Chapter 1: Into The Blackened Forest

Twenty years ago the lands to the Dovahzul Kingdom flourished in peace and harmony. Everything was perfect. Then, on the eve of the crowning of King Draco, a Witch named Alice appeared. She snuck into the castle and took over the monarchy with a little of her black magic, this created havoc for the people of the Dragon Kingdom and disrupted the very peace the King created. 

The Nixes knew she would be no match for their gifts given to them by their goddess Diana, but what they didn't know is that Alice had a few tricks up the sleeves of her dress. She weaved her dark magic and used it to corral the family, restraining them from using what magic they had to offer. Her wicked cackles filled the castle walls and seeped out into the gardens where, unknowing to her, laid the third born child to the King and his husband with his four children.

The young male, small and frail, shook in fear for the lives of his beloved offspring. The hope he held so strong that the evil woman wouldn't soon find them slowly slipped away from him as the sounds of his family's cries filled his ears. He couldn't believe what was happening, how someone like her could easily take over and destroy all the work his parents had done to keep their people safe and happy. It was beyond him.

No matter what this Witch did, he would never allow her to harm his children; even if it meant giving up his own life just to ensure theirs keeps on going for him. Soon, however, the very woman he was so frightened of came crashing through one of the large pillars and skid across the dirt path to the gardens. 

Fearful screams surfaced from the hedges, tiny bodies shaking as they struggled to keep themselves hidden from the demented woman's eyes. She quickly rose to her feet, staggering as she made herself follow the sound of their wails. With a snap of her fingers, the leaves on the hedges fell and rotted, leaving them bare and the four small children visible as well as the slightly larger parent of theirs. Alice smirked, a smirk that would send shivers down even the fearless of men, and took hold of one of the male's children. 

"No!" He yelled and shakily pushed himself from where he sat, forcing himself to try and retrieve his son before the Witch would do anything to him. "Please, don't hurt him!" But, by the time he managed to reach her, she took one of her long nails and ran it across his throat. 

"Pa..." The child choked and sobbed, crimson bubbling up from his lips and leaking down his neck. In an instant, the male found himself standing right before her with a look of pure horror written all over his face. Tears surged at the corners of his eyes, slowly rolling down his cheeks. Two of his other sons attempted at fleeing, only to be caught by dark webs of the female's magic and pulled into her arms. She dropped the limp body of what once belonged to the Prince's son, now ripping the newly formed wings right from the sockets of his other two boys.

"Ahhh! Pa! Help us, please!" His boys cried out for their parent, but all the male could do was watch. "P-Please, help us, Daddy! W-Why aren't you doing anything?!" He was petrified. Never would he have thought he would see the day his own precious loves would be literally ripped apart right before his eyes, their amethyst orbs just glazed over with fresh tears and pure pain. His heart was shattering. 

Suddenly, the vile woman took them by their heads and tore them clean off, throwing their carcasses clear across the garden and over the white walls. The ground beneath her feet shook and cracked apart, thick vines with huge thorns shot up from between the cracks, and wrapped themselves tightly around her.

The male, full of grief, had his hands clenched in tight fists. He walked quickly up the growing stalks and straight for the cluster of vines tangling her within. A deep growl slipped past his lips, one of his hands opened up and faced itself directly at her, closing slowly which caused the vines to become excruciatingly bone crushing.

"You killed my sons! Now I am going to murder you!" He hissed out coldly, his voice holding nothing more than rage. A bright shade of forest green swirled around him, filling him with as much power as nature could give to him, and sent the Witch deep beneath the Earth. Upon shutting the large crack, he hopped himself down only to find himself in shock as the very woman he thought he had just defeated held onto his remaining son.

"You thought that would defeat me?! How stupid are you?!" She laughed maniacally at him, "for that...I won't let you see what I do to your previous little boy!" With that, everything became pitch-black, the Prince falling to the hard ground, limp, and almost lifeless. Alice swiftly cast the young male from the castle gardens and into her maze of cursed woods.

By the time he awoken, the first thing he noticed was the chilling air blowing right over his bushy coat of soft amethyst fur.  A quaver racking up his spine as he shook right down to the bone, his breath visible as he panted. The world around him spun out of control, his head pounding against the drums of his ears. A sharp, throbbing, pain ran up the length of his spine and low whimpers broke loose from his parting maw.

A gloomy fog crept over the forest floor, casting the poor Prince into an endless Stygian night; one where he could not see the stars above nor the freezing floor beneath the pads of his clawed feet. Bursts of panic flooded through his cooling veins, his fur growing on end. Where...w-where am I?

"Welcome to the Blackened Forest, young Prince Eco! I hope you have a fun time trying to escape the lurking beasts amongst the shadows!" The sadistic laugh of the Witch faded into darkness, it's origin unknown. 

Author's Note

Is there any problems that I need to fix? Grammar, punctuation, maybe some dialogue?

Reviews

[Kelsey Schadt]

Hi I am interested in this piece of writing and have some suggestions to improve it.
1) The title--I believe you want possessive rather than plural. Try A Witch's Corruption instead

2) Soon, however, the very woman he was so frightened off came crashing through one of the large pillars and skid across the dirt path to the gardens... Change off to of.

3) Watch your dialogue and thought formatting. The backslashes disrupt the flow of your writing.

Very creative!

[Ady]

Thank you so much! I will take that into consideration when I do my edits.