HUDDLED FOUR WALLS LIFE

Once a girl run away with her boyfriend but soon she realise that she has sold by another's hand. Now, sadly, she is in redlight

HUDDLED FOUR WALLS LIFE

 

Obviously he is a sign of horribleness

Horrific, devil, drought and so ruthless;

 

Callous, effect less for any implore

Indignation as I face never before.

 

When he comes, my worlds shake

Crumbled my heart with bolt up right

Tether his wish, which he want to make

Futile I am, could not jostle or fight.

 

Harshly roared at my whole surface

Demon ceased my intends and mine crush.

 

All sharp pain graved in my in

How I say, what I say for my pin?

 

My world is now huddled in four walls

No lights, from my misty window

I am poison-ate every day in smalls

No any chum, even, has left my shadow.

 

š•Ë•›

Author's Note

This is my attempt towards the dark poetry so let me know about your thinking. Thank you so much.

Reviews

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

I am poisonate every day in smalls ?

poisonate no such word I think you meant
poison ate or Poisoned. this may help http://dictionary.reference.com/

it helps me. All sharp pain graved in my in. this verse confuses me
did you mean All sharp pain graved in my side or Abdomen or Jabbed in your said
or Innards intestines.


I think this was a very good flow at begging and in the middle parts
but I hope you see this as me being helpful because some of the lines didn't make sense you can use what I shared or do it how you feel but I study something before I post it guess and look up words and meanings
and I am sure it has a flow.

I would work some more on those parts.

but thank you for sharing love it other then the parts that confused me.

I am not good at correcting others poems or mistakes
but it was
a interesting read I hope this hasn't upset you.


Blessings. Kindred poet

[Saddam]

This is good, all suggetion make me better than before. I search dictionary as well but you are right that word is not in dictionary, then I make it for regular poison.
And another verse
All sharp pain graved in my in. It means every pain she bear hard to hard at her body and soul.
Your link I will check that soon.

[Benita-Staebell M - KindredPoet]

Thank you. you're very welcome. blessings. kindred poet

[melissa]

Great poem keep up the great work and keep sending me more to read i love reading them

[Saddam]

Thanks a lot dear, it means lot for me. Thank you.

[melissa]

Your welcome

[Sky]

Powerful..So much despair.Darkness.And lineliness.A very good rhymer.Loved it.It is a heartfelt cry.

[Saddam]

Thank you very much dear for your feedback.

[Sanober]

A very powerfully expressed piece ...full of despair and darkness. i could feel the helplessness...the claustrophobic feeling of hopelessness. Great work.

[Saddam]

very heartly thanks to you my friend.

[Vidya Bacchus]

This has a feel of hopelessness and deep sadness my friend.Such emotion you have penned Ssaad :)

[Saddam]

thank you so much my sweet friend.....

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome :)