Conscience

Conscience

A Story by Sakib

It seems to be an ingrained savoir faire that reminds me of a blurry past, images nagging at my conscious. I feel like I have walked through this road many times, but I can't recall what exactly this place has to do with me. The place is so crowded, yet I can't get out of the quiet that is weaved into the surroundings.

People are walking, strolling through life. Some people are gathered in a tea stall, staring at me and somehow they seem disappointed with me. But I don't know what it is. I ignore them, telling myself to cool down. I try to console myself. 

I see a young girl holding some flowers in her hands approaching me. She gives me a smile and I smile back. I feel a little relieved, getting company that does not look condescending. She asks me to buy one of her flowers. I check my pockets and find them empty. I tell her I don't have any money. Her smile fades. She leaves me. It hits me like a sucker punch, her leaving. I feel terrible. Or maybe just disappointed. I ignore her too. Conscience clear.

I walk forward, wondering what is ahead of me. I see a middle aged woman standing at a bus stand. I wonder why she has caught my attention. Do I know her? She turns her face towards me and gives me a look that suggests she is relieved to see me. I get close to her. A bus stops and she holds my hand. We take seats. She leans her head on my shoulder. I don't know what to say. I wonder if she will feel awkward if I ask her who she is and why I am here.

I am puzzled. I don't know where this bus is taking us. I look through the window. Everything seems so old but strangely familiar. Then suddenly she whispers, “Everything has changed.” I wonder what that means.

The bus stops. She takes me to an open field, maybe a park where many children are playing. We sit on a bench. She is observing me, searching for something in my expressions. I try to look her in the eyes but fail. A little boy comes to her. She takes him in her lap. I look at that boy and somehow I feel I have some connection with him.

I fall prey to deep thoughts.


http://www.thedailystar.net/rising/2012/02/03/back.htm

© 2012 Sakib


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Featured Review

You have revealed high caliber of writing to provoke the readers. The last paragraph has amazed me. I conceive that not only have you reflected the descending of conscience in society, but, also implied the narrator's loss of memory (possibly due to senility). There is a distinct anomaly in his circumstances, yet, his desire to identify his surroundings hold hims to try to find the value of those including his seeming wife.
Congratulations on getting your writing published on the Rising Stars! =)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Well Done! Keep it up! Do u read mine 2 TIME if possible then gives ur review.. U can also add me on facebook

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nice to read your work after a long time! Nice piece!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I enjoyed the story. People can touch us with a small conversation and their smile. I like the good description and the trip to the open field. A very good ending to a outstanding story. Thank you.
Coyote

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wow this was really something i have read really deep love it :P

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You have revealed high caliber of writing to provoke the readers. The last paragraph has amazed me. I conceive that not only have you reflected the descending of conscience in society, but, also implied the narrator's loss of memory (possibly due to senility). There is a distinct anomaly in his circumstances, yet, his desire to identify his surroundings hold hims to try to find the value of those including his seeming wife.
Congratulations on getting your writing published on the Rising Stars! =)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Amazing piece of writing....

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was realy interesting, I would have liked to have read more, you portrayed the insecurity well, and created interest with the characters you introduced, it felt like a guided meditation to me, as if all the people in this story were you. Thankyou.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oooo...this was nice! I like it. Very interesting. =)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A mix between the metaphorical and the physical reality. A door opens. Keep your eyes open. Nice!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on March 3, 2012
Last Updated on March 3, 2012

Author

Sakib
Sakib

Dhaka, Bangladesh



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