Insanity

Please bash and give ANY ideas or thoughts you have.

 

The ominous clouds were heavy and dark,
Strewn across her midnight skies.
She bore an evil mark,
Beneath her mask of lies.
In and out of your life she went,
leavening drops of vermilion sin.
Bloody roses and scarlet tears,
Were what lie inside her mind of fears.
Angelic lips hold Satan’s grin.
Iridescent eyes,
Framed by pale skin.
Long silver hair,
Streaked with drops of rain, 
She sat upon the mountain tops,
And slowly went insane.
As her soul slipped away,
Her body lie still,
And forever dead,
But the voices still remained,
Screaming inside her head.

Author's Note

Anything wrong or that u dont like, point it out and I will take it into consideration. Thank you :)

Reviews

[Lee E. Powell]

"Her body lie still,
And forever dead,
But the voices still remained,
Screaming inside her head."

This was absolutly awesome!!

I love this dark type of writing. I don't normally read poetry, but I HAD to read yours, simply because of the subject matter and I have not been disappointed. When i get more time, i'll make it an effort to read more of your material.

[Prince of Poetry]

"Angelic lips hold Satan's grin.
Iridescent eyes,
Framed by pale skin."


...I like...great line awesome poem ms. lady

[Joseph - Michael]

First of all, never take the reviews and the comments into the considerations. It's the best to listen to the others to know why, then take their words by adapting the words, afterward, you'll keep them in mind next time you write something news. That's when you'll become a better writer.

Anyway, I don't see anything wrong with it at all. All I saw was that it's well written and well detailed. I enjoyed it very much so...

[Kristine]

this poem expresses wonderful imagery, which i personally love because it helps get a feel for the poem.
good job.

[;]

This was so powerful...I don't finad anything wrong with your poem...I read this poem while i was listening to "Sweet Sacrifice" by Evanescence and it gave a good feeling to the poem espeacially sing the firat verse is "It's true we're all a little insane"...Your poem was great all by itself while i read it i pictured a goodess who can't go home and stay's on a mountain top where slowly but surely she goes insane! Wonderful write!

[Angelzzz]

I liked it. kinda reminded me of one of my peices i did a while ago.