PROMISE

Story about two who made promise yet one forgot it.

PROMISE

08/10/2015

Under the beautiful shadowy tree

They made a promise to live together;

‘I’ll wait for you in wind or rain, sleet or snow

Nothing will keep you away from me forever’.

That was the promise made by them

But soon spring gone and autumn came;

One remembers the promise and lived it

But other forget it in own fame.

After several years of silence and distance

The met at place where it was made;

They looked each other with straight eyes

One was smiling though other was sad.

By saddam husen

14/10/2015

©2015saddamhusen

Author's Note

One was smiling though other was sad.

Reviews

[hardeep sabharwal]

A tale of love beautifully told, now a days people don't know the value of promise and such things are losing values and this also led to eradication of faith among people, a nice work,, thanks

[CA Anurag Sharma]

you left the ending to the reader's wisdom... it was touchy.... good work

[-Scribe in Style-]

The word promise is used so lightly these days. One often wonders if there is any point in vowing. But there is.
Being loyal is a test...
Well written.. A great expression of remembrance and getting carried away with life and circumstances.
Reminder to not take promises lightly and emotions bleakly but to remember their true meaning before committing..
Thanks for sharing such simplicity in a stylish form. Great work.
A

[AaronFreitas]

Awesome write Saddam! I like the story and how fate brought them back together to the same spot. Nice work :)

[Lyndy]

Nice poem, It's well written! :D

[lovergirl]

such a lovely piece , i liked it , it actually talks our reality cause we all lived broken promises , once we're the smiling ones and once we're the sad ones ;)
all i can say that it's damn hard to get broken by someone you love ;)

[Blue]

I remember the promise my ex and I made--to meet some years in the future and pretend we're still a couple even just for a day. I think this is how it would look like, though I don't know which one of us would be sad or smiling. Thanks for bringing up a special memory.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Beautiful and realistic.
Promises are made to be broken, is the worst thing to say for this heartfelt lovestory. Yet in real time people forget and loyalty changes.
Great write with vivid imagery. You told a long story in a few words.

[Quill]

well at least they still met at the end, although ending it with the sad and happy thing is kind of a cliffhanger

[Avinash]

It would interesting to know which one was the sad, the one who kept the promise or the one broke it...You have represented the poem very creatively and in an impressive way.