Blood will always tell, so they say, and my blood sings and growls and groans, as it gushes out on dark obscure wings down to the pits of hell where my forefathers founded genocide and sought criminal urges.
Blood will always tell,
and my father was a drunk, and my mother never listened, and my grandfather ignored his children, and my grandmother turned blind eyes, and the other reached for the bottle and the barrel, and no one ever slept soundly at night.
Blood will always tell,
as it gives away the resemblance of my eyes to those of another kind; traces bright green and fierce, passionate, mad, and wild; unseen, unfathomable urges buried within my bones; and my skin, the pale canvas on which my trickster ancestors’ stories are written, and they continue to deceive through me because,
Blood will always tell,
and the blood is strong in traitor and martyr alike if for different reasons; which is more wrong is a question of the seasons; regardless we all have roots, and those roots wander and stay deep within us and leave their mark’s like.
Blood will always tell,
what the voice will never say: and yet it says nothing. Nothing at all, as silent as a word unread on the page but in boldface for though it is unheard:
the dna in our red blood that starts out blue, is the blueprint of all our ancestor's wisdom, compassion, and misgivings.. its what has stirred evolution, since the beginning..
but how much are we bound to these scarlet schemes that have been coursing through a stream of genesis, thrust to gush, over and over
blood is, thick, that is for sure but so is revolution and the will of vicissitude
Wonderful self-criticism.
May be a lesson for us who live now and let us take vow that we will not ignore our children.
Love these lines:
"Blood will always tell,
and the blood is strong
in traitor and martyr alike
if for different reasons;"
"and my father was a drunk,
and my mother never listened,
and my grandfather ignored his children,
and my grandmother turned blind eyes,
and the other reached for the bottle and the barrel,
and no one ever slept soundly at night."
that part, gave me a little bit of a chill.
This poem was amazing, i absolutely loved it, incredible write.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Thank you! It gave me a bit of a chill writing it, to be honest, but the image was quite clear, what.. read moreThank you! It gave me a bit of a chill writing it, to be honest, but the image was quite clear, what blood can do to other blood being very terrible... I'm so glad you loved it. :)
11 Years Ago
Aboslutely, i really connected with it, you're writing is always great :)
the dna in our red blood that starts out blue, is the blueprint of all our ancestor's wisdom, compassion, and misgivings.. its what has stirred evolution, since the beginning..
but how much are we bound to these scarlet schemes that have been coursing through a stream of genesis, thrust to gush, over and over
blood is, thick, that is for sure but so is revolution and the will of vicissitude
I should have liked to read more of the close rhyming that occurred in places as I think it would have provided a structural filigree that is more in keeping with the background material that inspired it. But that is merely preference. On the whole, I agree with Jacob; it lost momentum and coherency after the first stanza. However, that is not to say I didn't like it. I did. Let the shipping begin.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Hmmm I really need to tease this a bit >.> That will have to be saved for a night when I'm not super.. read moreHmmm I really need to tease this a bit >.> That will have to be saved for a night when I'm not super exhausted, but I think I will edit soonish to play with it a bit, see if I can't keep that momentum going. Thanks for the useful feedback. :D And I know it's not greatly reminiscent of its source of inspiration; I was basically just running with that line and the inspiration it gave me. I think it could definitely benefit for some more close rhyming though. Ship away!
I feel we all need to become aware of and often apologise for our past. We are all a product of our deeds and the peccadillos of our ancestors.... be it through nature or nurture. But we could all be blood brothers and sisters together.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
An insightful review, I couldn't agree more. :) We can always choose to change our fate and atone fo.. read moreAn insightful review, I couldn't agree more. :) We can always choose to change our fate and atone for our past if we wish too. It starts with awareness and honesty.
Not familiar with the source material, but these words stand on their own! I liked the repetition of "Blood will always tell". Telling tales of life, death... Passion is born in the blood, it makes us fight, and can also make us write! Favorite lines: "as silent as a word unread on the page" Wow, that one hit the mark!!! Excellent work, thanks for sharing !
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed. I was watching a show (based on the book I mentioned) where the lin.. read moreThank you! I'm glad you enjoyed. I was watching a show (based on the book I mentioned) where the line was mentioned and then suddenly something clicked into place....and this happened. xP
12 Years Ago
funny how ideas sometimes just sneak up on us when we least expect them!
i understand having this all remain...but feel the first three stanzas would make a perfect impact...seems the last two stanzas are just add-ons...
the first three slammed me and the repetition of the blood line worked so well...
but then it lost me a little after that as far as momentum...
just thoughts...
jacob
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Ooh, interesting insight. I will definitely give that some consideration for editing. I wrote this a.. read moreOoh, interesting insight. I will definitely give that some consideration for editing. I wrote this all in one go without giving the length any thought, so another perspective doesn't hurt at all... Thanks for the useful feedback! I never shy away from an honest critique; anything to make my poetry flow better. :)
I'm a 20 year old Spanish major with a double minor in English and Latin American studies. I love reading, writing, and contemplating the confounding patterns and puzzles that make up reality; I dabbl.. more..