story by Saloni

I am going insane, but I'm trying.

You came. You went.
Just the way it was planned. Just the way you were supposed to. You made memories. You laughed, and got stories you can now tell your friends.
It all happened and I became a part of this mistakingly.
We crossed paths. And I never in my wildest thoughts imagined it to be like this.
And trust me, it didn't happen like it does in the books. Everything didn't slow down. And I didn't fell for you in a spark.
It was a slow process. You made me smile, helped me with myself. Stood by me when I was weak. And slowly, made me go insane.
There have been times when I saw you and smiled like an idiot, and my mind whispered 'you're so screwed.'.
And then the time came, when you had to leave. And you left.
But you did something that is just cruel.
Touched me. Said goodbye while I was in your arms. How could you?
It could have been easier you know. But now it seems impossible.
You now what hurts? The fact that you didn't fight. You didn't hurt me.
You didn't make fake promises or whispered all those lies dipped in honey. You did none of this.
You left smiling and making me laugh. And that, is exactly what hurts.
Maybe one day I won't be missing you like this, but till then let me be insane.
My best friend asked me why I didn't tell you all of this.
Because, I feel sometimes, things are better left unsaid. The feelings, the truths, the love. All of it. It is better inside.
No, it's not about regret or the chances you didn't take.
They are there. But they don't hurt. Because the love, is safe there. It blooms and grows and turns itno something that consists of just happiness and memories.
Call me a coward, but I feel the love between me and your memories is somewhere I feel safe. And maybe the love between you and me would not give me that.
That calm, soothing, safe place filled with your essence and my dreams.
All I can say in the end is, I'm going insane
but believe me, I'm trying.