Lonely Hearts

Hearts broken. Misery , Agony and Despair. Could this all end when Lonely Hearts is made? Will the broken hearts be mended?

Desire is a despair

They went out at the beginning of the year. Very nervously, he went and asked her out, asking her if she wanted to be his. She was happy with this and they kissed under the moonlight which was lit like the glowing end of a cigarette.

They loved each other for such a long time that people called them the golden couple. Until their relationship started crumbling. No one figured that it would end like this.

He loved her and his love for her made him blind. He didn’t realize that she constantly disappeared. He didn't see the way her eyes didn’t show the love that it used to show. He followed her like a love sick puppy; he walked right at the edge of their love and fell down.

She got fed up, saying that he wasn’t good enough for her anymore. She brought this up to him one day, telling him that they weren’t working out.

Much to her astonishment, he fell on his knees, begging her to stay. He told her she was all he needed. That without her he was nothing.

She shrugged him off, telling him he wasn’t worth her love, that he’s made a mess of himself.

He called out her name, as she left. He cried, his tears falling down drying, before another one came and took its place. His heart was breaking and he felt like thousands of needles had stabbed him. He wanted to open his eyes and see her face even if he had to wait for a thousand days.

He knew he hadn’t always been where she wanted him to be. But now he was standing there, arms out, waiting for death to take him away.

Misery

She only heard about suicide through news, sad movies and books. She never agreed with it and always thought it was an awful and sad thing to do. A life being wasted.

Until now…

She was depressed, sad and angry. Could it get any worse? She had just found out that her boyfriend had been cheating on her. What really made her sad was the boldness of his cheating. He didn’t even try to hide it. That day she started cutting herself. She started getting into more fights with her friends, her grades started going downhill and her parents started worrying.

Two weeks later, nothing had changed. That was when she started thinking about suicide. She could just jump out of the balcony and end this misery. She stood at the balcony and looked down, closed her eyes and brought a leg forward. Her leg was now dangling in the air and all she needed was another push and she’d fall.

Just one more push. “Come on, you can do it,” She told herself.

After five minutes of standing there, trying to collect her courage, she realized she couldn’t do it. Not ever. She’d miss her parents, her friends and her life.

She went in her room and sobbed hysterically. She realized she didn't have the guts , she was too scared . She lay down and thought her life over.

She had to make her life better. Tomorrow she'd go to school and put a happy face on. She'd stop cutting herself and would try and bring her grades up.

Hopefully life would become better.

And that's when she thought about Lonely Hearts.

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Please comment , like and well read ;) <3 Love you guys!

Author's Note

Please comment , I would highly appreciate it. Thank you , all you readers ;)

Reviews

[Cicera]

Villains, bad characters-or call them faulty if you like, missing dramatically in the aspects that should make them heroes, good characters-can also feel despair and misery according to their own sense of right, correctness. But what I like here is that you-as the narrator and the voice who controls the ups and downs of his characters-do not hide any of the despicable sides of these characters. The faulty type is brought in full nudity, open to blame-which criticism would probably rebound of it as a ball off a silent wall-and further more it justifies itself with its own reasoning.

In the first part, I can hardly see a reason for which I should despise the boy who cared very much about a girl. Whereas the girl disposes of him as though he was a piece of clothing that she no longer fits in. And yet, she thinks that she is right! How outrageous! But still, there are people outside like that, and writing is not only an instrument that people use to glorify goodness and criticise evil.

In the other part, Despair, now a boy is cheating, doing wrong in a proud way and bold enough to own up to his disreputable act. The girl's reaction almost completely-but in a subtle way I'm up to explain in a second-draws a parallel to the boy's reaction in the first part that he gives for being dumped. A girl is about to suicide, and this shocks me as a reader, in a way. But when I turn up to the forsaken boy in the first part, I do ask myself whether I really felt for him the much I am curious, and worried, about the girl's situation here. Why?

Maybe the reason is that the girl of the first part is predominantly obtrusive that there is no chance for me as a reader to feel for the boy as much as I am irritated by the girl's arrogance. In the second part, the boy is hardly mentioned. He is almost a pretext for her to go and let herself jump to her premeditated destiny. I even thought that she heard about suicide so much and read about it that she wanted to try it out and see for herself how it felt!

In other words, and although they could be separate and the characters completely different, the two parts are written from one perspective of the girl. In the first it is written from the villainised girl character's point of view and the second from the somewhat victimised one. What troubles me though is that she gets away with her misery while the boy seems to has drowned himself in perpetual dispair! So bad girl rules!

I can certainly see a clever mind behind this story. The title is ironic, lonely hearts, but still is true. At the end all have ended alone.

[Tenebrousoul]

This selection was okay. There were grammatical errors, which I won't deal with here.
This piece was heartfelt, and I could see you put effort into it. It even flowed well.
Yet, I can't help but feel it could've been better, maybe by giving the female some further depth. Great job. Keep it up.

[StillShorterThanYou]

it's good, but i got really confused when the guy was freaking out over the break-up, and then all of a sudden it was the girl saying why... do you think you could got more in-depth at that part?

[InterijentoWrites]

This is an interesting piece. Though, if it is to be a story, the characters should be more developed. But, your ending does make a good way to leave readers wanting more. I only saw a few grammar errors. Keep up the good work.