NO WAI

What happens when a couple of Halo nerds see...the Recanz. Note: if you're not a Halo gamer, you won't understand any of this.

NO WAI

 

A small boy named Fred, better known to his gaming buddies as xxxiHaVeHoStNo0bxxx, was in a party with his friend Michael, called xkillasnipeszerzX. They were on Halo 3, matchmaking in Team Slayer, waiting to find more people.

"Why can't we find anybody?" complained Michael. "There are fifty THOUSAND people matchmaking in Team Slayer alone, and we can't find six."

"I know," said Fred, his squeaky voice resonating unpleasantly throughout Michael's ears. "But everyone in this playlist is a hacker or a lagger anyway." They both reminisced unhappily about the last game, where the other two members on their team quit and they were spawn camped by grenade-happy Generals and Brigadiers with a need to inflict BR pain.

Finally, five other people joined their game, and there was just the last open spot that needed to be filled. However, through the wonders of the matchmaking system, they magically were unable to find the last person before the group timed out and they were sent back to matchmaking.

"GOD!" yelled Michael. "Why is it that whenever there's just one player left, the matchmaking system lags to hell and won't get us anyone?" Suddenly the game was filled, and they went to the lobby. Team BRs on Last Resort popped up, and Michael and Fred immediately vetoed. It didn't look like anyone else was going to veto, so they began to flip through the players, checking their service records.

Suddenly, Michael heard a sharp intake of breath from Fred. "What is it?" Michael asked.

"Dude..." Fred seemed lost for words. "Check out Firestorm's profile."

Curious, Michael clicked on Firestorm's service record...and was struck dumb. There, in full view, was a shining set of Recon armor. Straining to remember the names of the Bungie employees, Michael realized that this man--no, this GOD...was NOT and employee, and must have done something so amazing, so spectacular, that he earned Recon. Could this be the man that sniped himself? Or got splattered by a cone? Or did some other incredible feat.

He was on the other team, and just as Fred and Michael jumped out of the party to talk to him, the game started. "DARNIT!" yelled Fred, and immediately grunts of pain and shock reverberated throughout their team before Fred was muted. Fred rushed the sniper blindly and was headshotted by Firestorm, who had gotten the sniper on the other side of the map.

Michael tried a more tactical approach, crouch-walking to Firestorm's position. Firestorm glanced his way and disappeared behind a rock; wary, Michael crouch-walked to Firestorm's last-seen position. Using Michael's own tactic, the Recon man crouch-walked behind Michael and quickly assassinated him.

The game continued this way, until finally Firestorm's team won 50-23. They were back in the lobby, and Fred yelled, "How did you get your Recon?"

"What?" asked Firestorm.

"I said, HOW DID YOU GET YOUR RECON? Did you splatter yourself with a cone, or get a perfection in Team Swat? WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"Oh, my Recon? Oh, I got those off the Vidmasters." Then Firestorm left.

Feeling apathetic, Fred and Michael got off.

Author's Note

I hope you enjoyed. My GT's COB Sagemind--add me and tell me you're from Writerscafe.