You break my Heart

For my Marla.

Tonight I'm drunk off your kiss

Its becoming way to ridiculous

I can feel your heart jammed into my spine

Baby you've lost your touch

Don't forget your screams

I swear I'll be just fine

I swear I'll be the one to die

Put a bullet in my brain and I'll call it a night

Baby are you comfortable with this?

And now as the sun begins to rise

I can't find you my surprise

This is how our hearts they collide

What if I keep you by my side?

I swear you'll never make me leave

F**k that heart on my sleeve

I could tell you stories of a better time

When we thought you and me

We thought we were fine

And now your drowning in me

And Baby can't you see?

I'm not worth it, I'm far from perfect

And I'll swallow your ashes with Red Rum

You just couldn't keep your hand off that gun

Could you Baby?

Reviews

[Jacky Bones]

this one feels much better
yet again some lines could be tweaked
but over all i enjoyed this one much more then the suicidal thing
6.8/10
main problem i have with it is some of the predictable rhymes in this its not exactly a bad thing but it would be nice to see a little fun with the words

[Snow412]

Interesting. The poem has beautifully dark progression. For all the angsty poems that I have read, yours are by far the most appealing and realistic. Yes, that is a compliment.

Very good write here.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

razor sharp visuals that pop like little beads of blood blisters right against the mental screen~ a thriling crazed scream sharply applied~ well done~