If I Were You

Sometimes you're holding an angel, and you never even know.

 

IF I WERE YOU

 

If I were you, I'd hold her close.

Learn the color of her eyes, and let her know:

How precious she is - one of a kind;

The way she has saved me, and graced my life.

 

If I were you, I'd treat her right;

Know her worth in my worthless life.

Instead of gifting her with red bruises and blue-black eyes,

I'd adorn her with love - never let her go out of sight.

 

If I were you, I'd live in each hour,

And make them count, instead of leaving scars.

I'd give her love the value it deserves,

And memorize all her lines and misfit curves.

 

If I were you, I'd make it till the end.

Even if it felt wrong, or, if I had to pretend.

For you were not alone, anymore - there was your baby girl;

It was a conscious decision to bring the child into this world.

 

If I were you, I'd hold them close.

Listen to them, and let them know:

How precious they are - such a gift of life;

The way they saved me, and made my dreams aligned.

 

So, if I were you, I'd still be alive.

And shelter the family you've left behind.

But these are just words, and write is all I can do.

For, you're not here, and I'm not you.

*  *  *

Author's Note

Suggestions would be most welcome.

Reviews

[θεά]

This is very well written. A poem which can have multiple subjects for whom it is written, could be a father writing about his daughter, an admirer writing about a girl, or a witness to the abuses a girl is enduring in the hands of a not so caring man. I am proud of what you have achieved here as a mouthpiece to speak out against violence and abuse.

Despite its theme, it is not a laborious read, has a free flow to its stanzas and I would recommend this to be taken up as a poster cry for women's rights.

Best wishes,
M.

[Sally Hope]

Thank you for such a wonderful review, Mallika. It means so much to me that you think this piece could be used as a poster-cry for women's rights, specially considering the state of women around the world in recent times. Thank you again for taking the time to read this.

[Kelly Scheppers]

The quote under your title made the reading of this soar for me. It gave your words depth and wings, and a pulse!

[Sally Hope]

The quote truly is beautiful. It's a line from the song "Holding on and Letting Go" by Ross Copperman. And it was that very song that made me decide to share this piece with the world. Thanks for taking the time to read it.

[Tomoe Tellez]

Really strong words for such a small poem. It seems to hold a story behind it. Sometimes we want to fix things that we can't because everyone has their place in this life and sometimes we can not do somebody else's job or what we'd want to do because we are not them and we can't replace them.

[Sally Hope]

Such a profound review, Alondra. What you said, is very true. We regret not being someone else, for all we can do is stand by and watch him destroying himself and others around him. We should know that we aren't islands; nobody is. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

[Hatchling]

Powerful and beautiful write.

[Sally Hope]

Thanks for stopping by, Hatchling. I'm glad you liked it.

[Dead]

This is really sad and beautiful. You really are a great writer I hope you realize that.

[Sally Hope]

Thanks for the wonderful review :) It really means a lot that you took the time to read this. I'm glad you liked it.

[marchmadness]

this is deeply beautiful. you should know that:)

[Sally Hope]

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm glad you found it beautiful :)

[Kathryn Smith]

This is really beautiful. Is that a picture of a girl you know? She is a beautiful little girl...
Your writing really touched me. It was so honest and so genuine. Something I cold relate to.
Well done! x

[Sally Hope]

Thanks for taking the time to read this, Kathryn. It really means a lot. And no, the girl isn't anyone I know. I just found her picture while browsing through tumblr :)

[Simon Welsh]

This is really beautiful. There is nothing to suggest; you wrote something special.

[Sally Hope]

Thank you for taking the time to read this. And you're right: This little piece does mean something special to me. Glad you liked it.

[MelissaAndres]

I know this had to be a very difficult subject to tackle but you did it quite well. You got your point across in a creative way. Sad but lovely at the same time.

[Sally Hope]

Thanks for taking the time to read this, Melissa. It means a lot.

[MelissaAndres]

You are very welcome!

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Written to someone close, who unfortunately threw away his family. like your father? obviously rightfully blaming him for not valuing his family...and eventually he died. suicide? probably. anyway nicely done.

[Sally Hope]

Thanks for taking the time to read this, Danny. I'm glad you liked it. And as for your speculations ... as you said: Sometimes, our poems reflect some point of our lives that nobody knows about, not even the readers, no matter how hard they try to decipher its meaning. It's one of those times :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

you're welcome :-)

[foufa la perle]

For, you're not here, and I'm not you.
Just so beautiful! I could read this, a million times ans still feel the same magic you bring to this poem. And even if it's a little sad but no one has ever told the truth in such a creative way like you did here. Amazing job!

[Sally Hope]

Thank you so much for your lovely words, Foufa la perle. I'm glad you liked it :) Thanks for stopping by.

[foufa la perle]

Nevermind. I really enjoyed reading it! :) Good luck!