Dear Earth

An alien's letter to Earth.

Dear Earth

 

Dear Earth,

 

First of all, let me just say that the only reason I'm sending this letter and not vaporizing you right now is that my superiors forced me to. If it were my choice, you would have been dead almost right after you started. You made so many mistakes right from the start...it's surprising.

But then, that's why you're Earthlings. It seems making mistakes is part and parcel of what you are.

This is a letter to give you an opportunity. An opportunity to change your ways. You have pollution, you have crime, you have pain, you have wars. I mean, pain? Over here, that went out of fashion a couple thousand years ago. But I digress.

You're releasing toxins into the surrounding atmosphere that we're getting all the way over here (26 trillion light-years, to be perfectly exact), you're progressing at a remarkably slow rate (you just figured out space travel? Good for you), and to be honest, you're a strangely inept species. So us Krakorians took a vote. Not whether or not to kill you, but how to kill you. There were three options. Eat you was the first one, but everyone knows that human meat tastes somewhat like dung. The second was to melt you, but that would leave much too much mess in the surrounding atmosphere, and you've already made enough of that. The third was to vaporize you, which is what most voted for.

But my superiors, who are of a different race than us, are a bit more...empathic would be the best word. I personally disagree with their decision, but they forced me to give you a chance.

So here it is: you must improve. You must become a civilization wihout insanity, without criminals and without war, where your able can prosper and those of you who are honest can have rights, and where you are free to rise to greater heights. Those should be your goals. And you must do it in a hundred thousand years or less. If not, your race will be wiped out.

Do not spend time debating if this letter is real. Do not spend time deciding whether or not to follow my commands. Simply do so, for you're humans, and you'll need all the time you can get.

Or I will personally fry you all.

 

In Contempt,

 

Jaskran Korr, Krakorian Fleet Admiral

Author's Note

I tried to make it from the view of an alien--and of a race of aliens--who kind of hold us in contempt. What to you guys think?

Reviews

[daftinklings]

Sometimes aliens do get angry, but I agree with Shawn St. Clair that it does seem too human. Most aliens writers creater do have human aspects, because the writers are still, human, we can never escape that. However, we can try to be as strange as possible.

The tone of the letter is something a very irate and annoyed human would write. I don't think it's even believable. If I were the human to read it, I'd think it was a stupid prank made by some annoyed environmentalist.

You should make the letter sound more alien I think. I don't know how you're gonna go about doing that, but I'm sure you can do it.

[Shawn StClair]

The letter is very human. For the most part it sounds like it is from some angry bitter person who's trying to get his/her children to do what they are told. It's an interesting idea, and the most intriguing part is where it says that his/her superiors are another race. That brings up some interesting questions, but other then that the letter is a bit plain. I mean no offense by any of that, just trying to be constructive. If this were a letter from an alien race, more then likely an advanced civilization many decades or centuries ahead of us, then they probably wouldn't exhibit such human emotions. Obvious anger for one would put me in mind of a race of beings that either like to start fights or just conquer other beings for their own reasons. Either of those two types probably wouldn't be sending a letter, they would just get right down to the vaporizing. A letter would hint at a more civilized culture and one without pain would hint at a lack of emotions or at least more control over their emotional state. With the hint of an empathic race in charge over them I would go with the lack of emotions.

Id recommend trying to remove the anger from the letter. Maybe turn it into disappointment or a lack of understanding all together. You could try a more haughty attitude rather then angry, a better then though kind of thing. Also, instead of giving a time frame you might try saying that they will be watching to see if steps are taken to resolve the situation. All of that might help to give it a feel of alien-ness. Hope that helps.