The Cynic

We are who we are.

THE CYNIC

The timeless traveler was a scrawny old man,

With a pipe blowing rings, and a wizard’s hat.

He sat on a bench, his skinny legs crossed -

A face like stone, and a heart of frost.

 

The little boy was young - just a mortal human,

With his eyes all red and swollen from tears.

A heavy heart within, and a brave face without,

He came and sat beside the man all feared.

 

The traveler looked o’er with a raised eyebrow.

“You seem sad,” remarked he in a drawling voice.

“I’m tired of life, and of this mean, cruel world,”

Cried the disheartened, lonely boy.

 

“Life is tiring, and the world is cruel -

The faster you learn it, the better,”

The old man said with a gleeful smirk,

And revealed an ancient letter.

 

“What on earth is that?” mused the puzzled boy,

As he watched the yellowed letter unfold.

“This,” replied the traveler with pride in his voice,

“Is the ancient knowledge of the wise and old.”

 

The boy was sceptical. He pouted and asked:

“What does your letter say about me?”

The old man smiled. “It says you’re just a boy -

Making mistakes, and learning to live.”

 

The boy blinked hard. The letter knows me?

Wondered he with a dawning joy.

“Does it say if I get to be happy?”

The boy asked with a hopeful voice.

 

The traveler scoffed. “Happiness! Ha!”

He shook his head with a resigned sigh.

“Happiness is an illusion, boy:

A cold trail we follow till we die.”

 

The boy’s eyes widened. “No…” he whispered.

“I have been happy in my life.”

The man shook his head. “You have not been happy;

You’ve just been less sad in your time.”

 

The boy refused to believe. “You are wrong.

We can be happy in all of our lives.”

The man raised both brows. “Boy, are you saying,

You truly believe in an afterlife?”

 

The boy shrugged. “Why should not we believe?

It gives us hope, and a reason to love.

After we’re gone, the remnants of our soul

Merges with that of the universe.”

 

The timeless traveler laughed out loud.

“You, naïve and young - inexperienced you!

The universe has far better tasks in hand,

Than care about what we mortals do.

 

“When we die, it is the end,

Of everything we ever thought or knew.

You see, boy, this giant universe

Is so much more than me or you.”

 

The boy blinked tears. “What about love?

Does your letter call it a waste of time?”

The traveler smiled. “Love is a mystery;

It is a sickness that affects our minds.

 

“It makes us think we are happy;

The euphoria is a dangerous drug.

Flawed and distrust and hatred,

Are a few other names for your love.”

 

The boy could hold his tears no longer.

“Is there any good in this world?”

The old man shrugged, and got to his feet.

“Ask that to someone you can trust.”

 

“But, whom to trust?!” the little boy asked.

“How would I know?” the man countered.

“I trust nobody, nor nobody trusts me,

And that’s the way it should always be.”

 

The boy watched the traveler walk away,

With dismay coloring his teary eyes.

When, suddenly, the old man stopped and turned,

His mouth set in a defiant line.

 

“Take this letter,” he told the boy,

And handed o’er the ancient page.

“It will help you when you feel

The world is a mean and cruel cage.”

 

When the traveler was gone, the boy unfolded the letter;

A smile touched his tear-stained face.

As he stared with awe at the thing in his hands:

A blank, unblemished, empty page.

*  *  *

 

Author's Note

These are the opinions of me and my best friend (guess, who's the cynic?). I thought this was a bit long, at first, but I simply couldn't trim it down. Hope you enjoy it. Suggestions would be most welcome.

Reviews

[David Scott]

Well, You had me with the first two lines... You grab the reader quickly here and I think this works well.
Honestly, you probably should give this poetry a little make over by working in a set meter and cleaning up a few spots of weak rhyme. This could read like a bards song and really have flow and energy pushing all the way through it and beyond. It is worth an hours work because it is very good.

In my life, my son is the cynic and I am the hopeful one, crying a tear for is heart and not my own: for I know where I am and where I will be... Yet he is in possession of youth and his page is mostly blank, with many lines to be yet written. This poem touched a cord because of this tie to my own world. Thank you for sharing your gift here.

[Sally Hope]

I really don't know how I skipped over this review. It makes me feel so, so humbled that you compared this to a Bards song (with flaws and weak rhymes :-) ), but that thought counts so much. Really, thank you. And it always makes me happy when anybody can relate to my work personally. I hope you can teach your son to be as hopeful as you, Sir.

[Jex]

This is really good, it reminds me of percy jackson in a way. Like a child getting ready to go on quest but had to get insight on how cruel the world is before him. Also about how happiness is a cold trail we follow, was one of my favorite lines and really made me thing about how as humans all we ever do is try to be happy. Keep up the good work

[Sally Hope]

Thanks so much for reviewing my work, Jex. Your comparison of Percy Jackson made me smile. Anything that reminds anybody of Percy HAS to be good, right? :-)

[B. Boileau]

Wow... this is really something special. A life lesson inside a bedtime story with a magical imaginative ending all rolled into one
Beautifully written, not too long at all. Poetic perfection!
Thank you for sharing !
bill

[Sally Hope]

I'm going over the reviews after an entire year (I know, I should be obliterated for my indolence), and reading your review made me smile. I never thought of this as a bedtime story, but once you pointed it out, it was so glaringly obvious, I wondered how I missed it. Thanks for making me feel like a teenage Hans Anderson.

[Willard Wells]

A very nice piece that I like a great deal. There was so much in this piece. Well Done.

[Sally Hope]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, Willard. It means a lot.

[Outdated Account]

This reminds me of a Dr. Seuss story, which may be any order of compliment or flaw depending on your goal. Usually, however, the writer does not get to determine what their poetry means. The exceptions to this being when the author has made a blatant statement one way or the writing is so obvious it leads every reader to the same meaning.

