Relaciones

Playing with double entendre--in Spanish. ;)

Ábreme a mí

con los labios;

Di mi nombre

y hazme libre.

No te alejes 

ni un segundo--

Porque te irías

con mi alma,

Una pieza de mi,

mi esencia

Que llevas contigo,

mi corazón.

Razones de querer estar

junto a ti--

Me llenas, te lleno;

me comes, te comes bueno.

Translation:

Open me up
with your lips;
Say my name
and set me free.

Don't walk away,
not for a second--

because you would leave

with my soul,

A piece of me,

my essence,

That you carry with you,

my heart.

Reasons to want to be

with you:

You fill me, I fill you;

You eat me (what I prepare); you gorge yourself (and eat good).

Author's Note

There may be some mistakes--I'm not a native speaker, though I am certainly working to become fluent. Please let me know if there's anything I could fix or write better!
I added a translation. It's hard to capture the double entendre; it doesn't translate that well, but I tried to add some hints at least.

Reviews

[外人 (Gaiji..]

Finally !!! I've been waiting for so long to read a poem written in a language different from English in WC !! I thought I was the only one writing them ahahah
I don't speak Spanish, but I do speak Portuguese which is quite close, in fact I've understood everything (got some doubts on the first stanza, though).
Loved the poem, it is so expressive regardless of how short it is !

[Amanda Granger]

Ah oi, muita obrigada! :) Estou aprendendo Portugues agora...but I can't really speak it yet haha, just some words and phrases and basically converting Spanish to Portuguese (which doesn't always work xD). It's a lovely language, and yes, very close to Spanish but different in some tricky ways too.

Anyway, thank you so much for the review! The first couple lines may be bad for natives too as I'm not quite sure if it's expressed as well as it should be. I agree, I've been looking for more people who do non-English poetry/writing too. I have more Spanish stuff I've written that I would really love to have read/reviewed/corrected, but so far I haven't found anyone who speaks Spanish on here. Hopefully that'll change.

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Looking forward to reviewing some of your work, too.

[外人 (Gaijin)]

Well, I'm def looking for your spanish poems ;) Serio? Estas aprendendo Portugues? Que bom ! =D Se precisar de ajuda, estou aqui ;) Well, can't wait for your reviews =D

[Amanda Granger]

Seee, serio! :) Eu pratico capoeira e assim aprendo frases e cancoes, mas tenho muito a aprender. So I would love help! Obrigada! But yes, it's too easy to fall back on Spanish when I don't know something in Portuguese and spell things wrong >.> hehe with more practice hopefully I'll get better.

[Tree]

I never made it to the english translation. I thought you nailed it with your first version. Sensual and well formatted, this poem fell from the top of the page to the bottom, like a hand Full of scattered rose petals. Nicely done

Diego

[Amanda Granger]

Wow, I'm only just now seeing this! Gracias, Diego! Me alegro que te gustara. :D

[Antonio Valentino]

this is just so gorgeous Amanda! I used a spanish to english translator online so i was able to, comprendo... both my parents were mexican american but i hardly speak any spanish at all.. aye yigh yigh haha..

this was just very sensual in a loving way.. I liked the part about, opening you up with the lips that you named to be free.. that is just such a lovely thought...

and to, not go away because they would take, your essence with them, your heart, lingering as their sweet sustenance that you shared together..

very beautiful as only you could express

:)

[Amanda Granger]

I'm glad you were able to glean the meaning via google translate; the double entendre probably doesn't translate well or seem as clever as it did when it occurred to me, but ohhh well. :P Hahaha. Thank you so much, as always your reviews are always so nice and thoughtful. :)

[sithlordjp]

Oh no! Wish I could read this one, but sadly can't ! I'm sure it's beautiful though!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

back in 1970 i might have been able to read this...but spanish i knew was so long ago...

i pick up a few words here and there.