If I Were You

Sometimes you're holding an angel, and you never even know.

 

IF I WERE YOU

 

If I were you, I'd hold her close.

Learn the color of her eyes, and let her know:

How precious she is - one of a kind;

The way she has saved me, and graced my life.

 

If I were you, I'd treat her right;

Know her worth in my worthless life.

Instead of gifting her with red bruises and blue-black eyes,

I'd adorn her with love - never let her go out of sight.

 

If I were you, I'd live in each hour,

And make them count, instead of leaving scars.

I'd give her love the value it deserves,

And memorize all her lines and misfit curves.

 

If I were you, I'd make it till the end.

Even if it felt wrong, or, if I had to pretend.

For you were not alone, anymore - there was your baby girl;

It was a conscious decision to bring the child into this world.

 

If I were you, I'd hold them close.

Listen to them, and let them know:

How precious they are - such a gift of life;

The way they saved me, and made my dreams aligned.

 

So, if I were you, I'd still be alive.

And shelter the family you've left behind.

But these are just words, and write is all I can do.

For, you're not here, and I'm not you.

*  *  *

Author's Note

Suggestions would be most welcome.

Reviews

[θεά]

This is very well written. A poem which can have multiple subjects for whom it is written, could be a father writing about his daughter, an admirer writing about a girl, or a witness to the abuses a girl is enduring in the hands of a not so caring man. I am proud of what you have achieved here as a mouthpiece to speak out against violence and abuse.

Despite its theme, it is not a laborious read, has a free flow to its stanzas and I would recommend this to be taken up as a poster cry for women's rights.

Best wishes,
M.

[Sally Hope]

Thank you for such a wonderful review, Mallika. It means so much to me that you think this piece could be used as a poster-cry for women's rights, specially considering the state of women around the world in recent times. Thank you again for taking the time to read this.

[Aero]

This is beautifully haunting. i love it. Great job, please keep it up! Id love to see more writing like this.

[Sally Hope]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. It's always wonderful to be reviewed such beautifully.

[David Scott]

Free will is indeed a brutal cutting reality. We can choose. If only we had the fight, sight, acceptance to let love guide our decisions in this life. Glad you can write with such power and show those whose still have life they have a chance still to make new choices.
Touching, heartbreaking, and empowering all together.
Great job with this write.

[Sally Hope]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Much appreciated.

[Valentine]

Children are gifts from God...many of us were not granted that blessing. Please love and cherish them. Valentine

[Sally Hope]

Thank you for that heartfelt review, Valentine. What you said is very true and profound.

[Salem]

I loved this poem, thanks for sharing :)

[Sally Hope]

Thanks for stopping by, Salem!

[Chris]

I came by to pause and taste your thoughts. I believe this was a strongly "felt" poem but still a little confused. I get the "abuse" of likely more than just a child OR children, I feel spousal abuse ...I even get scents of suicide and self-harm, family break-ups, desertion, divorce, mental disturbance, depression ...and more. I even considered the possibility of a "mirror".

But that's likely just me...

[Sally Hope]

To be honest, I have no idea, either. I felt confused when I wrote it, and still feel bemused each time I read it. It feels like too much in too little. I'm not sure if that works for this piece, but I did not know what more to do with it. Thank you for stopping by.

[Chris]

Might I suggest you revisit this one with a more focused "mind's eye" then... flesh in enough to give more direction to YOUR purpose and hence our understanding?

[Sally Hope]

I will surely do that (my mind's eye is a bit rheumy at the moment, but I promise to recheck it, soon).

[Chris]

I've more of your "rheumy mind's eyes" to listen to and think over... you go well with coffee.

[Sally Hope]

Best friends always go well with each other :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is a very moving write...some don't know the gifts they have in loved ones...they abuse, disrespect and leave----but sooner or later they will hurt as much as they hurt others...what goes around comes around...

and those who appreciate and love...will in turn be appreciated and loved.

j.

[Sally Hope]

Thank you so much for that wonderful review. You completely summed up the heart of this little piece in a handful of words.

[Sukanya Dhatrak]

Rustic . But has a powerful approach. Strikes a chord strongly i think.

[Sally Hope]

Thank you so much for the kind words. I'm glad you liked it.

[R Smith]

no need for suggestions this is a perfect poem, you write with such beauty my friend :)

[Sally Hope]

I'm so glad that you liked it, and took the time to read it. It means a lot.

[BlaqkShadow]

Excellent, breathtaking work, so beautifully crafted and expressed. The juxtaposition of the darkness and violence to the light and love is so well done it's truly amazing.
"The way she has saved me, and graced my life." is my favourite line because it has such emotion behind it, a tint of regret and longing mixed with love and adoration.
I hope you're proud of this because you certainly should be.

[Sally Hope]

Thank you so much, BlaqkShadow. I'm glad that you liked it. And I don't know if I'm proud of this piece, but it's definitely the closest to my heart. Thanks again for taking the time to read this.

[Amy D. Brooks]

This is beautiful! Great message, poignant theme, and great verbiage.

[Sally Hope]

I'm so glad you found it beautiful, Amy. Thanks for taking the time to read this; it means a lot.