The meter is steady and the rhyme is predictable (again you could take this either way).

The picture of Gandalf before the poem both detracts and adds to the writing... if that makes sense. It misleads the reader by implying that the cynical old man is Gandalf (and it could be) and this poem is connected directly to the world of Tolkien (which it could be), but ultimately the poem has nothing to do with this. Gandalf is merely a wise old "wizard" and so is the cynic, the leap is nearly meaningless but it does add a depth of wisdom to the character you could not have written so easily.

One thing that really bothers me about writers (and what I often say divides the amateurs from the dedicated writers) is the inclusion of a copyright mark. Generally a site such as WC has a built in copyright protection clause that all members agree to, making the inclusion of a copyright mark superfluous (Writers Cafe includes an automatic copyright mark on the bottom left of every submission). On a deeper level though, it often gives the impression that the writer is either paranoid or gives an unrealistic value to their writing (or both). Sadly writers cannot assign value to their own work, that is the work of readers.

Good formatting though. I don't see that a lot on Writers Cafe.

[Sally Hope]

My intention was to create two characters, and make them talk with each other - their opinions, their thoughts, their perspective of the world ... And then, the readers would decide who they agreed with: The old man or the small boy. I often find poetry obscure, and such pieces often end up holding a different meaning to each reader. However, this wasn't one such piece. As you said, this was meant to be very obvious: The views of the characters had to be clear; it was the message they give that had to be subtle.

As for the rhyme, yes - I had meant it to be predictable. The conversation was the focus, and I thought a steady flow would be easier for the readers to follow. I hope I didn't assume wrong.

The picture ... Ah. Now, this one has no connection to the poem, whatsoever. And the poem has no connection to Tolkien's world. It was just that while writing the character of the cynic, I imagined Gandalf uttering these words in my head. That is the one and only reason why I chose the picture of Gandalf to attach with this piece.

And third, the copyright mark. Honestly, I hadn't noticed until I read your review that there was a copyright mark of any sort on this site (You can rest assured I shall also go for an eye check-up, next week *Grin*). I have no intention of adding superfluous words to any of my works; neither do I have any intention of typing extra text. I have already deleted all the copyright marks from the works I've posted here. However, I shall have to disagree with you on the assigning of value to a work. I believe us, writers, to be artists, and when an artist values his or her work, it's not paranoia, it is veneration. We can never be dedicated to this form of art if we do not value our own artistry.

I am also glad that you liked the formatting. Formatting is often understated, when it's really another term for "first impression" in the art of writing and posting. I agree with you that it should be more looked into.

Finally, thank you so, so much for this review. It was really helpful, and I do look forward to being reviewed by you in the future.

[Chris]

I think you had honest fun when you worked this one out... strange how the mind does that isn't it? Any "work" is the length it needs to be - when you're finished and finely satisfied.

[Sally Hope]

I did have fun writing this, and snatching all the worldly views my best friend had, and squashing them like meat. And I'm grateful that you didn't find it long. Thank you.

[Chris]

I think we have ALL written an Epic Poem a time-or-two... perhaps you will too?

[Sally Hope]

EPIC is not planned; it simply happens. The day it happens again, that day it gets posted here.

[Chris]

I so agree... the words find their route to the pages...

[Sally Hope]

And then to the screen ...

[Chris]

That's just too Harry Potter...

[Sally Hope]

What's wrong with Harry Potter?! *GLARE*

[Chris]

Chuckling here - The Deathly Hollows WAS one book... so was Mockingjay... The Hobbit ... Don't ever sell "greed" short or how others always take an author's signature effort and rewrites it, revisualizes it, adds and subtracts (even to main plots and characters - for the DRAMA?!?) at their whim and remakes it to their own (most usually lessor - sigh) vision.

[Sally Hope]

Firstly, that will be "Hallows", not "Hollows". J.K.Rowling has yet to publish a book named "The Deathly Hollows". And, as for the rest of your advice, I shall take it with a pinch of salt. (I'm a very open-minded person, you see). I understand what you're trying to say. Yes, the flow does dim a bit, and the characters do get slightly clichéd after one point, but ... IT'S HARRY POTTER! (My shouty capitals now close the case).

[Chris]

Well corrected and gently said.

[Sally Hope]

I am a very GENTLE PERSON AT HEART! *Meditating*

[Dani The Unreviewed]

It is a great story, with a really unexpected ending. nice job. :)

[Sally Hope]

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm glad you liked it :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

No prob. :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Wow! This is beautiful! Touched me so much!
Long but totally worth it.

This world could be a maze!
Both the characters, who you say are not at all fictional but indeed you and your friend, are exceptionally smart to exchange such worldly wisdom!

Loved this piece!

PS: I guess you are the Cynic! :)

[Sally Hope]

Thank you so much, Jyoti! I'm glad that you liked it. And, yeah, you've guessed correctly :D

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

You are welcome.
But to put Dumbledore's picture is a great idea!

[R Smith]

I thought this was an excellent story, the pursuit of happiness is a difficult task in this world when once you have that you desired, then another more shiny thing jumps up and begs you to follow it, so we go ever on until we see through such illusion, maybe then we see the blank page, great work, bravo my friend :)

[Sally Hope]

I'm so glad that you liked it. The pursuit of happiness is indeed an illusion, and a blank page is what awaits us on the other side. Thank you for taking the time to read this :)

[BlaqkShadow]

Fabulous work, testament that no matter what perceptions of the world we may have, our futures are our own to write. I loved reading this, it's a very creative and well written piece. Thank you for this x

[Sally Hope]

Thanks, BlaqkShadow :) It really means a lot that you took the time to read this.