If I Were You

Sometimes you're holding an angel, and you never even know.

 

IF I WERE YOU

 

If I were you, I'd hold her close.

Learn the color of her eyes, and let her know:

How precious she is - one of a kind;

The way she has saved me, and graced my life.

 

If I were you, I'd treat her right;

Know her worth in my worthless life.

Instead of gifting her with red bruises and blue-black eyes,

I'd adorn her with love - never let her go out of sight.

 

If I were you, I'd live in each hour,

And make them count, instead of leaving scars.

I'd give her love the value it deserves,

And memorize all her lines and misfit curves.

 

If I were you, I'd make it till the end.

Even if it felt wrong, or, if I had to pretend.

For you were not alone, anymore - there was your baby girl;

It was a conscious decision to bring the child into this world.

 

If I were you, I'd hold them close.

Listen to them, and let them know:

How precious they are - such a gift of life;

The way they saved me, and made my dreams aligned.

 

So, if I were you, I'd still be alive.

And shelter the family you've left behind.

But these are just words, and write is all I can do.

For, you're not here, and I'm not you.

*  *  *

Author's Note

Suggestions would be most welcome.

Reviews

[θεά]

This is very well written. A poem which can have multiple subjects for whom it is written, could be a father writing about his daughter, an admirer writing about a girl, or a witness to the abuses a girl is enduring in the hands of a not so caring man. I am proud of what you have achieved here as a mouthpiece to speak out against violence and abuse.

Despite its theme, it is not a laborious read, has a free flow to its stanzas and I would recommend this to be taken up as a poster cry for women's rights.

Best wishes,
M.

[Sally Hope]

Thank you for such a wonderful review, Mallika. It means so much to me that you think this piece could be used as a poster-cry for women's rights, specially considering the state of women around the world in recent times. Thank you again for taking the time to read this.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

This sure was a beautiful poem.
Very emotion filled deep and touching for sure.
Such a meaningful piece very moving and well written.
I really enjoyed it I liked the ending quite allot.
Keep writing :)

[Sally Hope]

Thank you for taking the time to read this, Cimmy! It means a lot that you liked it.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Your welcome anytime :)

[Romit]

It's one of the most beautiful thing I've read. Only suggestion- This poem shouldn't have an end, it's so simple and meaningful in it's own way that you could just read and read it, thanks for sharing!

[coldfume]

hello sally !!! i really like your poem .. it have a great beauty in it
keep up the good work

[armin]

moving and heartfelt. A great poetry with powerful wording.

Armin. .

[Sally Hope]

Thank you for taking the time to read this, Armin. Much appreciated.

[Robert Parlange]

Very beautiful and touching. I like the way you wrote this as a story; beginning, middle, end. A subtle condemnation of child abuse without anger overwhelming the message. Calm statement of facts. As a speech therapists, I had to deal with “damaged” children. It is hard to imagine how anyone could inflict such cruelty. And it's not just physical. The loss of trust is probably the most enduring wound.

Sorry if I went on a rant there. It is an emotional issue for me. I treated my dog better than some people treated their kids.

[Sally Hope]

Your "rant" is forgiven. Thank you for reading this.

[emmajoy]

' If I were you, I'd hold them close.'

This poem is set so elegantly, so precisely, that i expected differently, if you don't mind me saying so, tisn't a negative. The words could be so easily scattered and capitalised with excessive curses because the pointers are so utterly terrible.. each and every one. But then, maybe the calm, the concise, magnifies the meanings ... don't know. Just know that i feel it so deeply, sighing and gasping and in that final stanza... cringing. What you've written is a near flagship to Humanity.

[Sally Hope]

I've often found calm, precise words to be more effective than an angry ramble of nonsensical curses and loud outbursts. I tried formatting the text a bit, before deciding to let the words do the talking this time. There's just something about simplicity that screams to us to pay attention without shouting out loud, don't you think? :)

[emmajoy]

I do, indeed. You're a poet who knows how..

[zunie frost]

wow !! there is pain , sadness ,emotions in your poetry !!!
your words are so powerful i can feel it !!
really awsome piece of work
love this

[Sally Hope]

Thank you so much for that wonderful review, Zunie! It really means a lot that you took the time to read this.

[Miss Sharon]

Wow! Me thinks this one needs no suggestions at all. A very powerful and creative write my dear. Penn on! ~Sharon

[Sally Hope]

Thank you so much for reading this, Sharon! It always feels great to be reviewed by you.

[Saanika Tambe]

A beautifully written poem. Thanks for sharing

[Sally Hope]

You're welcome. And thanks for reading and reviewing it.