As Long As I Live

I thought I could fly; so, why did I drown?

 

AS LONG AS I LIVE

 

 

The saline amusement of your eyes,

The infectious carelessness of your smile,

The way your locks swell and shine:

I shall never forget them.

As long as I live, as long as I live.

 

The time you freed your hand from mine,

The time you went down the road less taken in life,

The time you never looked back, and into my eyes:

I shall never forgive them.

As long as I live, as long as I live.

 

The way you danced fearlessly in the rain,

The way you frowned - lines furrowing your face,

All the silly little pranks that you played:

I shall always love them.

As long as I live, as long as I live.

 

Your untrue promises and words,

Your blazing-freezing universe,

Your merciless, remorseless love:

I shall always hate them.

As long as I live, as long as I live.

*  *  *

 

Author's Note

This is translated from a poem I heard a while back. Tried to keep as close to the rhythm as possible. Hope you like it. Suggestions would be most welcome.

Reviews

[Norman T]

This is a beautifully written piece. "The saline amusement of your eyes" was a superb metaphor, which could equally refer to sorrowful tears . The repeated last lines also took on a different significance in each verse.
Did the original have the same sublety of language?

Norman

[Sally Hope]

The original DID have the same subtlety, actually; which is why I tried to keep it as indirect as possible. I'm glad that you liked it, and thank you for reading it.

[Inject Positivity]

Beautiful.....Its from the movie "jab tak hai jaan".....Well done....

[Sally Hope]

It is, indeed, beautiful. The movie is great, too, but the poem stands out on its own.

[Autumn Lyric]

it is a shared feeling that when we begin to love and give that love freely, it is like soaring, isn't it? then something happens, goes desperately wrong and our wistful flight takes a turn for the worst; a downward spiral and yet in either recourse, unforgettable moments are recorded and those feelings are universal and diverse, yet remaining unique to the one experiencing them . what was the original translation? I would love to research it (I love exploring different languages,too and expressions within them) thank you for sharing! Nicely done!

[Sally Hope]

The original is named "Jab Tak Hai Jaan", a hindi poem. You should definitely search for it. It's both beautiful and haunting, and leaves a bittersweet ache in your heart. Thank you so, so much for the wonderful review, LaShaye. Your words are like a guide to this piece, and I'm really grateful for it. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I'm glad you found it beautiful.

[Autumn Lyric]

Your welcome...and thank you for the information!

[Simon Welsh]

Beautiful. Translations lend a different dimension. Hence why I am trying to learn Japanese.

[Sally Hope]

Translations do lend a different dimension. One of the many reasons I would love to be able to understand all languages, so I can figure out what all wisdom is hidden behind those beautiful word :)

[BlaqkShadow]

Another fantastic work, I love the rhythm and the wording is so well thought out. I can relate to the poem, when you love someone they shine so bright but when they hurt you the scar is deep. My favourite lines are :
"Your blazing-freezing universe,
Your merciless, remorseless love:"
It's so powerful and full of passion, both love and anger. Love it

[Sally Hope]

Thank you once more for your time and words, BlaqkShadow. I've always believed that passion and anger are two sides of the same coin - both are just so all-consuming and volatile. No matter how it ends, there's always going to be residual cinders of anger floating down in the broken hearts.

[BlaqkShadow]

I agree, fire is fire, it all depends on who it's burning. :)

[Valentine]

In broken relationships I think all go through a part of this. Then finding someone new...better...erases that memory. Look to the future. Valentine

[Sally Hope]

Thank you so much for those kind and helpful words, Valentine. They are really appreciated.

[surfingdragoncat]

the love and the hate and the sadness! The love and the hate... and the sadness. The road diverged in the wood ended up in the same place that all the others seem to have... Great poem. Love the conflicting emotion. the contrast makes me feel the pain. little tidbits of detail help to relate to the pain that losing someone can feel. those small things that one seems to remember. that one hates the most. love it. love the reference. love the poem. hate that i cant give higher score...

[Sally Hope]

Thank you so much for that amazing review! It really means a lot that you took the time to read this. I'm glad you liked it.

[Mikahli]

A beautiful poem! The line about the road not taking in life was a bit longer than the rest, so the flow was a bit stumped there, but overall really lovely. I wonder what language this was originally in?

[Sally Hope]

Thanks for the lovely review, Mikahli. I'm glad you liked it. And this poem was originally in Hindi.

[Rosaliine]

Wow, this is amazing! I really like this :)

[Sally Hope]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, Rosaliine. It means a lot :)

[Rosaliine]

Keep up the good work :) I look forward to reading more :)

[Daydreaming]

A beautiful piece for sure, I am also curious as to which memory will sustain itself in their brain. Good memories of together, or terrible memories and scarred hearts.

Very well done.

[Sally Hope]

Thank you so much for that wonderful review. I'm glad you liked it.