The Story of Hollywood

An account of my adventures in Hollywood.

The Story of Hollywood

 

Okay, so first of all: there are people in costumes that demand you take pictures with them for money. Well, not exactly, that's exaggerating a bit. But they'll invite you over, ask you if you want it, etc. There's nothing exactly wrong with that, except the costumes should be fairly well-done, right? Not according to the Hollywood people. Yoda was five foot five and, as the costume face was very saggy, the wearer had to cut eyeholes above the actual eyes. The Superman we spotted from across the street had a prominent beer belly, and Supergirl had a neck brace.

Of course, the Spider-Men had to have, in place of the two-way mirrors, eyeholes in their masks. Me being five foot six, I was taller than the Freddy Kreuger they had there. In fact, the best two costumes I saw were Hulk and Jason Voorhees, and frankly, those are pretty hard to mess up.

I saw Race to Witch Mountain there, and when we came out there was a freaking HUGE war protest strolling right on by the theater. They even had police mounted on horses behind the protest ready to step in should they get too rowdy. From what I could tell, there wasn't much danger of that; they were angry, but organized.

I also saw some crazy outfits and people there, like a chick in a tight black miniskirt (I think...I was mostly staring at her legs), torn pink fishnet stockings, and a massive pink afro. I saw guys with black lipstick and a bunch of earrings strolling along next to girls in similar attire, and I saw a probably drug dealer try, and fail, to make a sale.

I went to Ripley's Believe It Or Not, and it had some of the most gruesome injuries I'd ever seen, like a guy who took a 2x4 through the head and lived--he actually made it to the hospital under his own power. Wow. There was a guy who triggered a gas explosion and killed four or five people, and his shirt was found fluttering on a clothesline, completely unharmed. There were chastity belts, and thumbscrews, and a bunch of other torture devices, as well as a genuine Vampire slaying kit and a two-headed baby skeleton. There were women that could fit hubcaps in their lips and authentic penis sheaths (made in Africa).

There were models of deformed animals, statues of Marilyn Monroe made out of worn out dollar bills, optical illusions that seemed quite real and models of the Half Ton Man and the Chinese man with four pupils. There were also models of a guy that was 8' 11" and someone that at twenty feet of sausage in one sitting.

 

Those are just a few of the things I saw on my Hollywood trip!

Reviews

[Melanie]

Well that was definitly not what I expected! I didn't get the impression that the place seemed clean to you... is that true? (Curious - I'm visiting Cali in May.) Then again, Ripley's in Orlando is equally as... odd. I liked that you used so many visuals and the commentary mixed in. Honestly, I didn't like the ending. I would have kept reading. Also, you might consider grounding the reader to the narrator (you) with details like why you were there or what your 'real life' is, however your voice really carried the piece for you. You sound like one of my buddies telling me about his trip, and I liked that ease of the words. Thanks for the mementary vacation - It was interesting!