He Cannot Wait

There once was a boy, who said he was "happy" and would never need anyone else. He thought love was not worth it... That nothing good can come from love, for he comes from a broken home. He soon found, he had fallen in love with a girl, with a girl in his math class... "She'll never want me.... She'd never love me... I mean, what do I have to offer.?" And as they got closer, his love for her only grew stronger and stronger...Days would come and go, he'd try to focus on something else. But alas, she's all that ever crossed his mind. Day after day, night after night. What he didn't understand was how just a thought, a mere mental image of her... Made his heart beat, made him melt.He spent hours each night, writing songs, poems, stories just to show himself how much he was falling for her, how quickly he was falling in love with her.
Late at night he sat. He sat and thought of possible ways to ask her out... To somehow win her over. At the end of the day, he was scared... He was afraid she'd reject him, she'd laugh in his face or walk away. But most of all, we was afraid of harming the delicate rose she was.
He was afraid if he showered her with affection, their friendship, and she, would wither away.
Every day, he tried to think of ways to tell her, call her, text her, write her a poem, sing to her...
But he couldn't....He conjured up the last bit of courage he had to ask her, then... she dated.... and his heart fell cold... He felt he.... Had nothing left... He didn't understand why.... All he wanted was her to be happy, and so he stayed silent. His pain, his troubles and his feelings went unheard.
He then seemed a relationship, something to remind him he's still but barely alive. He found someone... Or so he thought. This relationship...
This abusive, harmful relationship..... He told himself he loved her... That he wanted her....
But he didn't....
It wasn't the same....
He told himself the pain and abide he went through.... He deserved.....
He did everything he could to try to believe he was happy and in love....
And he was..... But with her.... Not his girlfriend....He tried to hint at it... But he's not very clever. He tried to tell her, but instead showed her other things.
His girlfriend left him, turning all the blame to him, he felt he had nowhere to turn.... He heart had been numb.... But he still.... Only thought of her. Her brown eyes with a tint of green, her hair that looked silk. Her voice, not even angels could surpass... Everything about her... Made him want her more.
He had spoken to their mutual friend.... Never mentioning her name... He had no idea what to do.... This love for her consumed him....
In the darkest hours, the coldest nights. She was still, the only thing on his minds....
One night he said to himself, enough is enough, I must think of a way to tell her....
He made up a story, about two other people he "liked". Two people he wished to woo... He thought to himself, she'd never know it wasn't true. All he really wanted was her.
One night they talked and he told himself to say it. Say it. Say it.
She asked him who he liked... So he listed off three... A girl, a boy and her.
He stared at his computer... Both scared and relieved.... He didn't know what he had done... But at that point didn't care. "She knows now... And that's all that matters"
He minimized the tab, trying to regain his breath, a small ding sounded.... Hesitantly he opened it, to find she liked him too....
A rush of bliss.... A rush of warmth.... A rush and happiness filled his body and soul.
His fear of her ignoring him.... Oh him, making it awkward because he had told in such a stupid way made him feel like nothing could ever happen....
Shortly after he began to think... "She could never want someone with so many scars, with so many things he has to hide... She would never love someone as suicidal and depressed as he....
They wouldn't be together no matter how much he wanted it" School ended, he walked with their mutual friend as he always did... Then stopped, as the friend crossed the street he told himself "today's the day. I'm going to ask her..." He walked over to where he knew she hung out after school. He glomped her, as he usually did.... As an excuse to hold her close... To feel her heart beat... To her her breathing. He opened his mouth to ask, but instead acted like an idiot to make her laugh. As they walked across the dirt, closer to the street, she turned to him... And asked him out... At that moment. That few seconds, his heart raced, his mind went blank, his tongue twisting I unspoken words. He wanted to kiss her... He wanted to pull her into a hug,and kiss her. He wanted to hug her tightly and never let go. It's only been six days since then, but he feels so alive. For once in his life... He's truly happy...
And although it may be too soon to think about this. For the subject to come up... He lays in bed at night, one his side, dreaming of one day waking up to her... Of never having to part from her... He dreams of the day he will get down on one knee. Not a minute passes by, where she doesn't cross his mind. Not a moment passes by when he doesn't want to hold her. He wants to hold her, love her, protect her, giver her his jacket when she's cold, cover her head when it rains.
He wants to take her out every Friday, he wants to kiss her in the rain....
He wants to love her forever. He wishes they were out of school, there would be nothing limiting him to how he could see her.
He simply cannot wait.