HUDDLED FOUR WALLS LIFE

Once a girl run away with her boyfriend but soon she realise that she has sold by another's hand. Now, sadly, she is in redlight

HUDDLED FOUR WALLS LIFE

 

Obviously he is a sign of horribleness

Horrific, devil, drought and so ruthless;

 

Callous, effect less for any implore

Indignation as I face never before.

 

When he comes, my worlds shake

Crumbled my heart with bolt up right

Tether his wish, which he want to make

Futile I am, could not jostle or fight.

 

Harshly roared at my whole surface

Demon ceased my intends and mine crush.

 

All sharp pain graved in my in

How I say, what I say for my pin?

 

My world is now huddled in four walls

No lights, from my misty window

I am poison-ate every day in smalls

No any chum, even, has left my shadow.

 

š•Ë•›

Author's Note

This is my attempt towards the dark poetry so let me know about your thinking. Thank you so much.

Reviews

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

I am poisonate every day in smalls ?

poisonate no such word I think you meant
poison ate or Poisoned. this may help http://dictionary.reference.com/

it helps me. All sharp pain graved in my in. this verse confuses me
did you mean All sharp pain graved in my side or Abdomen or Jabbed in your said
or Innards intestines.


I think this was a very good flow at begging and in the middle parts
but I hope you see this as me being helpful because some of the lines didn't make sense you can use what I shared or do it how you feel but I study something before I post it guess and look up words and meanings
and I am sure it has a flow.

I would work some more on those parts.

but thank you for sharing love it other then the parts that confused me.

I am not good at correcting others poems or mistakes
but it was
a interesting read I hope this hasn't upset you.


Blessings. Kindred poet

[Saddam]

This is good, all suggetion make me better than before. I search dictionary as well but you are right that word is not in dictionary, then I make it for regular poison.
And another verse
All sharp pain graved in my in. It means every pain she bear hard to hard at her body and soul.
Your link I will check that soon.

[Benita-Staebell M - KindredPoet]

Thank you. you're very welcome. blessings. kindred poet

[Penny]

Very nyc poem and even better subject. Hats off and keep writing.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A striking and relentless piece that speaks volumes, well done, good read.

[Anita Singh]

Its dark and intriguing. Needs a bit of polishing.

[star73]

I love it its very dark and very good.

[Rachelle]

Jagged and raw - as if the person's bitterness is voicing out all the pain in spurts. Quite real, in terms of that. You captured it well.

[EmilyBianca]

You succeeded at your attempt :)

[Kamari's]

I have already sent you my thoughts but great work

[writ rajat]

it helps me. All sharp pain graved in my in. this verse confuses me
did you mean All sharp pain graved in my side or Abdomen or Jabbed in your said
or Innards intestines.


I think this was a very good flow at begging and in the middle parts
but I hope you see this as me being helpful because some of the lines didn't make sense you can use what I shared or do it how you feel but I study something before I post it guess and look up words and meanings
and I am sure it has a flow.

I would work some more on those parts.

but thank you for sharing love it other then the parts that confused me.

I am not good at correcting others poems or mistakes
but it was
a interesting read I hope this hasn't upset you.I am poisonate every day in smalls ?

poisonate no such word I think you meant
poison ate or Poisoned. this may help http://dictionary.reference.com/

it helps me. All sharp pain graved in my in. this verse confuses me
did you mean All sharp pain graved in my side or Abdomen or Jabbed in your said
or Innards intestines.


I think this was a very good flow at begging and in the middle parts
but I hope you see this as me being helpful because some of the lines didn't make sense you can use what I shared or do it how you feel but I study something before I post it guess and look up words and meanings
and I am sure it has a flow.

I would work some more on those parts.

but thank you for sharing love it other then the parts that confused me.

I am not good at correcting others poems or mistakes
but it was
a interesting read I hope this hasn't upset you.Strong sentiments in your writing, I could feel the emotion coming through loud and clear. A good effort at dark genre. Well done :)I am poisonate every day in smalls ?

poisonate no such word I think you meant
poison ate or Poisoned. this may help http://dictionary.reference.com/

it helps me. All sharp pain graved in my in. this verse confuses me
did you mean All sharp pain graved in my side or Abdomen or Jabbed in your said
or Innards intestines.


I think this was a very good flow at begging and in the middle parts
but I hope you see this as me being helpful because some of the lines didn't make sense you can use what I shared or do it how you feel but I study something before I post it guess and look up words and meanings
and I am sure it has a flow.

I would work some more on those parts.

but thank you for sharing love it other then the parts that confused me.

I am not good at correcting others poems or mistakes
but it was
a interesting read I hope this hasn't upset you.I am poisonate every day in smalls ?

poisonate no such word I think you meant
poison ate or Poisoned. this may help http://dictionary.reference.com/

it helps me. All sharp pain graved in my in. this verse confuses me
did you mean All sharp pain graved in my side or Abdomen or Jabbed in your said
or Innards intestines.


I think this was a very good flow at begging and in the middle parts
but I hope you see this as me being helpful because some of the lines didn't make sense you can use what I shared or do it how you feel but I study something before I post it guess and look up words and meanings
and I am sure it has a flow.

I would work some more on those parts.

but thank you for sharing love it other then the parts that confused me.

I am not good at correcting others poems or mistakes
but it was
a interesting read I hope this hasn't upset you.I am poisonate every day in smalls ?

poisonate no such word I think you meant
poison ate or Poisoned. this may help http://dictionary.reference.com/

it helps me. All sharp pain graved in my in. this verse confuses me
did you mean All sharp pain graved in my side or Abdomen or Jabbed in your said
or Innards intestines.


I think this was a very good flow at begging and in the middle parts
but I hope you see this as me being helpful because some of the lines didn't make sense you can use what I shared or do it how you feel but I study something before I post it guess and look up words and meanings
and I am sure it has a flow.

I would work some more on those parts.

but thank you for sharing love it other then the parts that confused me.

I am not good at correcting others poems or mistakes
but it was
a interesting read I hope this hasn't upset you.

[Trevor Barnett]

I really enjoyed your poem full of despair! Never knew there could be beauty in such a negative space.

[Sami Khalil]

What a sad story line. Written darkly but a bright mind...Bravo, sir...:)..............