Writer’s P[light at the end of the tunnel]

About something I feel most writers have probably went through. Feeling thwarted, trying to write past writer's block is the worst.

Writing is pain--
         bones cracking to the sound of syllables
                peeled from the soft skin of my hands
                        plucked from the red of my eyes
                                  ripped from my heart…

Torture, sweet torture--
          laying liver and scar tissue bare
                  weening on eternal sleepless nights
                             on a metro of thought that never stops
                                    not till my brain’s bled dry, thoughts
                                          like life fluid leaked out, spilled ink
                                               drying, staining, muddying the page…

Anxiety, my friend, old friend--
           enemy of apathy,
                   he takes care of me
                       all night as I
                           release it all
                                   on the page,
                                      leaving me:
                                             thin,
                                                 scarred,
                                                        dead,
                                                            drunk,
                                                                drained,
                                                                    broken--

And yet, sweet irony,
through pain,
I am renewed
and moved
forward. 

Author's Note

I played around with the form.

Reviews

[sithlordjp]

"Writing is pain." It sure is. Why are we putting ourselves through this...? I enjoy writing, the freedom it gives me, the self free therapy it provides... But then there is the doubt, the anxiety, the self-censoring rewriting... Then it cools off, the beast is tamed, for an hour, a week, a month. Then another idea comes to the surface, takes all the place, distracts you until you address it and work it out on paper (or on the screen...!). Everytime we are "renewed", as you so perfectly put it. Then there is the next death, and the next rebirth, and so on... But that is not what struck me the most about this piece. I was really intrigued about the form, the choices you made in the layout of the words. I had to read it a few times to get the full effect. I felt like I was out of breath. Yes, like we are running fast, trying to catch up with thoughts that want to be written down. Hurry, write the next line before you lose it kind of situation... Very interesting, thought provoking and smart. Loved it!

[Amanda Granger]

Oh, excellent review, jp! My thoughts exactly. It can really tax the nerves and drive you crazy (I kinda go into the other effects in my poem "ode to insomnia" because insomnia is usually a big side effect of jarred and jarring inspiration). Especially writing for classes/deadlines. I love to write, but it can be very draining in large bursts or when I'm already under a lot of stress, and the self-censoring and doubt... Great insight about the layout! That's exactly how it is. :P Thanks so much for reviewing. ^^

[p.kuhl]

hey, this has some really great rhythm. not my voice, but a strong other voice that makes me lose my own for a moment. true poetry, thanks for sharing

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

Yes I can relate to this, neat format. I adore the lines:

he takes care of me
all night as I
release it all
on the page,